Curse of the Three-Eyed Dog!

It's a fact. No matter how high an executive climbs on the corporate totem pole, there's always at least one executive higher up wielding even more power. We know this to be true for three reasons:

First, Einstein recognized this in his Theory of Relativity. We speak, of course, of Einstein's Law of Increasing Executives.

Second, our own company president, Dave X, will occasionally break into a loud, high-pitched sob and yell, "It's the Man. Watch out for the Man. He's bringing us down." Then, he jumps on his desk. After a while, his vice presidents can usually coax him down with donuts and post-it notes.

Finally, one of our recent celebrity guests proved the point last week.

What Happened?

Dave X and his posse of vice presidents (they love it when we call them a posse) strolled out of town recently to attend a board meeting for InfiNet, CSotD's mother company. After being grilled about really important stuff, Dave X and his posse relaxed and began showing the board executives some of our company's Web sites.

"Hey," said Dave X. "I've got an idea. Why don't we check out Cool Site of the Day?"

Bright ideas hath e'er lit the fuse of tragedy.

Little did Dave X know, Wes Kilgore had just posted our latest "Agent of Cool" page featuring one of the hottest bands on the alternative charts. So when Dave X clicked on Cool Site of the Day with members of the board watching, he was greeted with a giant logo declaring:"Butthole Surfers."

Someone gasped.

Then, slowly, this picture began to form on the page:

Another sharp intake of breath.

"My God," cried one board member, "What is that...that...thing?"

Dave X pulled a silver hip flask filled with Maalox from his jacket and swigged. "I think it's a dog. At least, I hope it's a dog."

Bob X, executive vice president, stepped forward and spoke. "Actually, it is a dog. The Butthole Surfers, led by frontman Gibby Haynes, have the number one alternative album on the charts ,"Electriclarryland", which was propelled by the success of their single, "Pepper." Some critics, however, have dismissed this latest album as "Beck Lite," referring, of course, to alternative pop star Beck, known for his eclectic mixture of folk, rap and heavy metal."

"How in heaven's name did you know that, Bob?"

"Hmmmm. That's strange," said Bob X. "I have no idea."

"Well," said one board executive. "I may not know alternative rock, but I do know one thing."

"What's that, sir?" asked Dave X.

"For your sake, those three things in that dog's head had better be eyes."

Would We Pick It Again?

This particular problem rates three executives on our "Bad Webmaster" scale because three executives mentioned the Butthole Surfers when they got back in town. Would we feature this band again if given a second chance? Yep. For people offended by the band's name, we suggest you pull the latest "Hootie and the Blowfish" tape out of your eight-track player and meditate on the hipness of using double entendres in Rock and Roll.

As for the band's three-eyed dog, it gives us the creeps. We've noticed that the dog seems to be staring at you no matter what angle you view it. Maybe that's just a side effect of having three eyes, but our bosses get exactly the same look every time they read a new "Bad! Bad Webmaster! Bad!!!".

Our advice to our fragile execs?

Never let "the Man" bring you down.