Believe it or not, your wife is probably going to insist that you talk or even read a book to your unborn child. This is because a number of studies done by scientists who were obviously really bored seem to have shown that talking to an unborn may be embarrassing for you but good for the baby. It's one of those theories like "no two snowflakes are alike." They can't prove it but you can't disprove it. Since they are scientists (who for some unknown reason specialize in this sort of thing) and you're not, guess who your wife is going to listen to.
Your best course of action is to grin and bear it and hope nobody is watching you on a hidden camera or something. It will help you get through this if you talk about subjects that are near and dear to your heart such as your favorite TVshows and sports teams. This will allow you to keep at least some semblance of your manhood. Plus, if those wacky scientists are right your baby will be born with incredible taste. Of course, the best benefit from all this will be you'll get a happy wife and a happy pregnant woman is much easier to deal with than a non-happy one.
(Reprinted with permission.)