The Addams Family (film)
1991 film by Barry Sonnenfeld
The Addams Family is a 1991 film, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, that features the bizarre characters of American cartoonist Charles Addams's comic strip and television show of the same name. A satirical inversion of the ideal of the perfect American nuclear family, the Addamses are a bizarre family who delight in everything grotesque and macabre, and are never really aware of why people find them frightening, or simply don't care.
Wednesday: [hooking up an electric chair] Pugsley, sit in the chair.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So we can play a game.
Pugsley: What game?
Wednesday: [strapping him in] It's called, "Is There a God?"
Girl Scout: Is this made from real lemons?
Wednesday: Yes.
Girl Scout: I only like all-natural foods and beverages, organically grown, with no preservatives. Are you sure they're real lemons?
Pugsley: Yes.
Girl Scout: I'll tell you what- I'll buy a cup if you buy a box of my delicious Girl Scout cookies. Do we have a deal?
Wednesday: Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
Morticia: Children, what are you doing?
Wednesday: I'm going to electrocute him.
Morticia: But we're late for the charity auction.
Wednesday: But, Mother!
Morticia: [firmly] I said no.
Pugsley: Pleeaaaase?
Morticia: [smiling indulgently] Oh, all right.
Wednesday: Pass the salt.
Morticia: And what do we say?
Wednesday: [sternly] Now.
Gomez: How long has it been since we waltzed?
Morticia: Oh, Gomez...hours.
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: The human spirit, it is a very difficult thing to kill.
Grandma: Even with a chainsaw!
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Love/hate, hate/love. Like for mama, no?
Gomez: But I didn't hate my mother- it was an accident!
[Morticia and Grandma examine a valuable heirloom Morticia is donating to charity]
Grandma: Let's keep it!
Morticia: Hush, mama! It's for charity! Widows and orphans. We need more of them.
Morticia: Margaret, about the séance tonight, I wish you'd come. It's Gomez, I'm terribly worried about him. He won't eat, he can't sleep, he keeps coughing up blood...
Margaret: He coughs up blood?
Morticia: Well, not like he used to.
Margaret: [regarding Cousin Itt] Everyone keeps asking where he got his costume.
Gomez: It is a wonderful hat.
Sally Jessy Raphael: So, you say your son was kidnapped by voodoo witch doctors? Let's take a call.
Gomez: Hello, Sally?
Sally Jessy Raphael: [frustrated] Mr. Addams, please, stop calling! We do not know where they meet!
Morticia: Gomez, let's go for a drive- the whole family.
Gomez: A drive? And miss Gilligan?
Uncle Fester: Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone before?
Wednesday: He's only a child.
Uncle Fester: That's no excuse! Aim for a major artery. The jugular.
[Gomez and Fester are watching home movies]
Gomez: Do you remember that fateful night?
Uncle Fester: [hedging] Um...your first cigar!
Gomez: What? Come on, old man, I've smoked since I was 5- Mother insisted.
Margaret: This is always so embarrassing. Why did I marry you?
Tully: Because I said yes.
Judge: [after a golf ball crashes through his window] Damn you, Addams!
Gomez: Sorry about the window, Judge. Keep the ball, I have a whole bucket full!
Judge: You moron!
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: [faking an over-the-top Germanic accent] Mr. Addams, I beleef I am understandink. I can help. Jais? Ze theory of displacement, is zis familiar?
Gomez: No. Tish?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Oh, it is too exciting! I vill explain.
Gomez: [eagerly] Is it unpleasant?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Deeply. Your very own bruzzer, you drive him avay. "Go, off viz you!" But zen, you are feelink ze little black monster.
Gomez: Pugsley?
Dr. Pinder-Schloss: Guilt! Jais! Your bruzzer returns, you feel guilty- you displace.
Gomez: [helping Morticia out of a torture device] Leather pokers...
Morticia: Later, my dearest.
[Wednesday finishes strapping Pugsley into the electric chair and goes over to the controls]
Wednesday: It has to warm up.
Pugsley: Why?
Wednesday: So it can kill you.
Pugsley: I knew that.
Abigail Craven: Can it, Gordon! Stop dragging your feet! You disgust me! You're nothing but a useless sniveling baby! A stone around my neck! What was I thinking? I should have left you where I found you!
Uncle Fester: No tricks, Gomez! That's the wrong book! Allow me.
Gomez: Good show, old man.
Tully Alford: Put that book down, Gordon! You don't know what it can do! It's not just literture!
Uncle Fester: Oh, really?
Morticia: Quickly, my darling!
Tully Alford: Gordon, I'm your friend, think of the doubloons!
Uncle Fester: They're not yours, Tully! Back off!
Gomez: Leather straps, red-hot pokers...
Morticia: Later, my dearest.
Abigail Craven: Keep the book closed, Gordon. Listen to mother!
Uncle Fester: I'll never listen to you, never, ever again!
Abigail Craven: I had to be strict with you because I cared! Put it down!
Uncle Fester: You never really loved me!
Gomez: Fester, this way!
Abigail Craven: Stop whining, you little good-for-nothing! Be a man!
Uncle Fester: You were a terrible mother! There! I said it!
[Fester opens the book, and a hurricane is unleashed inside the house, causing Tully Alford and Abigail Craven to launch out the window]
Pugsley: Are they dead?
Wednesday: Does it matter?
External links
Wikipedia has an article about:
The Addams Family quotes at the Internet Movie Database
Last edited on 3 November 2021, at 12:32
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