The 'I' of Meghnad Desai

There were great expectations of me: Born on July 10, 1940, I grew up with my four siblings — two brothers and two sisters — in Baroda. My father, Jagdish Chandra, worked for the Baroda government and my mother, Mandakini, was a housewife. Growing up was all about living up to the expectations of my parents.
My parents were never satisfied with me: I went straight to secondary school at the age of five.I was a matriculate at 14, an Honours student before I was 18, got a master’s degree before turning 20, and was a PhD when I wasn’t 23. Nonetheless, my parents felt that I didn’t study hard enough.
My mother is my hero: Determined to complete her studies, my mother stayed up all night reading textbooks after completing her domestic work. She finally became a matriculate when I was eight. My mother died when I was still at an impressionable age. Raised by my stepmother, I saw myself as having one parent.
Romance was an elusive dream: At Ram Lohia College, each time I had a crush on a girl, she would either show disinterest or take a fondness for somebody else! The boldest I ever got myself to be was to sing Dil Tadap Tadap Ke and Tere Husn Ki Kya Taarif Karoon for girls!
One exam changed my life: After I secured a master’s degree from the Mumbai School of Economics, my parents wanted me to become an IAS officer. But the qualifying age was 21, and I wasn’t even 20. In between, I won a scholarship to Pennsylvania University. I left India in August 1960.
London broadened my horizons: From Pennsylvania, where I completed my PhD in 1963, I served as an intern at the London School of Economics and got a job there in 1965. In London, I learnt about jazz, rock and twist. Away from home, I rediscovered a side of myself that I always had.
If only I was as good-looking as Dilip Kumar: My only regret in life is that I could never be as good-looking as Dilip Kumar. My hair, for one, is not as long and straight as his. Nonetheless, I tried imitating his hairstyle by using hair lotion. With time, I reconciled to the fact that not everybody has the good fortune to look like Dilip Kumar. My book Nehru’s Hero: Dilip Kumar in the Life of India is my greatest achievement.
Kishwar struck me like lightning: After earning name and fame, if there was something I needed in life, it was true love. Till very recently, love meant nothing to me. Then, I met Kishwar Ahluwalia, and lightning struck! Of course, it took me some time to convince her that lightning had struck her too! The first time I met Kishwar was at the Pravasi Bhartiya Diwas earlier this year. Then, I came down to India to meet Kishwar since she is the editor of my book. We went out to see Chameli and, while watching the movie, I noticed how attractive she was. What’s more, both of us found the film to be so bad that we walked out mid-way! After this, we spoke for hour after hour over the phone... me in London, she in Delhi.
Kishwar is my Nargis: I am looking forward to marrying Kishwar. We will watch Hindi films together and I will sing Raat Dhali, Chali Chali and Ab Aa Raha Sawera to her. I hope to make a film about us. But if we played ourselves, I would ruin the film with my singing! I have never sent a valentine card to anyone, Kishwar included. I am here — every day is Valentine’s Day for me. My next book on Nargis will be co-authored by Kishwar — she is Nargis for me.
I have no regrets in life: One of the most touching moments in my life was when my first child was born. Being a private person, I prefer not to discuss details of my first marriage. In 1991, I was made a member of Britain’s House of Lords. There are no regrets... I take things as they come. And now, with Kishwar by my side, I can conclude that my life has been a fulfilling one.
allenobrien@indiatimes.com