Thursday, April 15, 2021

The story you were looking for hasn't just been taken out of context, it's been taken out altogether! Well I’m sorry, that’s the price that we have to pay sometimes to have a good website going forward.
CRAIG KELLY
Unfortunately the page you’re looking for is not here. You might like to try going back to the homepage
Find out what
thinks about this mess
SCOTT MORRISON
Stone the crows, cobbers, this link is totally cactus. Crook as Rookwood! Fair dinkum, we feel like a bunch of drongos. We're gonna have a burl at making sure she's apples again before youse all shout 'hooroo' and do the Harold.
STUART ROBERT
It might not be much of a consolation, but I can think of 37,975 things worse about the internet than a busted link.
PETER DUTTON
Everything's been buggered up beyond description and this isn't where you expected to finish up? Tell me about it.
MALCOLM TURNBULL
Oh dear, it appears something has gone wr-
CRAIG KELLY
The story you were looking for hasn't just been taken out of context, it's been taken out altogether! Well I’m sorry, that’s the price that we have to pay sometimes to have a good website going forward.
GREG HUNT
Oh look, the link's broken. What, did you think this website was your [REDACTED] best friend? You need to [REDACTED] get over yourself. Unless you're planning to talk to the media about our little chat, in which case I apologise publicly, sincerely and absolutely for my strong language.
BARNABY JOYCE
What do you mean, 'what happened?' Well, that's the $150,000 question.
MICHAELIA CASH
Oh, you want to ask me about this broken link, do you? You really want to go down that path? Well, why don't I ask you about those rumours about how you [rest of quote redacted pending legal advice].
GEORGE CHRISTENSEN
If this busted link doesn't fix itself in the next 30 seconds, I'll quit. I totally will. No, I really mean it this time. I'm gone! Pulling the pin! Outta here! Okay, I'm not going to quit. Sorry if I gave you the impression I was going to resign.
BOB KATTER
This reminds me of the time [laughs] when I was a young fella and [very high-pitched bit, not immediately clear what is being said] and [explosive laughter] so I said show me the piglet then [laughter to the point where the hat shifts] and he said [explosive giggle] you've come to the wrong place! [Wipes tear from eye.] But seriously, if we're going to talk about errors, let's talk about the supermarket duopoly that has a stranglehold on this country.
MATT CANAVAN
Che sarà, sarà
PAUL KEATING
This is the 404 page we had to have.
TONY ABBOTT
Sorry the drink is br... The brink is loken. The ink is... Come on, Tony, you can do this - it was only a few bottles. The link is broken. Yes, the link is broken! I did it! I have to lie down for a bit now
BILL SHORTEN
Obviously you can't read the article you were looking for, but I'm sure you'd agree with everything it said.
JULIE BISHOP
CLIVE PALMER
Ask Hedley Thomas once he gets off his Skype call with Rupert. #yesRupert
ERIC ABETZ
This error is just a distraction. Ordinary Australians want us focused on jobs, growth, the economy, union corruption, the ABC, and the return of Tony Abbott.
JULIA GILLARD
There's more chance of me becoming the full forward for the Dogs than there is of you finding that article here. Move forward.
KEVIN RUDD
Look, folks, can I just simplify the conundrum at hand? It will be transparent to even the least inquiring of intellects that what we are in the grip of an occurrence that surely bears more than a passing - and might I add uncanny - resemblance to a situation this unhappy little Vegemite once found himself in while in Copenhagen with the rodent-copulators of the Middle Kingdom. Furthermore...
PENNY WONG
[Says nothing, just arches an eyebrow meaningfully]
PETER COSTELLO
Sometimes it's about the procreation - one for mum, one for dad, one for Australia. But sometimes, as this page reminds us, it's just rooted without any outcome.
PAULINE HANSON
Fellow Australians, if you are seeing this message now, it means the link has been murdered. Do not let its passing distract you for even a moment. For the sake of our children and our children’s children, you must fight on.
JOH BJELKE-PETERSEN
Now don't you worry about this.
JOHN HOWARD
This article might be down, but the times will come to suit it.
ROBERT MENZIES
Fellow Australians, it is my melancholy duty to inform you officially that the page you requested is not here.
GOUGH WHITLAM
Sorry, comrades, it must have been my aura.
MALCOLM FRASER
Life wasn't meant to be easy, but take heart, this story will eventually turn up.
BOB HAWKE
Any story that doesn't turn up in the right place is a bum.
BOB BROWN
You're reading The Australian - hate media central. What did you expect?
ROBERT ASKIN
When I find out who's responsible, I will run over the bastard.
HENRY PARKES
This is a miracle of error for which we shall have to answer as for a gigantic sin.
ROB OAKESHOTT
I've spent a lot of time thinking about how to explain this error to you. As with any explanation, there are choices to be made. And none of these choices are easy, I can tell you. They have to be carefully weighed and evaluated, each one held up to the light. I haven't been sleeping much while I've been thinking about it. What's best for the nation? What is the best way for us to all go forward together as a nation. What if I make the wrong decision? What are the consequences? This isn't about Rob Oakeshott. As I was saying to Tony Windsor, my community is split, even my kids are split on which way to go. Is it a wicked dilemma, or a juicy, sexy decision? Even that's not easy to decide and I might have to workshop my thought processes out loud to you over the next quarter of an hour or so. That's the sort of new paradigm I'm interested in - total transparency all the way. Whichever way I end up leaning, it isn't an endorsement of any philosophy, of any brand, of any school of 404 error thought. In fact in the discussions we've had over the last few minutes, I think I can speak on behalf of all of us that we have generally come to a pretty similar conclusion that I suspect that plenty of people that went to click on that story and were thoroughly unimpressed with the way the story didn't appear, just a pile of totally unrelated words and faces. We have to do better than that. We can't stick with those old ways - Australia is clearly ready to move on to the new paradigm. But there's more than one road forward. And again this has made this a difficult decision to make. When we reach the end of these words, there's a job to do, and that is to bring this missing story and your eyeballs together. But before I go on, I really need to mention a few people who've just been amazing ... [edited for space]
JACQUI LAMBIE
I heard someone mention a balls up. What's happening?
ANTHONY ALBANESE
Sorry, the link's broken. But if it's any consolation, I have a beer named after me. How good is that?
DERRYN HINCH
This link is broken - shame, shame, shame. I'll have a lot more to say about this the moment parliamentary privilege kicks in. I'm Derryn Hinch.
MICHAEL MCCORMACK
Ah, bugger it. First the census, now this. This was meant to be no worse than Facebook.
MALCOLM ROBERTS
They tell me this link is broken, but I choose to believe it isn't. As far as I'm concerned, that's the end of the issue.
SCOTT MORRISON'S COAL
Why are you here? I was just wondering the same thing myself.
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