Sonny With a Chance
21 Episodes by February 8 - November 22, 2009
Episode 1.Sketchy Beginnings
Sonny: I can't believe I'm really here! Mom!
Connie: Ahhh! This is so exciting! All right. Come here. Now hold still. (rubs Sonny's face)
Sonny: Mom! Stop it! Stop it! Cut it out! We don't need more sunblock. I'm inside.
Connie: Alright, I'm sorry.You know, it's not everyday I hand my beautiful daughter over to show business.
Sonny: Look mom. We talked about this. Show business is not going to change me.
Connie: You've got a big head.
Sonny: What? I do not. I'm the same girl I was back home in Wisconsin.
Connie: With a much bigger head.
Sonny: My head is the exact same size as-
Connie: (turns Sonny around)
Sonny: (sees a large picture of herself) Whoa. I do have a big head. Cool!
Marshall: Ah! There she is! There's my new star!
Sonny: Mr. Pike!
Marshall: (shakes Sonny's hand) Please, it's Marshall. (shakes Connie's hand) Connie we're so thrilled to have Sonny join our family. Oh, and I promise you, she's in very good hands here.
Connie: Good. Because you know what we do to people in Wisconsin who make promises they can't keep.
Marshall: You make them into cheese. (laughs then stop) I can see where Sonny gets her sense of humor.
Sonny: Actually I get it from my dad. She's not kidding. But she is hovering.
Connie: Alright. Alright. I can take a hint. Someone wants their mom to leave. Okay, come here. Before I go I know I have said this many times but-
Sonny: Don't talk to strangers.
Connie: No, but yes.
Sonny: Don't swim after eating?
'Connie: No but yes.
Sonny: Don't skateboard with a sucker in your mouth.
Connie: I am trying to tell you how proud I am of you. I just, couldn't be prouder... [rubbing Sonny's face]
Sonny: You just put a little bit more sun block on me, didn't you?
Connie: No, but yes.
Sonny: Bye! [hugs mom]
Marshall: Well, here we are kiddo. This is the prop house.
Sonny: Oh my gosh, this is so cool. I've read about this place. Wow, this is where the cast hangs out. This is the gnome from the gnome sketch. And, that's the sarcophagus for the mommy dearest sketch. [sighs] Wow. And, ah, that's a pink hat that I've never really seen before.
Marshall: Yep. One day, there'll be props in here from sketches you're in, maybe one of your hats. Anyway, just know as executive producer, I'm always here for you. [beep]
intercom: Marshall, your mother is on line four.
Marshall: Take a message.
intercom: And five.
Marshall: I gotta go. [walks away]
Sonny: [walks to sarcophagus, opens it and sees Zora] Ahh!
Zora: Ahh! Don't you knock?
Sonny: Sorry, I didn't realize anyone was here. But, your Zora, and I'm Sonny. I'm new.
Zora: Ha. Obviously, otherwise, you would have knocked. Now, if you'll mind... (shut sarcophagus.)
Grady: You play the mother, I play the baby. You play the stomach, I play the barf.
Nico: I thought you like playing the barf, bro.
Grady: No, I like playing the barf. It's the funniest thing that comes out of you, but you know.
Sonny: Hey guys. [holds her hand out]
Nico: Hello there. Nico. [kisses Sonny's hand] But you knew that.
Grady: Grady, but you knew that.
Sonny: And I'm Sonny! But I knew that!
Episode 2.West Coast Story
Sonny: Hey, does this fat suit make me look fat?
Tawni: You're in a fat suit?
Sonny Ha, ha. See, I was going to tell you how good you did in that fast food sketch, but now I don't think I'm going to.
Tawni: You just did.
Sonny: Darn my niceness!
Sonny: Oh, my gosh! I know you! You're... You're...
Chad: [pointing at picture of himself] Him? Chad Dylan Cooper.
Sonny: You're MacKenzie on MacKenzie Falls!
Sonny: Yes! No! No! Madge is my waitress character. And all this belongs to Madge, too. :[gestures to her fat suit] Hi, I'm Sonny.
Chad: Sonny. That's a nice name.
Sonny: [reads Chad's autograph] Sonny, thanks for the yogurt. Chad Dylan Cooper. I-I didn't give you any yogurt! Chad Dylan Cooper just stole my yogurt! [talks to an anonymous person] Oh, my gosh! Chad Dylan Cooper just stole my yogurt!
Sonny: We were trying to make peace.
Chad: Please, you were trying to trap us.
Sonny: Trap you? You've obviously been watching your show too much. You know, not everything is cutthroat and gossipy? Sometimes people do things because they're trying to be nice.
Chad: Do they, Sonny? Do they, really? Look, it was sweet of you to put that picnic together. It was way sweet. But the bad blood between our two shows has run too deep for too long to be healed by a bowl of egg salad, and even the best of intentions. [holds Sonny's hand] Just because you wish for something doesn't make it so.
Sonny: Oh, Chad Dylan--
Chad: Shh. The time for talking is over. I must go. So run-- run back to your show, and put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed. [walks away]
Sonny: (staring at Chad) What just happened?
Chad: You know. A lot of people say that it's So Random! that we won this award. But it's not So Random! ... it's never So Random! . Because Mackenzie Falls rules! Thank you, Tweens!
Zora: There SHE Is!
Sonny: Hey, guys. Where have you been?
Grady: Where have we been? Where have you been?
Sonny: I asked you first.
Nico: What happened with Chad?
Sonny: Well, see, I went... [ turns on a hairdryer and its whirring loudly ] [inaudible ) - ( whirring stops ) - And that's why everything is okay.
Grady: Did you get back our stuff?
Sonny: (whirring loudly but Zora turns off the hairdryer)
Zora: Stop blowing and start talking.
Sonny: Well, interesting story.
Tawni: Did it go something like this? Blah Blah Blah Peace picnic! Blah Blah Blah Oh, I've got nothing.
Sonny: Actually, I'm acting like a chicken. I'm not afraid to act like a fool. (continues bawking)
Tyler: and that's why she is my pet
(scratching sonny's hair and turning it into a chicken comb)
Chad: FINE! I'LL TAKE YOU ON MUSICAL CHAIRS!
Sonny: Good. See you at noon.
Chad: Yes you will! You smell like ham.
Sonny: I've seen you're acting. That makes two of us.
Chad: (he and Sonny left in musical chairs) Looks like it's just you, me, and one more thing you're not gonna get.
Sonny: You know, you're acting pretty confident for someone who's gonna lose!
Chad: Ha ha ha. At least I can act.
Sonny: Can you, Chad? Can you, really?
Nico: She's givin' it right back to him.
Tawni: We might actually win!
So Random Cast: Yes! Yes! (music stops and Sonny trips) No!
Sonny: Ow! It's my ankle, it really hurts. I think something snapped.
Chad: (forgets the game) Oh, man... that looks really serious. We'd better get you to a doctor. Just take my hand.
Sonny: (grabs his hand then smiles and pulls him down, then jumps into the chair to win the game) Peace out, suckas!!
So Random Cast: (cheers for Sonny)
Tawni: (hugs Sonny but then lets go shortly)
Chad: You tricked me!
Sonny: No... I was acting!
Chad: Not bad. Perhaps there's a spot for you on MacKenzie Falls... after Portlyn disappears in a mysterious ballooning accident.
Episode 3.Sonny At The Falls
Chad: You know Sonny, didn't seem like your friends where very supportive. It was almost like they were dissing you.
Sonny: Oh, them mocking me and making fun of my idea was just their way of, mocking me and making fun of my idea.
Chad: Well, you do things differently at "So Random". At the Falls, if one of us cries, we all crie. Lets just assume that when one of you laughs, you all laugh.
--- (The "So Random" cast enters Stage 2, where it is the "Mackenzie Falls" cast)
Tawni: I'd like to have a word with you.
Girl of the "Mackenzie Falls"" cast: Is that word goodbye?
Tawni: Oh, if I was talking to you the word would be "moise drie exfoliate"
Sonny: You know, over at the Falls they trust and supporte each other.
Grady: Did you hear it? She call it the "Falls". The "Falls".
Tawni: Well, if you like the "Falls" so much, why don't you go back there?
Nico: Yeah, go over there and stick your head in the trust and supporte fountain.
.Sonny: Well, if you want me to, then maybe I'll go.
Sonny: (drops the pen) Fine! You have seen the last of Sonny Munroe! I mean other than the fact that we have to rehearse.
Tawni, Nico, Grady, Zora: (agreeing with Sonny)
Sonny: But other than that you have seen the last of Sonny Munroe! (leaves but comes back) Actually I forgot my jacket.
So Random Cast: (laughing at how silly that Sonny forgot her jacket)
Sonny: Other than that, you have seen the last of Sonny Munroe! (leaves then comes back again) I don't even have a jacket!
So Random Cast: (laughing again that Sonny doesn't even have a jacket)
Sonny: Now for the last time, you have seen the last of Sonny Munroe! I say, good day. (finally leaves)
(In the cafeteria, Zora slaps Tawni in the face)
Zora: Snap out of it, woman!
Tawni: Thank you.
Zora: No, thank you! (Starts laughing like a psycho)
Grady: Oh, look. She's making the lobster talk.
At the prop house:
Zora: This is hard for me to say but Sonny is blind!
So Random Cast: (looks at her confused)
Nico: What do you mean she's blind?
Zora: Well he said she couldn't see me. And that could mean one thing: blind. Oh, and they got her all tied up in a bell tower!
Grady: How do you know?
Zora: Well I heard this loud chime.
Tawni: Are you sure it's not a gong in a meditation room?
Zora: Oh that's insane. I'm telling you. Something smells fishy.
Grady: This is like that episode of Mackenzie Falls where they-where they blinded that girl and brainwashed her.
So Random Cast: (looks at him in shock)
Grady: (smiles nervously) Not that I watch it.
Nico: Not that I watch it either, but that was never really an episode.
Zora: Because this is really happening people!
Tawni: Wait, something else is happening. My palms are sweaty. My heart's racing.
Nico: I think you're caring.
Tawni: (confused) What?
Nico: For someone besides yourself.
Tawni: WHAT?! We have to stop that! We got to get Sonny back! Not for her but for me!
Zora: Well, I have a plan but you guys are going to have to trust me. (crouches down in a circle with Nico and Grady)
Tawni: Trusting, caring. It's all too much!
Grady: (pushes Tawni's head down)
Zora: (tells them her plan)
Tawni: My hair itches.
Grady: I have never felt more free. I was born to wear a cape.
Zora: (shocks Grady)
Grady: Oww! What was that for?
Zora: I just mastered my powers. Now back in your poses!
Chad: You trust me, don't you?
Sonny: No, I don't think I do.
Chad: Of course you can. Wait, who is talking while I am acting?
Sonny: (looks around and acts like she did nothing)
Zora: Watch out for the security guard! He's ten feet tall, with arms like tree trunks and legs that...won't be back for ten minutes?
So Random Cast: What?
Grady: Oh man! What are we going do for ten minutes?
Nico: Zora, do your thing.
Zora: (shocks Grady)
Tawni: Let's do this thing!
(Everyone goes inside the MacKenzie Falls set.)
Nico: We're now called "Loser Force Four"!
(The cast pose)
Sonny: Oww, you gave us a name!
Grady: You gave us a reason to give us a name.
(The cast looks at Grady confused)
Grady: We're at the "Falls". I'm felling dramatic.
Sonny: You missed me.
Tawni: I, experienced caring. It was awful.
Grady: We're here to apologize to you and ask you to come back.
Girl from "Mackenzie Falls" cast: Maybe she doesn't want to come back to you losers.
Nico: Loser? "Loser Force Four".
Chad: Whoa. Never saw a group of losers so proud to call themselves losers.
Sonny: Well, you know what. I'm probably calling myself loser too. Well, so I guess that makes us "Loser Force Five"!
Sonny: C'mon guys. (She whispers "Loser Force Five")
The "So Random" cast: "Loser Force Five"!
(The cast pose)
Episode 4.You've Got Fan Mail
Marshall: All right. Rehearsal for So You Think You Can Pee Pee Dance. In 5, 4, 3.
Sonny: (wearing a blond wig) This is So You Think You Can Pee Pee Dance! Flo!
Tawni: (comes out of a bathroom stall and dances awkwardly)
Zora: (comes out of another stall wearing a ballerina costume and dances)
Nico: (comes out of a stall and dances)
Sonny: And Wee Diddy!
Grady: (wearing gangster clothes and dances)
(Everyone starts dancing.)
Sonny: What's up peeps? I know you're all flushed with excitement. Because we are streaming live across the world! The final votes have trickled in. We're about to find who will become number one at holding number one. Right after this (makes a hissing sound). So You Think You Can Pee Pee Dance is brought to you by water! (pours water in a cup)
(All of the dancers can't hold it in anymore and run to the stalls.)
Marshall: (claps) Great rehearsal guys. Now I need a pee pee break.
Sonny: Hi, this is Sonny, and you've reached me at 555-0125, you know what to do.
[Sonny's cell phone rings as a cow]
Sonny: Hey, my first phone call. Hello?
Tawni: Yeah it's me. Could you keep it down? I have twenty pounds of fan mail to go through.
Sonny: Fan Mail? Did I get any?
[Sonny's cell phone rings]
Tawni: Aw, I was hoping to get your machine. Anyway, no fan mail for you. Sorry
Sonny: That's okay!
Tawni: Um, I said you had NO fan mail.
Sonny: I heard you.
Tawni: Doesn't that bother you? I mean when I joined the show, my fan mail started right away.
Sonny: Doesn't bother me.
[Sonny's cell phone rings again]
Tawni: Does it bother you now?
Sonny: I'm off to rehearsal. Besides, I'm not going to let this bother me. I'm way too mature.[Sonny takes baby bottle prop and hat to the rehearsal]
Sonny: Wah, Wah, Wah! That's no good. [higher pitched] Wah, Wah, Wah.
Tawni: Still crying about no fan mail?
Sonny:: No. I told you. I'm totally fine with that.
Tawni: Maybe someday, you'll get a fan letter like everyone else. Me, Zora, Grady, Niko, Marshall,...Me.
Sonny: Well for your information. I did get a fan letter. From Royalty. A king no less.
Tawni: Oh, really? Could it be the Hunan King? Does he live in a noodle palace?
Sonny: Actually, he's got seven locations. Okay, fine it's just a menu. I didn't get any stupid fan mail.
Tawni: Sweetie, I know it must hurt to be so unpopular. Well, I don't know. I can only imagine. Just like you can only imagine what it's like to actually BE popular. You see, every fan letter is like a hug from a friend.
Sonny: Is this pep talk almost over?
Tawni: Let's see. I got more pep. So yeah, all done!
Sonny: I have fans. They just haven't had time to write yet.
Tawni: Keep dreaming!
Sonny: It's time. [gets pen and paper and begins to write herself a fan letter from "Eric"]
Sonny as Eric: Dear Sonny...
[Tawni starts to hide the fan mail with the rest of Sonny's fan mail she's been hiding] [Sonny takes off the costume of Eric]
Sonny: Those are all for me!
Tawni: No! They're all for-Sonny?
Sonny: You've been hiding my fan mail.
Tawni: You're pretending to be your own fan?
Sonny: You committed mail fraud!
Tawni: You committed fan fraud!
Sonny: Fan fraud's not illegal!
Tawni: Mail fraud's not embarrassing!
Chad: (sees Sonny putting "Eric" into a box) I knew I recognized you. You're Weird Beard. Why are you Weird Beard?
Sonny: Why do you care?
Chad: I don't know. Let's give it a shot.
Sonny: Well, I sent myself a fan letter, pretended to be my own fan, and now I get to go out on stage and meet the fan I'm pretending to be.
Chad: Why would you write yourself a fan letter?
Sonny: Because I lost faith in myself.
Chad: Oh. Classic case of actor insecurity. You start doubting your abilities, wondering whether you were good enough and whether you deserve to be on TV.
Sonny: So you've been through this before?
Chad: No, no. No, but I made you think I had which is why I'll never go through it. Whew!
Sonny: You are unbelievable! I knew it. You don't care. I thought we were having a real moment here.
Marshall: Now please welcome back to the stage the cast of So Random!
Sonny: Well, that's my cue.
Chad: So what are you gonna do?
Sonny: You don't care, remember? But I do. Now excuse me while I go out there and embarrass myself.
Sonny: Let's just get this over with. Marshall, I have to say something. Eric is...
Chad: (as Eric) Your biggest fan!
Tawni: That's impossible. Eric is not real!
Chad: But I'm standing right here. Let's give it up for Sonny!
Sonny: Why are you helping me?
Chad: I'm not helping you. I just wanted to try on the beard.
Sonny: Sounds like somebody cares.
Chad: Somebody... wanted to try on a weird beard.
Tawni: Any fan of Sonny's is a fan of mine! Right?
Sonny as Eric: Not necessarily.
Episode 5.Cheater Girls
Marshall: All right. Places everyone! Places everyone! This is the final rehearsal for the Check It Out Girls sketch. And action!
Sonny: So check it out. Yesterday I got a manicure. Check it out. (shows her fingers to Tawni)
Tawni: Ooh! Check those out! Check you out!
Sonny: Yeah right?
Nico: Uh excuse me uh, could you check me out?
Sonny and Tawni: Sure!
Sonny: Check out his vest.
Tawni: His vest? Check out his boots.
Sonny: His boots? Check out his hair.
Nico: Uh, yeah I'm right here. I want you to check out my items alright?
Sonny: (scoffs) Check out your items? Check out his attitude!
Tawni: His attitude? Check out his breath.
Nico: You know what? Forget it! (leaves)
Grady: Excuse me? How about checking out my groceries?
Sonny and Tawni: Sure!
Sonny: Check out his cereal!
Tawni: Check out his tuna panini!
Grady: Alright drop the panini and give me all of your money! (points his finger in his jacket pocket)
(Sonny and Tawni just stare at him while chewing their gum.)
Sonny: Check out greedy panini guy.
Tawni: Check out his finger in his jacket.
Sonny: Check out his jacket.
Tawni: Check out my jacket! (takes out her jacket)
Sonny: Oh my gosh! Check it out, I have the same jacket! (takes out her jacket)
Grady: I'm trying to rob ya here!
Tawni: Check out Mr. Pushy!
Sonny: Check out Mr. Pushy's pants.
Tawni: His pants? Check out Mr. Pushy's-
Grady: Ugh! Forget it! (leaves)
Sonny: Check it out, he was kinda cute.
Tawni: Check you out! He was a robber!
Sonny: Not a good one!
Tawni: Right? Maybe he'll come back tomorrow.
Sonny: Ooh! And then we could recheck him out!
Sonny: Check out dance?
Tawni: Check out dance.
Tawni: Are you insulting me with geometry?
Marshal: Hello Connie, what brings you down?
Connie: Oh, rainy days, sad movies. Let's see, my daughter's math grades. We need to talk.
Sonny: Are you sure you don't want to talk about rainy days?
Marshal: You two go. It's beautiful thing, these mother daughter talks.
Connie: You too Marshal.
Marshal: It's beautiful thing, these mother, daughter, Marshal talks.
Ms. Bitterman: Don't forget you have a geometry test coming up. For everyone but Zora, that means circles ands squares.
Ms. Bitterman: So Sonny do you know why you are here?
Ms. Bitterman: Seriously I need you to tell me,honestly I don't know I'm completely lost.
Connie: Well I'll tell you why were here, Sonny can you tell me what the first letter in disappointment is? [Shows a test paper marked with a D]
Marshal: Well at least she didn't Fisappiont you. 'fisappoint' it starts with an F and that's worse than a D. Sonny you're mother asked you a question.
Tawni: The name of the sketch is 'The Check it out Girls'. I can't do it alone.
Sonny: Are you saying you need me?
Tawni: No, I'm saying I already asked Marshal and he said I can't do it alone.
Tawni: Insult me again.
Sonny: You're a rhombus!
Tawni: I'm a what?
Sonny: A parallelogram with four equals sides!
Sonny: Check it out, we still have time!
Tawni: Check it out! We're going to make it on the show!
(The door closes.)
Sonny: No! Check it out, it's closed!
Announcer: Are you ready to get So Random?!
Sonny: I've got an idea. Hurry.
Tawni: (follows Sonny but stops when she sees her picture on the door) Wait, where did that come from? (tries to wipe a smudge off her picture)
Sonny: (climbing a ladder) Come on!
Tawni: Sorry. (climbs the ladder) Move it! Move it! Move it!
(On top of the Check it Out Girls set.)
Sonny: (pushing ropes aside) Careful. Careful.
Tawni: What's with all these ropes?
(The theme music starts of the Check It Out Girls starts.)
Sonny: That's our theme music! (shaking her head to the music with Tawni) Hurry!
Tawni: (follows Sonny)
Grady: So check this out. Yesterday I got a manicure. Check it out!
Tawni: Check out our break being over!
Sonny: Check out the snake.
Tawni: No you check out the snake.
Sonny: You check out the snake.
Tawni: No you check out the snake.
Sonny: Check out neither of us checking out the snake!
Episode 6.Three's Not Company
Chad: So I, uh, guess I'll be seeing you at my party tonight?
Sonny: Yeah. As much as I'd love to come bask in the glory of your Chadness, I can't make it.
Chad: So you were the no? You were the one person I invited who's not coming? Wow. I always knew this would happen to me someday. I just really expected it to come from a Tisdale or a Montana.
Chad: (at his party) Hey, Sonny. Glad you could make it. Did you get me a gift?
Sonny: See, I didn't really have time to shop.
Chad: Yeah. Security!
Sonny: Wait. I'm here to apologize to my best friend.
Chad: Oh, that's so sweet. Security!
Lucy: Sonny there you... (gasps) Oh my Chad. It's you! It's him!
Chad: It's us. (referring to his cardboard cut out) Now if you don't mind he needs a shave.(referring to when Nico and Grady drew a beard on his cut out)
Lucy: He's even cuter than his cardboard cut out.
Episode 7.Poll'd Apart
At the prop house: [Tawni, Nico and Grady are all on their phones and Zora is on the internet.]
Sonny: You guys, come on. Get off the Internet. We have to come up with a sketch for this week's show.
[Everyone ignores her.]
Sonny: You're not even listening to me.
[Everyone still ignores her.]
Sonny: You're not even listening to me when I'm telling you you're not listening to me.
Tawni: You know what hurts the most? That you would actually have the same dress as me.
Sonny: Okay. We'll go through everything in my closet and make sure Sharona never catches us in the same outfit again. [picks up a outfit] So do you have anything like this?
Tawni: [makes a gagging face]
Sonny: Okay, this one's safe. [picks up a skort] What about these?
Sonny: It's a skort. You know, shorts in the back, skirt in the front. It's like a mullet for your butt. [smiles]
Tawni: [makes a gagging expression again]
Sonny: Okay, so what are you wearing to the Oh No You Didn't awards? [smiles]
Tawni: Shame and a strapless party dress. But mostly shame.
Sonny: Tawni, come on. Sharona's had her fun. She'll never pit us against each other again. It's over.
Zora: [opens the vent] This just in. Sharona says: "Sonny's hair is fab and Tawni's hair is drab."
Tawni: [opens her mouth in shock and turns to Sonny]
Sonny: [flips her hair] Okay now it's over.
Tawni: [looks at her cellphone with Sonny] How could Sharona compare these two photos?
Tawni: She used my picture from the Bad Hair Day sketch and yours is touched up and pretty.
Sonny: Actually that's my picture from my student ID. Didn't it turn out good?
Tawni: [crying] My clothes are ugly, my hair is ugly. My entire life is ugly! I need a tissue.
Sonny: Here, just use my skort.
Tawni: Even the things I blow my nose into are ugly!
Sonny: [enters her dressing room with sad violin music playing] Hey Tawni, are you ready to go back to rehers-AHHH! [covers her mouth in shock]
Tawni: [sitting by her mirror with no hair]
Sonny: You shaved your head.
Tawni: Actually it's a bald cap. But symbolically yes, I did shave my head.
Sonny: Sharona has driven you into wearing a bald cap?
Tawni: If I don't have the best hair, I might as well have no hair at all! [sits down]
Sonny: Well what does it say? Look she-she wrote things on the meat. [reads the meat] "Meat. Dead. You're." [realizes something] You're dead meat! She's threatening us!
Tawni: Oh no! She wrote on the sausages too! [reads the sausages] "If any of you show your faces at the Oh No You Didn'ts, I will tear you all to pieces! Sharona."
Sonny: Come on, we're not really afraid of her. Are we Tawni?
Tawni: I'm a little afraid.
Sonny: Yeah me too.
Zora: Oh no! She's thinking again!
Chad: [reading] "Thanks for the memories. Nico and Grady." Do I know a Nico and Grady?
Episode 8.Fast Friends
Sonny: (meatball sauce on her mouth) Hi mom.
Santiago Heraldo: Hold on. So nice girl from Wisconsin is tight with the Hollywood bad boy?
Sonny: Well, I wouldn't say we were--
Chad: Oh, we're very good friends.
Sonny: Actually, we can't stand each other.
Chad: And this is the kind of fun we get to have every day.
Sonny: Which apparently is starting today.
Chad: Isn't she adorable? That's why Sonny's my favorite member of So Random.
Chad: Yes, really. Santiago you are lucky to be getting this interview this girl's going places. Speaking of which I got to go.
Santiago Heraldo: You've got some dog's to shove.
Chad: Shoving dogs towards bowls of food that I lovingly lay out for them. You know why I love puppies.
Sonny: (after Chad hands her a puppy) Oh, he's so cute!
Chad: Yeah, when I saw him I thought of you.
Sonny: That's a compliment, right?
Chad: Of course.
Grady: (with meat sauce on his face) I love meatball Monday.
Tawni (walks in) Here's a Tawni tip for you. It's even tastier if some of it lands in your mouth.
Grady: Yeah, well (pointing at face) I'm saving this for later
Sonny: Can I have that seat? (girl moves)
Chad: Wow. You are workin' the diva thing.
Sonny: I'm not a diva, Chad.
Chad: I know that.
Sonny: Well, then tell Santiago. I want people to know me for who I am.
Chad: And I want people to know me for who I'm not. Look, I like you. And I'm sorry the rest of the world doesn't know the real you.
Sonny: It's your fault.
Chad: Is it, Sonny? Is it, really?
Sonny: Yes. It is. Really!
Chad: (Sonny shows up where he's building dog houses) I know what you're doing.
Sonny: Do you, Chad? Do you really?
Chad: (after Sonny busts him) Well played, Monroe.
Sonny: Props accpeted.
Chad: We should hang out sometime.
Sonny: Camera's off, Chad.
Chad: I know. (they smile at each other)
Episode 9.Sonny With a Chance of Dating
Sonny: Well at least there is some variety. (sees someone with a taco) That looks tasty. (looks up and sees a cute guy) That looks really tasty! I meant the food on your plate.
Sonny: The teapot has a name. It's Sonny.
James: Yes you are. What's your name?
James: Yes I am.
[Sonny gets a huge smile]
James: You can call me James.
Chad: [to James] Anyway they're shooting our scene we should probably go.
Sonny [to James] Oh, you're on Mackenzie Falls this week? Let me guess, stuck up Mackenzie being chased by bad boy bank robber.
Chad: Let me guess, Life of the Boston Tea Party.
Sonny: Well, at least my show brings joy to the viewers.
Chad: At least my show has viewers.
James: Wow. What's goin' on here?
Sonny: It's beyond nothing.
Chad: It's certainly nothing to be late over. Our scene's up first after lunch. Sonny.
Sonny: Chad. (Chad walks away)
James: You know, for something you said was nothing, that sure seemed like something.
Sonny: Oh, well, you know, it's a day-to-day something. Sometimes hour-by-hour. I don't know, it's complicated. He's complicated.
James: Well, I'm not. My name's James Conroy, and I'd like to take you out tonight.
Sonny: Well, there's nothing complicated about that.
James: So I can take that as a yes?
Sonny: You can take that as a maybe.
Tawni: [Puts a scarf on the neck] Beyoncé. [Puts a scarf on the forhead] Tyra. And a pirate! Arrr!
[Sonny comes in and sighs]
Tawni: What are you all sighed about?
Sonny: Oh, was I sighing? Sorry.
[Then Sonny starts humming]
Tawni: Ah! Now you're humming!
Sonny: Was I humming? Sorry again.
Tawni: Ok, that's not just sighing and humming. That's boy sighing and humming! Who asked you out?
Sonny: Well I'm not gonna brag but... JAMES CONROY!
Tawni: James Conroy?
Sonny: Because why?
Tawni: Because, my best friend dated him and he dumped her. It wasn't pretty. Her face broke out and she started using poly extra pants.
Sonny: Look, I doubt anything is gonna happen between James and me.
Tawni: Let me guess. He asked you out and you said no?
Tawni: That's how it starts. You say no and he turns on the charm!
Man: Sonny Munroe, bouquet of flowers for you at the front desk.
Tawni: And here comes the charm!
(Tawni and Sonny have the bouquet)
Sonny: Wow! (Sonny reads a card) "Hi teapot." Ow. "It was nice meeting you. Any chances we can go out tonight? Your bad boy, James." You know, maybe is not such a jerk after all.
Tawni: Oh right. Maybe I'm ugly. Use your brain!
Sonny: Look, I appreciate th warning, but maybe your friend and James didn't had chemistry.
(Sonny's phone rings and she answers)
Sonny: Chad? What do you want Chad?
James: It's James.
Sonny: [To Tawni] It's James.
Tawni: Hang up.
Sonny: Hey James. How's it going? I loved the flowers! They're so beautiful.
James: It was my pleasure.
(Chad sees James with his phone)
Chad: Dude, is that my phone?
James: Oh, yeah it is. Thanks. (To Sonny) I gotta make this fast. Do you wanna go out tonight?
Tawni: No no no.
Sonny: I'd love to.
James: You hang up first.
Sonny: No you hang up.
Tawni: I'll hang up!
(Twani hangs up the phone)
Tawni: Fine, don't listen to me. But when you're heart is broken into a milion pieces and spread all over the floor, just remember. Tawni Hart doesn't vacuem.
Tawni: Where's your idiot friend?
Chad: Bart! [Bart comes out]
Tawni: Not that idiot. James. Yeah, the one who's going out with Sonny tonight.
Chad: I'm sorry, what?
Tawni: James, Sonny, date, tonight.
Chad: Date? Sonny? Tonight? James?
Tawni: So where is he?
Chad: Right now he's breaking into the first bank of MacKenzie Falls. [sirens go]
James: [Off camera] Give me all your money!
Tawni: What is your show even about?
Chad: Oh, this week's our Christmas episode. Yeah, in the end he realizes he had a wonderful life.
Tawni: Look, just tell James to back off of Sonny.
Chad: Why do you want him to back off Sonny?
Tawni: Why are you wearing a bib?
Tawni: I have my own bib!
Chad: Not of the bib, of Sonny! What...?
Tawni: No. I'm trying to protect her. Why do you want him to back off Sonny?
Chad: I... never said I did.
Tawni: Oh, your lips say I don't care, but your eyes say I do care! So, you just tell your friend to back off from Tawni Hart! ...Well not back off from me, back off from me, Tawni Hart!
(James and Sonny are looking at the menu)
Sonny: So, what looks good?
Tawni: Sorry I'm late!
Tawni: James. So, what did I missed?
Sonny: An invitation. What are you doing here?
Tawni: I like chicken fingers and skiball.
Chad: Uh, sorry I'm late. What did I missed?
James: Tawni likes chicken fingers and skiball! What are you doing here?
Chad: Can't be hanging out with a bro? (looks at Tawnie) So what are you doing here?
Tawni: What are YOU doing here?
James: (to Sonny) What are they doing here?
Sonny: What are we still doing here?
Sonny: Do you really think I would kiss you?
Chad: Well that's what I'm gonna put on my blog. (Rolls across arcade floor) Peace out suckas! Blahaa!
James Conroy: [Tawni and Sonny are fighting about James] Oh, she is so cute when she's angry!
Chad: Sonny's always cute. She can't do anything without it being cute. Stupid cute!
James: No dude! I'm talking about TAWNI!
Sonny: Quick! Hold my hand! [grabs Chad's hand]
Chad: Don't tell me what to do!
Sonny: We're on a fake date. We have to make it look believable.
Chad: Well, if you wanna hold hands you have to switch sides.
Chad: 'Cause this is my holding hand. [holds up other hand]
Sonny: Fine. And just so you know, this is our first and last fake date.
Sonny: Good! Now smile like you're having the time of your life. [walk over to their table with huge smiles]
James: [To Tawni] You know I was surprised when you said yes.
Tawni: Well, you texted you called. You just don't let a girl say no, do you bad boy?
James: No. [Notices Sonny and Chad flirting with each other] You've got to be kidding me! She's already on a date? Man, she works fast!
Tawni: Let's not talk about Sonny and how she's completely over you. Let's talk about... Me! And how much I'm into you! I like us!
'Tawni: Lookie! I just changed my online status to 're dating James Conroy'. And I got into your account and changed your status to 'Crazy for Tawni Heart!'
Sonny: [James and Tawni look at them] They're looking this way. Put your arm around me.
Chad: Well, I would, but you sat on the wrong side. This arm says let's cuddle, and this arm says 'Hey, good game bro!'
Sonny: Well, I'm saying just put one of them around me. (Chad puts his arm around Sonny)
Chad: Oh, you should probably put your head on my shoulder.
Sonny: Okay. (puts her head on Chad's shoulder) This is nice... in theory.
Chad: We, uh ... make a good couple. Hypothetically.
'Tawni: You know what I want? Potato skins. And to go to Paris with you in the spring!
James: That's four months from now, who knows what I- I mean we- I mean you- Will be doing by then? [starts texting and looks up at Sonny]
[Grady and Nico enter]
Grady: There she is.
Nico: Granted it won't be as good as the froyo, but a mushy is a close second.
Grady: It won't be as creamy, but at least I'll still be able to feel the frozen goodness. [They walk over to the Mushy machine]
[Nico notices Sonny and Chad flirting with each other]
Nico: Check that out...
Grady: [still talking about the mushy machine] I see it. I could almost taste it.
Nico: Not that! Over there. Sonny and Chad...
Grady: What? Woah!
Sonny: Ha! I just got a text! From... You?
Chad: What? That jerk still has my phone?
Sonny: And he already wants me back!
Chad: [disappointed] Already...
[Niko and Grady join Sonny And Chad at their table]
Niko: Well, well well.
Grady: You guys on a date?
Grady: Then why didn't you ask one of us to be your fake date?
Nico: Obviously, she doesn't think we're good enough to be her fake date.
Grady: Either one of us would've made a much better fake date than Chip Drama-pants over here.
Chad: I don't think so.
Nico: Wooooooww Chip!
Sonny: Alright, can we talk about this later?
Nico: Fine. But just so you know, I've been in 3, 4, 5 fake relationships, so I could've helped you with your little fake date.
James: Oh, so this is a fake date.
Sonny: No! This is real. As real as can be.
Grady: So you're lying to us.
James: So you're lying to me?
Sonny: No! Would I do this if I were on a fake date? [Puts her hand over Chad's mouth and kisses him]
Chad: So...are you having fun on your date?
James: I was! Until it was rudely interrupted! (referring to Chad)
Chad: I know! Tawni's a piece of work right?
Episode 10.Sonny and the Studio Brat
Sonny: And 3 mini muffins for the little girl from "Children having a Dream" foundation.
Tawni: (holding up a magazine with the "Mackenzie Falls" cast) Three pictures of "Mackenzie Falls" and no Tawni. (flipping the pages) No Tawni, no Tawni. NO TAWNI! (closes the magazine)
Sonny: Bananas. If the girl is needed, I'm sure she'll "needed" some potassium. Hahaha.
(Tawni tries to take a banana, but Sonny hits her in the arm)
Sonny: Hey. They're not for you! They're for Dakota. The underprivileged girl is gonna spend a dream day at "So Random".
Tawni: I'm underprivileged.
Sonny: You're underphotographed not underprivileged.
Tawni: Underphotographed is much worse. Do I get a muffin basket? No!
Sonny: Let's focus on what's important here. As the embassador of fun, I promised her the best day ever.
Tawni: Who nominated you as the embassador of fun?
Sonny: Well, I did. I even have a hat. (Sonny puts on a hat) Embassador of fun. (pointing to the hat)
Tawni: Oww, is this the little darling from the children's foundation?
(Zora opens her sarcophagus)
Zora: Ow. EVIL.
Sonny: Zora, she is not evil. She might have anger issues, but mostly she's...
Tawni: Because you got stuck with Sonny? Friend, I know how you feel.
Dakota: No! I'm disappointed that none of you is Chad Dylan Cooper!
"So Random" cast: Ahhh!
Grady: Well, ahaha, according to the world wibe web, we are much cooler that Chad Dylan!
Dakota: Hahaha. This isn't it about cool! It's about HOT! Chad Dylan Cooper is HOT!!! Get out of my way, old ladie! (pushes Tawni away)
Dakota: My daddy thinks I'm and angle.
Zora: Obviously he doesn't has a very good sense of direction.
Tawni: [holding up magazine showing MacKenzie Falls cast in cool places] And who do you see there? And there, and there, and there! [flipping through magazine]
Grady: Chad Dylan Cooper, and the cast of MacKenzie Falls.
Nico: Yeah, she's right we need to be seen in cool places.
Tawni: Yes, that's why we're going to a place so cool, so exclusive, so underground, it doesn't even exist.
Grady: We're going to Narnia?
[Later - The Basement - Tawni dancing]
Grady: [holding a sword] This isn't Narnia!
Zora: [scooting past Chad and Dakota] Evil!
Chad: (Chad's voicemail) Hey you've reached Chad Dylan Cooper. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, because if you were important enough, you'd have the number to my phone I answer!
Sonny: Let's go get some ice-cream
(Dakota roll's her eyes)
Chad: (scared) Oh Daddy?
Sonny: Daddy, there's your funny little punchline! Boy is he gonna be mad at you for yelling at his daughter!
Mr. Condor: Sonny, you brought my precious angel to a Hollywood club?
(Sonny and Chad start backing away)
Chad: Looks like he's mad at you.
Mr. Condor: Oh no, he's mad at you too!
Sonny: Actually Mr. Condor, it's a really funny story!
Chad: Trust me it's really not that funny.
Episode 11.Promises, Prom-misses
Chad: Whoa, watch it.
Sonny: Chad? Oh my gosh what happened? (refers to Chad's black eye)
Chad: Oh, I just got in a huge fight over at the Falls.
Sonny: (nods) They don't like you either?
Chad: Funny. No we were shooting a scene. I know it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad huh? (Sonny looks down) Normally that would've charmed you. What's up with you?
Sonny: Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back home and I just got some pictures from my best friend.
Chad: Oh pshht. You're not missing much! I've been to a bunch of proms and they have all ended in disaster.
Sonny: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that.
Chad: Yeah, episode 10, my hair caught on fire. Last year's season finale, my date turns out to be my long lost sister...
Sonny: What? Chad those are fake proms.
Chad: Fake proms, real proms they all stink.
Sonny: No they don't! They're romantic! You know a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and sharing that perfect dance with a very special guy.
Chad: And then he gets hit in the head by a faulty disco ball, episode 16!
Sonny: You know what Chad? you wouldn't know real romance if it punched you in the face. In fact you wouldn't know a real punch in the face if it punched you in the face, because there is nothing real about you.
Chad: Well here's something real for you, I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you.
Sonny: Good! Cause I really don't wanna stand here and talk to you!
Chad: Good! (Sonny and Chad turn and walk different directions) (Chads phone rings) Hello?
(Chad's phone rings)
Chad: Hello (Sonny on the phone)
(On the prop house)
Sonny: (Chad on the phone) Good!
Sonny: Good and goodbye!
(Sonny hangs up)
Sonny: (to the cast) Chad says "hi".
Tawni: What did he really said?
Sonny: Well, he said that all proms stink! They don't stink. You guys know that. (The cast looks confused) Oh my gosh, you don't know that! You've never been to a prom?
Tawni: I've been working since my first diaper commercial.
Zora: I'm eleven.
Nico: I was on the road doing my one man show.
Sonny: Well, we're gonna change all that. Because I'm thinking we can have our own prom!
Grady: You mean a prom sketch?
Sonny: No. Like a real prom. Dancing and twinkling lights and a really cool theme!
Sonny: That's not a theme, Nico.
Nico: I know. I was just thinking about girls.
Sonny: And I'm thinking we have a really cool theme! Something fantastice, something magical, something we've all dreamed about.
Tawni: "Tawni Town"!
--- (Sonny's phone rings)
Sonny: (Chad on the phone) Hello.
(Sonny hangs up furious)
Sonny: Well, Chad, you were right. All proms end in disaster.
Chad: Do they Sonny? Do they really? 'Cause sometimes I heard, you get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.
[Chad and Sonny start dancing]
Sonny: [giggles] This is sweet!
Chad: I have my moments.
Sonny: You're gonna press play?
Chad: Oh right, sorry!
--- (At the prop house)
Nico: You had to ask Marshall.
Zora: Always gotta do everything by the book.
Sonny: Oh yeah? Is that what you think? (the cast waves "yes") Is that what you all think? (The cast says "yes") Well, I, just checked out a new book. And it's called "We're having a secret prom= by Sonny Munroe!
Nico: Are you suggesting...
Sonny: That's right. A secret prom.
Tawni: A secret prom?
Zora: A secret prom?
Nico: A secret prom?
Grady: A secr...
Sonny: Ok, I think we've said enough times.
Chad: Oh, hey Sonny.
Sonny: Sorry Chad, can't talk, I'm in a hurry.
Chad: Oh right, right that whole secret prom, [Sonny turns around] They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with fliers that read 'Secret Prom!'
Sonny: Aren't you exited? I'm even exited about how exited I am!
Chad: Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls...mostly we just think it's dumb?
Sonny: Well, if you think it's so dumb, then maybe you and your little snobby friends at Mackenzie Falls shouldn't come.
Chad: Well maybe we won't.
Sonny: Good! 'Cause your officially uninvited.
Chad: Good 'Cause we officially wouldn't have come anyway.
Sonny: You're only saying that cause I just uninvited you.
Chad: You only uninvited me because I just said I didn't wanna come.
Sonny: Are we done here?
Chad: Oh we're beyond done.
Sonny: So we're good?
Chad: Oh we're so good.
Tawni: Hey Sonny. You're not suddenly interested on being prom queen. Right?
Tawni: Ok, then. You look really pretty.
(Sonny does a big smile)
Sonny: Well, Chad, you were right. All proms end in disaster.
Chad: Do they Sonny? Do they really? 'Cause sometimes I heard, you get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person. [takes out headphones] You're just going to have to settle for me.
[Chad and Sonny start dancing]
Sonny: [giggles] This is sweet!
Chad: I have my moments.
Sonny: You're gonna press play?
Chad: Oh right, sorry!
Episode 12.The Heartbreak Kids
Chad: Then you and me are going to have to go to Lookout Mountain.
Sonny: I'm not going to Lookout Mountain with you. That's a date place.
Chad: Do you want them broken up?
Chad: Pick you up at eight. (winks at Sonny)
Sonny: How it this suppose to break up Bitterman and Marshall?
Chad: It's all in the script.
Sonny: What script?!
Chad: (takes out Mackenzie falls script) Episode 319 of Mackenzie Falls! Bigfoot gets the girl, it's a classic!
Sonny: (takes script away from Chad) Oh my gosh! This is your plan? This isn't real! This is a show!
Chad: Sonny, sometimes life imitates art! Okay? And this piece of art happens to be about a couple who takes a drive up Lookout Mountain for a romantic evening...
Nico: Yeah, and then Bigfoot comes out the woods and scares them!
Chad: Yeah, and the guy gets so freaked out, he runs away.
Sonny: And that gets the girl to break up with him...
Sonny: Oh my gosh...THAT IS THE WORST PLAN I'VE EVER HEARD FROM THE WORST SHOW I'VE NEVER SEEN! (Chad looks insulted)
Chad: Well, here come the lovebirds, so unless you like the chewy tastes of worms...
Sonny: Nico, put your head back on!
Sonny': With this. (holds up a salt shaker)
Grady: A magic salt shaker?
Sonny: If anyone gets caught eat the instructions! Got any questions? (Grady raises his hand) Yes Grady?
Grady: What happens if I've already eaten lunch? I'm kinda full. Do I still have to eat the instructions?
Grady: Well can you put the instructions on cake?
Sonny: No! NOW GO! GO! GO!
(Nico and Grady march out the room)
Sonny:(to Tawni) You wanna go get some cake?
Tawni: Ooh...and cookies.
Sonny: I can't just come between love.
Tawni: I don't want you to come between it, I want you to crush it!
Episode 13.Battle of the Network Stars
Sonny: Guys I have a confession to make. I asked for a cup of water but I filled it up with soda. (sees that it's not Nico, Grady and Tawni) And you're not Nico, Grady or Tawni. (laughs nervously) I was-I was kidding about the soda. (goes to another table when she think she sees the real Grady) Guys the weirdest thing just happened to me and it's happening again! (sees more Nico, Grady and Tawni lookalikes) Oh no. It's that dream where I end up on t.v. wearing nothing but a hat. (checks if she's in a dream)
Grady: (walks in the cafeteria with Nico) (referring to someone that looks like Nico) What is up Nico? My man, my man! You were great in that Gassie sketch. Just funny.
Nico: I'm standing right next you.
Grady: No you're not. You're right there standing next to me. (sees two people that look like them then gasps) Dude, this means our time machine has worked!
Nico: That wasn't a time machine! It was a clock! And that ain't you! And those aren't Sonnies! And those aren't-
Tawni: (gasps) Then who the heck are you people?
Nico: Now that's definitely Tawni.
Grady: That's Tawni.
Nico: What is going on in here? (sees the real Sonny) Uh Sonny are we in your stupid hat dream?
Sonny: I have no idea what's going on.
Sonny: Chad what is all this and I should've known you were behind it.Why are you all dressed up like a paper boy?
Chad: I'm casting a TV movie about my life. "Chad Dylan Cooper: the Chad Dylan Cooper's story, Chad Dylan Cooper production.
Chad: Hi, you must be Sonny, I'm Chad.
Sonny: (reading the script) Oh my gosh! You're Chad Dylan Cooper! Possibly the greatest actor of our generation! (stops reading) Are you kidding me with this?
Chad: Sonny, I'm giving you a chance here, okay? Just read the lines. Let's just jump to the part where Sonny punches my costar. AND ACTION!
Sonny: I never punched your costar.
Chad: (singsong) Diva!
Sonny: Are you kidding me? I'm so not a diva!
Chad: Really, Sonny? Really?
Sonny: You know what? This is ridiculous. I'm out of here.
: Good! And good luck trying to find a better me than me. Because nobody knows me the way that I know me. (opens the door and sees Selena Gomez)
Sonny: (shocked) Oh my gosh! Selena Gomez!
Sonny: Can I get your autograph? Here, sign this lousy script.
Selena: (walks past Sonny) Hey Chad. I got your text. And yes, I'll play the part of Sonny.
Sonny: (shocked) What?!
Selena: Personally I think the character's kind of dull but I'll liven her up. (turns to Sonny) And you are?
Sonny: The dull girl that you need to liven up.
Chad: (speaks through the megaphone) Awkward.
Sonny: (walking to table with snacks with Selena following her) Can I help you?
Selena: No, no. Carry on.
(Sonny picks up a cup and Selena picks up a cup then Sonny puts the cup down and so does Selena. Sonny and Selena then pick up a snack and throw it behind them and Selena's snack hits a guy. The guy runs off scared. Sonny does a dance and Selena just stares at her.)
Selena: (into tape recorder) Not a very good dancer.
Sonny: What are you doing and why are you saying things about me into a recorder?
Selena: Well if I'm going to play you I want to play you honestly and realistically. (into tape recorder) Flat hair.
Sonny: My hair is not flat!
Selena: (into tape recorder) Defensive about hair.
Sonny: Would you stop?
Selena: Look, I'm sorry. It's just that I really like to get into my characters.
Sonny: Oh, I know how you feel. One time I played a dog in a sketch. I got so into my character (laughs) I dug a hole in the backyard.
Sonny: And then I ate my homework. Oh then I bit the mailman!
Sonny: Well, if someone has to play me I'm glad it's Selena Gomez.
Selena: Aww, thank you.
Sonny: If there's anything you want to know about me, just ask.
Selena: I just want to know...are you mad at me because I got the part and you didn't?
Sonny: What? (high pitched) Girl, no. No.
Selena: (into tape recorder) Voice gets high when in denial.
Sonny: (high pitched) I am not- (low pitched) I am not in denial. Look you don't know Chad. It's just...this is so typical of him. He just wants to push my buttons.
Selena: (into tape recorder) Has buttons.
Selena: Okay, now we're about to do the scene when you barge in the set of MacKenzie Falls. Now when this happened, do you remember how you felt?
Sonny: Probably mad because I'm always mad when I have to go see Chad.
Selena: Right, but clearly you're mad at yourself because of how much you like him.
Sonny: Right...WHAT?! I don't like Chad! (low pitched) I mean, I don't like Chad.
Selena: (shows Sonny the script) Sure you do. It's right here in the script.
Sonny: What?! Give me that! (takes the script and reads it) All it says is, "Fine! Fine! Good! Good! Fine! Fine!"
Selena: It's not what the lines say. It's what's between the lines.
Sonny: (scoffs) There is nothing between those lines. Trust me.
Selena: (holding her tape recorder)
Sonny: (takes the tape recorder) Now hear this. I'm not indenial. Which, I know sounds like I'm indenial but I'm not. So.....we're good. (gives the tape recorder back)
Chad: (walks in and talks through megaphone) Okay people. Here we go. Chad Dylan Cooper: The Chad Dylan Cooper Story. Sonny Barges in Mackenzie Falls Set: Take 1. (to Selena) Ms. Gomez, on your mark if you please.
Selena: (gets ready to do the scene)
Chad: Thank you. (to Sonny in megaphone) No extras on set.
Sonny: (leaves the set)
Chad: Okay people. I want to see real energy and real emotion. And ACTION! (gives his megaphone, scarf and beret to Bart and prepares for the scene) Look Portlyn, summer's almost over and once the falls come back to the Falls I need to be free. Shh. Time for talking is over.
Selena: (walks on set) What's the matter with you?!
Chad: What's the matter with me?! What's the matter with.....Wait those words didn't come out of your mouth.
Selena: You've got great legs Portlyn. Let's see how they move. (punches Portlyn and Portlyn falls on a chair)
Sonny: Hey! I never punched-
Bart: (to Sonny) Shhhh!
Chad: What do you think you're doing? You can't just barge in here and interrupt Chad Dylan Cooper when he's in the middle of making MacKenzie Falls magic.
Selena: I think I made my point.
Selena: Fine. (jumps on Chad)
Chad: Goo-. Whoa.
Sonny: (shocked and takes the megaphone) Cut! Cut! Cut it out!
Sonny: I can't believe you kissed Chad! Where in the script does it say that 'Sonny kisses Chad?'
Selena: It's not in the script. I told you, I wanted to play your character honestly.
Sonny: (laughs) And you think that I would kiss him?
Selena: Yes I do.
Sonny: Well, I would never kiss him.
Selena: In that scene?
Sonny: No! Not anywhere! Not in a scene, not in a dream. Not in car. Not near, not far, not here, not there, not anywhere- I'm rhyming aren't I? See, I do that when I don't want to kiss someone.
Selena: Really, Sonny, really?
Sonny: Now you sound like Chad!
Selena: Huh, well that line is in the script. Page eighteen, twenty two and twice on thirty nine.
Sonny: He does say that a lot. (both Sonny and Selena laugh)
Selena: Well maybe it's because he has the same issues as you do.
Sonny: Wha-? Pfft! What are you? Some kind of expert on how people feel about each other? Some sort of relationship...wh-what's the word? [gasps] WIZARD! YES! You like to sprinkle your wizardy relationship dust over people who you think you know, but you don't! No, you don't! So you know what I say? I say good day wizard! [walks away then comes back] I say good day!
Selena: [into recorder] Thinks I'm actually wizard.
Sonny: (wearing a wizard costume) Abracadabra!
Selena: Oh what is this now?
Sonny: Well how do you like me playing you? Look at me, I'm Selena Gomez! I'm the relationship wizard! I know everything! Edgbono eutusis!
Selena: Check it out! I'm Sonny from Wisconsin! I'm just an exploding ball of sunshine! Check it out! Check it out!
Sonny: Look at me! I'm Selena! I went to acting school so I could learn how to do this! Cashmerious appearous! [waves invisible wand in Selena's face] Yeah! It's an invisible wand!
Selena: Well look at me! I'm Sonny and I'm ticking off the person who's playing me in a movie, and maybe I shouldn't because she can make me look really bad!
Sonny: Well look at me, I'm Selena and, I'd never do that to Sonny girl!
Chad: (to Selena) Hey Selena. (looks at Sonny) Hey Scary Potter.
Chad: Don't mind me ladies. I'm just here to get a fresh beret and recharge my microphone. (switches berets and gets a new megaphone) [into megaphone] See ya on set. (leaves)
Selena: I don't know what you see in that guy.
Sonny: Are you kidding me? I don't see anything in that guy and I wish you would stop insisting that I do.
Selena: Well if you think I'm playing it wrong then maybe you should just show me.
Sonny: Fine, I will.
Selena: Fine, you're hired.
Sonny: Fine! Great! Now we're doing it! (leaves)
[Nico and Grady walk into the prophouse and find their lookalikes are gone.]
Nico: Hey, where'd we go? (Tawni walks in)
Tawni: I forgot something.
Grady: Wha-[Tawni slaps him and walks out]
Nico: Oh, you're gonna need some ice for that.
Grady: What did I do?
Chad: Oh Sonny, try to stop yourself from falling in love with me, I beg you.
Sonny: [rolls her eyes]
Selena: I'm just a small town girl with a big town dream, and meeting you was the biggest dream of all.
Sonny: Okay, CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT!
Chad: Again! Really?
Selena: It's okay Chad. She's helping me out.
Sonny: Okay now Selena, remember your biggest dream is to be on So Random! Chad is just a monster who wakes you up! (glares at Chad) Oh and remember that you hate him! You just really, really hate him! [Chad glares at Sonny] Action. [walks off set]
Sonny: Oh and one more thing! He is the worst actor of our generation!
Chad: BART![Bart comes out and gives Chad a megaphone] CUT! CUT! Stop the lying!
Sonny: You stop the lying!
Chad: You stop the lying!
Selena: STOP! STOP BEING- STOP, JUST STOP IT!
(Chad and Sonny stop.)
Selena: Gosh I was wrong! You too should never be together!
Sonny: Finally! I've been trying to tell her that all day!
Chad: You've been trying to tell her that? I've been trying to tell her that too!
Sonny: Well I told her first. She thinks she some relationship wizard.
Chad: Yeah with her wizardly magic beans. Look if I want to like you [through megaphone] then I will.
Sonny: Yeah and if I want to like you then [through megaphone] I will.
Chad: If I want to think you have pretty hair then I will.
Sonny: And if I want to think you have sparkly eyes then I will.
Chad: [In Megaphone] Yes so take that Selena!
Sonny: [In Megaphone] In your face Gomez! (bumps her fist with Chad's)
Selena: Wow. You guys got me. There's nothing going on around here at all! [Through megaphone] YOU TWO
ARE...PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER! I'M OUT OF HERE!
Chad: Wait, wait! So you're leaving my movie?
Selena: Heh, I don't need this! I was in Camp Hiphop! [walks away]
Sonny: Okay, bye Selena! It was nice working with you! Awww, she seems nice. I should call her.
Chad: Why? You're gonna become BFFs with Selena Gomez?
Sonny: Pfft... It could happen! So... do you really think I have pretty hair?
Chad: I dunno... Do you really think I have sparkly eyes?
Sonny: I dunno... Well one of them is.
Chad: So...you wanna be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny.
Chad: Fine. I’ll set you up an audition. Nine o’clock?
Sonny: Really, Chad? Really?
Chad: (into the megaphone, quickly) Fine. You got the part.
Chad: Hey, hey. My movie's on. Aren't you going to watch it?
Sonny: Shh, there's something better on.
: We now return to Camp Hip-Hop starring Selena Gomez.
Selena: :[On TV] Hey, Mom. How do you know I can't dance? You gotta see my moves.
[Hip-Hop Music Plays]
Selena: :[On TV] You've got to send me to Camp Hip-Hop. It's my dream.
Chad: Oh, this is better than my movie.
Chad: Tawni, you've been celebrity practical joked sucker!
(picking up phone)
Chad: Hey Sonny what's the dilly?
Sonny: The 'dilly' is Nico and Grady are stuck in a net. Everyone says there in cahoots. You win; I'm tired with this paranoia. Just prank me and get it over with.
Chad: Sorry, Sonny I'm already doing a prank. It's called Tawni's fake audition. It was actually inspired by your audition. I guess that makes you Chad's little helper.
Tawni: I'm Fashonita! That was perfect.
Chad: (laughing) Thanks for the idea Sonny.
Chad: Maple syrup? Really? Maple syrup?
Sonny: Chad, I'm sorry after you did something nice just to be nice..
Chad: I know! Syruped and feathered my friend, but don't worry. I'm planning on returning the favor.
Grady: With some flowers?
Chad: With a prank? And whatever I'm doing now is gonna be a hundred times worse than I planned to do before.
Nico: What did you plan to do before?
Chad: Well whatever it was, it was hundred times less worse than what I'm gonna do to you now!
Tawni: Stop scaring us with math!
(Tawni, Grady and Nico walk past Chad)
Chad: (confused) Randoms.
Chad: OK please, not again.
Tawni: [Singing] I'm a little Teapot, Short and Stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout!
Episode 15.Tales From The Prop House
Nico: E-e-e-easy G.
Grady: You know what would make this easier? If you would stop saying "E-e-e-e-e-e-easy G."
Sonny: Hey. You guys made a house of cards.
Tawni: No you're saying it wrong. It's (says it dully) "Wow you guys made a house of cards."
Nico: It's not a house, it's a fortress.
(The building starts shaking.)
Zora: Earthquake! Take cover!
Grady: Everybody! Into the fortress! (jumps on the fortress of cards)
Nico: (falls on Grady's back)
Zora: (hides under a table) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
(Everybody scrambles to find a place to hide. Sonny takes out her cellphone and starts to record a video.)
Sonny: It's my first Los Angeles earthquake! Which is exciting and TERRIFYING! This is me screaming in terror! (screams) And this is me getting under the table which is what you're suppose to do! EARTHQUAKE!!!!!
(Everybody screams. Tawni hides in the photo booth. Grady hangs on to a cactus. Nico hides in the sarcophagus. Zora laughs and claps her hands.)
Sonny: (whimpers) Help
(Marshall walks in calmly.)
Marshall: Calm down. Calm down everyone. It wasn't a quake. The studio is just doing some construction.
Sonny: AHHH! CONSTRUCTION!!! just kidding just kidding
(Everyone walks out of their hiding spots.)
Tawni: Finally! They're making some improvements around here. I guess somebody read the note I put in the demand box.
Sonny: You mean the suggestion box?
Nico: Yes! They're building a weight room!
Grady: Even better! They're building a bait and tackle shop! Now I don't have to go downtown for my worms!
Marshall: Not even close. Anybody else wanna guess?
Zora: A guillotine!
Marshall: Ahhh. Even warmer!
Sonny: Okay if a guillotine is closer then I don't want to guess anymore.
Marshall: Okay okay! I'll tell ya! They're kicking you out of the prophouse!
So Random Cast: WHAT?!?!
Marshall: You see, I took a horrible situation and turned it into a fun little game!
Sonny: No! You didn't! You took something horrible and took forever to tell it!
Marshall: You're right. Look I'll make this next part quick and I won't sing it to you like I planed,You have 24 hours to pack up your things and leave
Sonny: I can't believe you're telling us this
Sonny: (on phone) Chad can we discuss this like real people? Really? He said he's on his way back.
Chad: (bursts in on forklift)
Chad: So what do you wanna discuss?
Sonny: Okay guys if we can be half as annoying as Zora was in that sketch We will be back in the Prop House in no time okay Prop House on three Cast: (Puts hands in the middle) 1 2 3 Prop House!
Sonny: Oh. It's a picture...of you.
Chad: Yeah but look how its signed.
Sonny: 'To my biggest fan: I'm sorry T.V.'s Chad Dylan Cooper' Aww. I'm touched! That's so sweet Chad! What did you get for Nico and Grady?
Chad: Oh that's easy. I let them take a ride on the forklift.
(Tawni and Sonny stand up.)
Sonny: You did WHAT on the WHO NOW?
(A vehicle starts approaching. Chad, Tawni and Sonny scream and run as a forklift crashes through the wall again. Nico and Grady appear inside and laugh but stops.)
Nico: oh man, This ain't MacKenzie Falls.
Grady: Who cares We just knocked down a whole wall Sunday Sunday
Episode 16.Sonny's In The Kitchen With Dinner
Chad: (pointing to a magazine with Sonny and Hayden kissing on the cover) Who is this guy?!
Tawni: The love of my life!
Chad: (voice high)THEN WHY IS SHE KISSING HIM?!
Tawni: I DON'T KNOW!
Sonny: I told you it was the kiss cam!
Sonny: IT WAS THE KISS CAM!
(Sonny and Tawni when Hayden walks over.)
Sonny: Well, you know what, that's okay coz he's on his way over.
Tawni: What do you think he wants?!
Sonny: (laughs) I don't know, but, just pretend he's a regular guy on the street!
Tawni: Guy on the street, guy on the street, guy on the-
Hayden: Hey Tawni!
Tawni: Don't touch my purse!
Hayden: Okay...Hey Sonny! (Sonny smiles awkwardly)
Sonny: Maybe I should handle this! I'll figure out a way to get you guys together, okay?
Tawni: Okay. (Sonny walks out of the room) Watch your purse!
(Sonny drops her phone into the sink and Tawni turns on the garbage disposal, causing Sonny's phone to dial Chad.)
Chad: (answering phone) Let me hear you say HEEEEEEEYYYYY!
Sonny: (on phone) No! That's my phone! (the garbage disposal can be heard in the background)
(Chad bursts into Sonny's apartment)
Tawni: Don't touch my purse!
Hayden: Chad Dylan Cooper! This is awesome. What are you doing here?
Chad: I got a weird call from Sonny's cell. I heard screaming and crushing metal, so I cut my massage to an hour and rushed right over!
Sonny: Uh, you got some Chad on your shirt.
(takes a piece of lettuce off Chad's shirt)
Chad: Oh thanks! (Sonny nods) Bib me!
Sonny: (flirtatiously) So...Chad! (giggles) I-I need a favor.
(Chad looks at her skeptically) Listen, I'm helping Tawni out and we need your court side seats for the Lakers game! (smiles)
Chad: You mean (takes out tickets) these?
Sonny: Thanks Chad! (reaches for tickets)
Chad: Ah. (moves tickets out of Sonny's reach)Not so fast. I have these tickets because?
Sonny: (smiles) You're the star of Mackenzie Falls, the number one tween show.
Chad: Oh! That's worth one! (hands her one) (Sonny nods)
Sonny: and.. you have the best tasting sandwich in the whole cafeteria!
Chad: (fake gasps) Here's number two. (gives her the second ticket) You wanna go for three?
Chad: Oooh, say it!
Sonny: I won't. (Chad waves ticket is Sonny's face)
Chad: Say it.
Sonny: (muffled) You're..the greatest actor of our gener-ation....
Chad: (hands her the third ticket) Enjoy the game. (Sonny smiles at him)
Episode 17. Guess who coming to guest Star
Sonny: Oh, hey Chad.
Chad: When's the party starting?
Sonny: This is it.
Chad:(confused) These look like the people who usually WORK at Mackenzie Falls parties.
Sonny: (Bumps in the wall and the chair lights up) Yeah, it lights up! It's a cool chair.(rolls away on
Chad: (to Sonny) By the end of the week, you're going to fall in love with me.
Sonny: (in her dream) (knock at door)
Chad: knock, knock
Chad: Sonny, hey look what I've got for our rehearsal.Two tubes of lip balm? One for my upper and one for my lower.
Sonny: (glares at him)
Chad: Will you relax? I was just goofing around. Look, I really want to do a good job.
Chad: Yeah. So look, let's take it from the part when the Hot EMT comes in... that's me ha... and says 'tell me where it hurts.'
Sonny: (stares into Chad's eyes) Wow Chad. You were right. I am getting lost in your eyes. This feels like a dream.
(both lean closer to kiss)
Sonny: (wakes up) I am dreaming. Oh my gosh! It was just like he said! (knock at door)
Chad: Wanna run lines... got two tubes of lip balm. One for my upper and one for my...
Sonny: NOOO!!! (slams door in his face)
Chad: Ow... my lower!
Sonny: Tawni, you know I'm doing the sketch with Chad.
(Tawni bursts out laughing)
Tawni: I know! thats what makes it so hilarious!
Sonny: I don't wanna be doing any sketches with Chad, let alone one where I faint in his arms!
Tawni: That's even more hilarious! Stop! You're killing me! (continues laughing) Have fun rehearsing!
(runs into Chad, starts laughing loudly) (Chad looks confused)
Chad: First the nervousness then stumbling and next you'll be dreaming about me and you'll get lost in my eyes, and finally after we kiss, you'll be hooked.
Sonny: After we what?!
Chad: Kiss, four little letters just like my name.
Sonny: And you're nuts! Four little letters, just like your name!
Episode 18.Hart To Hart
Chad: Now I know what you're doing; you don't wanna look me in the eyes.
Sonny: Pffft! What are you talking about?
Chad: Fine. Then take off the hat.
Sonny: Fine. (takes off hat to reveal a smaller hat)
Chad: You're wearing a hat under a hat? Phew! You had the dream, didn't you?
(Sonny's eyes widens) Yeah, it's OK. Tisdale wore 6 hats, but that didn't stop destiny.
Sonny: There is no destiny! There is no you and me! There is no- Wow. I never realized what a deep shade of blue your eyes are.
(both lean into kiss)
Sonny: (snapping out of it) Oh my gosh, what am I doing?!
Chad: Ah, getting lost in me eyes. Check! Now then all that's left is the kiss.
Sonny: (takes off hat) You know what?! I will not kiss you! Not in a million years! You and I don't kiss not now, not ever!
Marshal: (comes out of nowhere) You two are gonna kiss!
Sonny: WHAT (shocked)
Sonny: Let's just get this sketch over with.
Chad: Alright, but after it happens, you know we're gonna be in love.
Chad: (stammering) Yo-you I said you.
Sonny: You said we.
Chad: OK fine, but we is my nickname for you! We happy?
Episode 19.Sonny in the Middle
Sonny: (walks in her dressing room while talking to her mom on her cellphone and holding a mop with a ribbon in her other hand) Yeah mom I got the mop. No no no no! I love it!
Sonny: That's your mom. OH MY GOSH your mom is your manager!
Tammi: My own daughter is firing me!
Sonny: You guys are coco moco loco! (Tawni and Tammi stares at her) Wow.
: [Introducing his puppet Walter to Grady and Nico]
Guys, this is my partner, Officer Rothban. He doesn't like a lot of things.
Officer Rothban: [Sees Chad] Oh my gosh, it's Chad Dylan Cooper! I love your work!
Chad: [To Jeff] Oh, thank you.
Officer Rothban: What are you thanking him for? I'm the one who loves Mackenzie Falls!
Grady: How can you like that show? What is the matter with you?
Nico: What's the matter with him? What's the matter with you? Dude, he's not real!
Chad: At least he has real tastes! [To Rothban] Thank you. [Pats him on the head and leaves]
Officer Rothban: He touched me! I will never wash my head again!
Grady and Nico: To the Cooper pooper!
[Officer Jeff and Officer Rothban are guarding Chad's private bathroom. Chad walks by]
Officer Rothban: Hi, Chad! Great episode last night. I laughed, I cried...
Officer Jeff: I slept right through it.
Chad: How is that even possible?
Officer Jeff:...that Officer Rothban likes something that I don't?
Chad: No, that someone could sleep through Mackenzie Falls. [Stomach growls] Gotta get to a meeting. [Goes into his bathroom]
Officer Rothban: What is the matter with you? Have some respect for the greatest actor of his generation!
Officer Rothban: [Gasps] How dare you!
Sonny: [Frantically making hot cocoa while a bell keeps ringing] Coming! I'm coming!
[She takes the mug to the next room. Officer Jeff and Officer Rothban are sitting there, the bell in Rothban's hand]
Officer Jeff: You know, if you give him the cocoa, he's never going to leave.
Sonny:...How did he ring the bell?
Episode 20.Cookie Monster
Sonny: (holding back Zora) Chad, I can't believe you didn't even thank me for saving your life.
Chad: (holding back Dakota) Look, I will have you know, I was choking on purpose, okay? To get your silly little merit badge, it's called acting.
Sonny: Yeah and you're not that good of an actor.
(Chad and Sonny put Dakota and Zora down)
Chad: Oh really?! Someone better hold me back.
(Dakota holds Chad back while Zora holds Sonny back)
Sonny: Don't make me take off my shoe!
Chad: Get over here!
Sonny: I will hit you in a minute if you keep on lying.
Sonny: Dakota Condor; She thinks that just cause her dad owns the studio that she can have anything she wants!
Dakota: Hey Monroe, gimme your muffin!
Sonny: Anything you want!
Dakota: Hi Chad! How about joining me for lunch?
Chad: Oh hi Dakota. Yeah I'd love to. Actually I'm due on set for rehearsal.
Dakota: Not if my daddy cancels your show.
Chad: (high voice) Oh what are we having?
(Sonny looks at them in disbelief)
Zora: Hi Chad. How would the greatest actor of this generation like to buy a box of cookies?
Chad: (takes out money) You had me at greatest actor of this generation.
Tawni: (with make up all over her face) Why so SERIOUS?
Dakota: I'm just a cute little girl selling cookies is all.
(customers aww and go buy Dakota's cookies)
Sonny: Well whoever buys from us, will get a free balloon with each purchase!
(customers run back)
Chad: (pops Sonny's balloon) if you buy it from us I'll give you my autograph!
(customers runs back to chad)
Sonny: Well anybody who buys it from us will get my autograph! (flips hair)
(no one moves) (Chad laughs at Sonny)
(after the scout leader declared there were no more cookies to sell)
Chad: I've got a box.
Dakota: YES! we can sell it, and we'll win!
Sonny: (flirtatiously) Chad....hand us the cookies. We're your friends.
Chad: Ugh! Stupid cookie!
Sonny: I once had a friend who was a little bloomer. She was only one merit badge shy of becoming a full grown blossom scout. [Starts having flash back]
Mrs. Mongergoure: Sonny Monroe, you will NEVER be a Blossom Scout!!! [Rips of Sonny's stouch. Sonny starts crying. Flashback ends and Sonny if still crying.]
Sonny: My friend never got to realize her dream.
Tawni: Im not really paying attention. And I can already tell this freind of your's is you.
Zora: Well would you or your friend like to buy a box of cookies?
Sonny: You know what put me down for a box
Zora: ONE STINKING BOX I'M TRYING TO BREAK THE COOKIE SELLING RECORD!
Zora: It's the only record I don't currently hold!
Episode 21.Sonny: So Far
Gilroy: Please give it up for Chad Dylan Cooper!
(Chad sits down)
Sonny: Hey! (whispering) What are you doing here?
Chad: (coughs) I'm here promoting my book.
Sonny: You wrote a book?
Chad: (scoffs) No, I read a book.
Gilroy: Hey, what are you two whispering about [pointing to Chad and Sonny] one of your "secret dates"?
[Sonny and Chad laughs]
Chad: I'm just here to talk about my book.
Gilroy: Actually you're not; I wanted you both here so I could get your reaction to this. Let's roll the clip!
[Chad, Sonny and Tawni all look towards screen; clip shows Chad and Sonny on set of Mackenzie Falls]
Sonny: Where did you get that?
Gilroy: Didn't know you were being filmed, huh? Apparently someone in Mackenzie Falls doesn't like Sonny very much. So as we say on the show...GOTCHA!
Sonny: What? You 'gotched' nothing, alright? That was totally taken out of context.
Gilroy: That's what I do! If I were to wait for things to be in context I would not have a show. Still, seems the two of you have little something, something going on... care to comment?
Sonny: Yup! Right after this commercial break!
Gilroy: We're not taking a break.
Sonny: Well, we are! Let's go. (drags Chad off stage)
Tawni: You're leaving me here by myself?
Tawni: Rubber pencil!
Sonny: I can't believe Gilroy tried to do that to us!
Chad: That guy's a jerk. I can't believe I read that book for nothing.
Sonny: You know, Tawni and I made a pact earlier that we wouldn't tell anyone secrets, and I think that we should probably do the same thing.
Chad: Okay fine, I didn't read the book! [Sonny looks at him] Wha-oh, you were talking about the us, (Sonny nods) yeah, we don't have secrets!....Do we?
Sonny: Uh-I don't know, do we?
[Sonny and Chad on the monitor]
Sonny: I mean, what is that, like us liking each other?
Chad: Yeah, I mean I don't really want to talk about my feelings in front of the live studio audience.
Sonny: Yeah, yeah yeah right, I mean especially feelings we've never talked about before.
Chad: Yeah..you have feelings?
Sonny: Do you have feelings?
Chad: I-I mean since you're really asking...it's just the two of us....
Sonny: Right! I mean there's no cameras this time or anything.
Chad: Yeah, I really...I just....
Sonny: No, listen. It's what I'm here for. [Chad smiles at her) You go first!
Chad: No you go first.
Sonny: No you g- ok same time.
Sonny: One... two...
Chad: I was gonna say that yeah, um, two and a half?
[Tanwi grabs the remote and turns off camera]
Tawni: [After she steals Gilroy's remote and Gilroy tries to take it back]No no no! It's time for Tawni Talk! Have a seat!
[Gilroy sits down.]:
Gilroy: The camera's over there.
Tawni: Oh. Hey America!
[Gilroy takes back remote and turns on monitor.]:
Sonny: That was so much easier to say than I thought it would be.
Gilroy: [Screams] What was easy? What did they say? I almost had them!
25 Episodes by March 14, 2010 - January 2, 2011
Episode 1.Walk A Mile In My Pants
Sonny: (runs up to Tawni, Nico and Grady) You guys! You guys! Stop eating!
Nico: Alright! Turn around! Let me see your butt!
Sonny: (confused) What?
Sonny: Hey Chad. Did you hear about my Walk-a-Thon for books?
Chad: Oh yes, we did. And I have to say Sonny, you are very inspiring.
Sonny: Well, we have so much. It's important that we give back.
Chad: (laughs) Aah no, I meant you inspired me to have a Walk-a-Thon against your Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (Pauses to look at the flyer Chad handed to her) A Walk-a-thon against books? How could you be against books?
Chad: That's easy. The more you read, the less you watch MacKenzie Falls.
Sonny: That's your cause, To get people to watch more TV?
Chad: Are you not listening? It's to get them to read less. I'll see you at the Walk-a-Thon to read less books. (turns and turns back around) I've got something to tell you Sonny. We're gonna raise more money than you.
Sonny: For what?
Chad: To not buy books.
Sonny: That doesn't even make sense!
Chad: Aah. Guess all that reading you're doing isn't making you any smarter now, is it? See ya.
Chad: We're gonna look hotter than you at the Walk-a-Thon.
Sonny: (laughs) Giving back is what's hot!
Chad: That's what people who don't look hot say.
(Nico and Grady are rolling around the floor, trying to button Tawni's Extreme Skinny Jeans.)
Nico: These pants are so skinny!
Nico: Tawni's pants are squishing my gluttons maxmi moola!
Grady: (stands up)I signed up for a Walk-a-Thon. Not to have my internal organs crushed by Tawni's jeans!
Sonny: (walks out of the photo booth and trying to button her jeans) I want my mommy jeans back!
Grady: This is impossible.
Sonny: We have to make this work! The only way we can get Tawni to walk with us is for us to wear her jeans because her fans will see on t.v. us wearing her jeans which will raise money for more books and less money for no books and everybody wins except Chad!!!!!! Hey now that I got that out I can button my pants.
Grady: Well good for you because I'm never getting these things on.
Nico: Me neither.
Tawni: (walks in) Yes you will. Thanks to the Tawni Hart Butt Horn.
(The So Random crew all fall down)
News Reporter: Chad, can I get a comment?
Chad: Well-(screams) We win, suck-ahh!(falls down)
(The rest of Makenzie Falls crew fall down dramatically)
News Reporter: Oh no! MacKenzie Falls is down too! What is happening?!
Sonny: SPS is happening.
Chad: Sonny! Sonny, come here! I need to tell you something, in case I don't make it.
Chad: I love...
Chad: I mean I deeply love..
Sonny: Go on!
Chad: ...that more kids are reading less books because of Chad Dylan Cooper!
Sonny: (lets go of Chad's hand and touches his forehead) Oh no! I think you're coming down with P.F.S. too!
Chad: What's that!?
Sonny: (picks up pillow) Pillow in the Face Syndrome! (hits Chad with pillow)
Doctor: Ms. Monroe!
Sonny: Yeah, just fluffing Doc! (throws pillow at Chad and walks over to the doctor)
Chad: Give it to me straight, doc! I can take it.
Doctor: You have L.B.S.
Chad: (gasps) Leading Boy Syndrome?!
Doctor: No. Lack of Book Syndrome! Also known as Lazy Butt Syndrome! LBS is also the abbreviation of pounds, (starts poking Chad), which is what you are going to gain if you don't stop watching yourself on T.V.
Chad: Can't you just cut my pants off? You know how you do?
Doctor: Read two books, then call me in the morning, Mr. Cooper. (hands Chad a perscription)
Chad: (Looks at perscription) Actually it's Dylan Cooper.
Doctor: Not anymore, I removed your Dylan while you were under.
Chad: NO! What did you do to it?!
Doctor: I gave it to someone who wouldn't waste it! (Opens curtains to reveal Grady)
Doctor: Good afternoon, Mr. Grady Dylan Mitchell.
Grady: Just got my Dylan. I've been waiting for 2 years!
Chad: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! (cries) WHY?!
(Chad wakes up)
Chad: I must have fallen asleep reading. Stupid books. That was horrible! (closes book)
Episode 2.Sonny Get Your Goat
Tawni: I don't know why you're packing, you're not going anywhere until you apologize!
Sonny: I don't know why you're packing because I'm not apologizing!
Tawni: Of course you're apologizing it's your thing, you apologize. It's the circle of life (Pretends to draw a circle in the air) cir-cle!
Sonny: And here's what I think about your (Makes hand motion) cir-cle (Pretends to grab circle)
Tawni: (Gasp) What are you doing to my circle?!
Sonny: I'm ripping it! (Pretends to rip circle)
Tawni: Give me that! (They start fighting for the circle)
Sonny: Got it! (Tawni cries)
Tawni: Why is Chad Dylan Cooper selling Glandovian horn whitner?
Tawni: Check out its chicken neck.
Sonny: Check out its chicken arms.
Tawni and Sonny: They're called wings.
Sonny: It felt so good to check it out with you.
Tawni: Really? 'Cause I thought that you thought Dinka was better than me.
Sonny: And I thought that you thought you're partner was better than me.
Tawni: My partner was a goat.
Sonny: My partner sang like one.
Tawni and Sonny: I'm sorry. (hugs each other)
Tawni: Oooh. I'm seeing a lot of angry people over your shoulder.
Sonny: And I'm watching a goat go to the bathroom over yours.
Episode 3.Gassie Passes
Bella: Gassie! Stay! And don't lick yourself. I just brushed you.
Sonny: (knocks on Gassie's door) Gassie.
Gassie: (walks out through the doggy door)
Sonny: (to Gassie and pets him) Awww. There you are. You know, I used to have a dog just like you in Wisconsin. Yeah, except he was a beagle with three legs and one eye. We called him Lucky! Or... or Limpy. Or Blindy. But, you know, it didn't matter what we called him because he was deaf too! You know what else he loved? We think. Meatballs. Yeah, you smell? (feeds Gassie the meatballs) Awwww. I bet she never feeds you treats huh?
Sonny: (throws some more meatballs through Gassie's door) Gassie go! Go! Hurry!
(Gassie goes back inside his dressing room. Sonny stuffs the rest of the meatballs inside her mouth)
Bella: What are you doing here?
Sonny: (mouth full) Nothing.
Bella: Were you playing with Gassie?
Sonny: (shakes her head) Nuh unh!
Bella: (stares at Sonny)
Sonny: (stares back at Bella)
Bella: (stares back at Sonny) I'm watching you. (leaves)
Sonny: (spits the meatballs out and puts them on the floor)
Gassie: (walks back out)
Sonny: You heard Bella, Gassie. She doesn't want me playing with you anymore. (has an idea) But she didn't say anything about you playing with me!
Sonny: I'll take that as a yes! Come on Gassie!
Gassie: (follows Sonny)
Sonny: I didn't come here to argue I came here to give Gassie some dog time. Beneath the trees and on grass...
Chad: Except the grass is plastic and the trees are cardboard because[through the bull-horn]THIS IS A SET.
Sonny: Good then what Gassie is doing to that bush over there wont kill it.
So Random Cast: (sees Gassie dead) NO!
Zora: Please tell me he's sleeping.
Sonny: Okay, he's sleeping.
Zora: DON'T LIE TO ME!!!
Tawni: What did you do?
Sonny: I don't know! It was going so well. I told him to sit and he sat. I told him roll over he rolled over. I told him to play dead HE DIED!
Grady: (feels Gassie's paws) You guys should feel this.
(Everybody is disgusted.)
[Looking at the Gassie & We movie poster]
Tawni: Why is Gassie's head bigger then mine?
Sonny: Well, I'm not sure that it is.
[Lunch-box lets out a farting sound]
Sonny: Gross! you want people to buy that and then put food in it?
Zora: Gross sells sister.
Dakota: You have have very nice blue eyes.
Grady: Why thank you.
Dakota: It'd be a shame if you lost one of them!
Grady: Yeah it would.
Dakota: Now hand me to the Matador![Grady hands her to Nico]
Chad: You just found out your boyfriend's a vampire,you're scared,you're confused,you have two holes in your neck what do you do? AND ACTION!
Episode 4.Sonny With A Song
Sonny: (closes the painting and turns to Tawni)
Tawni: Well played. I can't believed you tricked me.
Sonny: Tawni, you don't understand.
Tawni: No, you don't understand. I can't believe you tricked me.
Sonny: (smiling nervously)
Tawni: I'm so proud! (hugs Sonny)
Sonny: And I thought you weren't a hugger.
Tawni: And I thought you were above manipulative to get a boy. Apparently it's opposite day!
Tawni: Aw. You have a song pillow?
Tawni: Can I see it?
Tawni: (grabs one side of the pillow and pulling it) GIVE ME THE PILLOW!!!! I know you're in love with him!
Sonny: (pulling the other side) No I'm not!
(The song pillow tears up and Sonny's songs fly all over the place.)
Sonny: MY SONGS! (looking through her songs)
Tawni: (reading Sonny's songs) "Girl Plus Boy Equals Joy" "Girl Plus Boy Equals Soy" "Girl Plus Boy Equals Annoying"
Sonny: Annoying? I didn't write that.
Tawni: No I did. See that's how easy it is to make horrible songs.
Sonny: Look, I wrote those when I was pretty young. (picks up a sheet) This is the song I wanted to show him.
Tawni: (reads) "Me, Myself and Time." Let's hear it.
Tawni: You heard me.
Sonny: I don't really feel comfortable-
Sonny: (smiles nervously and then sings) I can make the rain stop if I wanna just by my attitude.
Tawni: Huh. Not bad.
Tawni: Not the song. Using music to get a musician. Why didn't I think of that?
Chad: Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing.
Chad: Not little ones.
Chad: Not low ones.
Chad: Bangs and Fangs, We all get bitten by vampires and get awesome hair.
Nico: Is your show written by monkeys?
Sonny: (pulls the curtain and sees Tawni) Tawni?!
Tawni: You're right. I am a lying, self serving, song stealing phony! (confused) How did I get in this box?
Sonny: And besides, I'm more of a dabbler anyways. (in a British accent) Dabbler, dabbler, dabbler.
Tawni: If you won't sing it honey, I will.
Sonny: (thinks for a few seconds, covers Tawni with the curtain and goes onstage)
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, singing her original song, "Me, Myself and Time", Sonny Munroe!
(Everyone is watching Sonny perform.)
Marshall: Who knew?
Tawni: She's great right?
(Nico, Grady and Marshall look at her.)
Tawni: It's opposite day.
Episode 5.High School Miserable
Snowy: My men might be short but I'm living large.
Cindy: If the slipper fits, you too can be a princess.
Beauty: With all the beauty rest I get, is there any wonder why I'm so hot?
All: We are the real princesses of New Jersey.
In the hair saloon:
Snowy: Hey Beauty, what are you wearing tonight?
Beauty: I'm thinking of wearing my mini gown.
Snowy: Aah, the one with the leopard pattern?
Beauty: You know it. [growls]
Snowy: It's gonna be like Beauty and the Beast wrapped up in one. [both laugh nasally] So Beauty and I are getting mani padis 'cause I'm throwing a ball tonight. It's going to be very A-list. There's gonna be fairies, godmothers, singing mice. Ah the whole Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Bang. [laughs snobbishly] It's ridiculous.
Cindy: Well, well, well, if it ain't the second and third fairest of them all.
Snowy: Cindy, how did you know we where here? [laughs nervously]
Cindy: Mirror Mirror on the wall, are those 2 witches at the mall?
Mirror: Yeah, they're getting their nails done. But you didn't hear it from me.
Cindy: I can't believe you didn't invite me to your ball.
Snowy: Oh, you mean you didn't get the invitation?
[Both smile at each other then roll their eyes.]
Snowy: Yeah like I was going to invite her, right? Last ball I threw, stroke of midnight, her dress is trashed, one shoe on, one shoe off. She's driving around in a pumpkin.
Cindy: Ha. They think that they're so much better than me.
Back at the hair salon:
Cindy: Your mother's a witch.
Snowy: Your mother's a witch.
Beauty: Princesses, princesses. All of our mothers are witches.
Snowy: Sorry I flew off the handle. [shows Cindy a apple] Apple?
Cindy: Thanks. [takes out her gum, eats the apple and falls on the ground]
Beauty: [laughs] She falls for that every time.
Snowy: I guess we know who the dumbest of them all is. It's ridiculous.
Sonny: [in Snowy voice] I know. It's ridiculous, right? [flips her hair]
Tawni: (singing) I've never, ever been to public school.
Sonny: Oh no.
Martha: What is she doing?
Sonny: She's trying to tell us how miserable she is.
Tawni: I never thought that it would be this cruel.
Martha: By singing?
Sonny: Looks like it.
Nico: (singing) It's endless. We're friendless.
Grady: (walks in and sings) It's nothing but pain.
Sonny: Apparently the only high school they know is the musical one.
Zora: (singing) And no one in this dump knows our name.
Sonny: Alright Martha, give me a boost.
Martha: (helps Sonny up on a lunch table)
(Music starts playing.)
Sonny: (singing) I know you think that this is probably my fault.
Tawni: We do.
Sonny: The catty comments and the constant assault.
Grady: It's cool.
Sonny: I was here once and I'm still alive. So listen if you wanna survive (gets down) inside this-
So Random Cast: High School Miserable.
Tawni: I never I thought I'd be invisible.
So Random Cast: This High School Miserable.
Sonny: We got to keep being indivisible.
So Random Cast: In this High School Miserable. Don't understand what's happening to me. In this High School Miserable. (stands on lunch tables) Someone get me back on T.V.
Episode 6.Legend Of Candyface
Announcer: On the next Mackenzie Stalls, backed up passions overflow.
Sonny: I thought we were destined to be together. Now I can never forgive you. You left the toilet seat up!
Grady: It was a moment of weakness, but I'm not the only one with a secret shame.
Sonny: (gasps) You mean?
Grady: Yes! You forgot to flush.
Announcer: Lack of hygiene leads to lack of trust.
Tawni: I can't hold it in anymore. Tell me the truth. Did you wash your hands?
Nico: Of course I did.
Tawni: Lies! (slaps Nico)
Announcer: And someone didn't read the writing on stall.
Sonny: You're not welcome here, Mackenzie.
Grady: Why? Because I'm richer than you?
Sonny: No, because this is the girls bathroom.
Grady: (gasps) WHY?!?!?!?!
Sonny: And you're zipper is open.
Announcer: In a world flushed with drama, the number one show is now number two. Mackenzie Stalls.
Zora: Starring Chad Dylan Pooper.
Chad: (watching the sketch and becomes furious) Pooper?! Oh, it's on! Plunger! (catches a plunger thrown at him and walks away)
(The So Random cast walk in the prophouse with toilet paper and plungers on themselves.)
Sonny: I told you that if we made fun of Mackenzie Falls on our show they would get back at us.
Nico: I don't care. Doing that Mackenzie Stalls sketch was worth getting plunged in the head.
Grady: Look at me. I'm a toilet unicorn.
Sonny: Yeah, well at least you got the front half. (turns and there's a plunger on her butt)
(The So Random cast pull the plungers out of themselves.)
Zora: You know what I think? Our humiliation calls for major retaliation. I'm talking glue,fire ants,and a sizzling fajita. Who's with me?
Tawni: Chicken or Steak?
Sonny: No. No more revenge. No more retaliation. No more fajitas.
Tawni: Ms. Bitterman, does hitting Sonny with a log count as a 'woodsy' activity?
Chad: And if we do it all together, does it count as bonding?
Ms.Bitterman: If you pick the log out together, yes.
Zora: Quick! Everybody agree on a log!
Sonny: (runs away)
Ms.Bitterman: You have been paired up with the person you dislike the most.
Grady: I should be with Aquaman!
Ms.Bitterman: From reality.
Ms.Bitterman: Now, the minefield consists of various...
Zora: Moose dung!
Ms.Bitterman: There's other dung.
Chloe: Poop to your left! Poop to your left!
Grady: I can't 'go' with people watching.
Chad: Have you guys been breathing in too much bug spray? It looks like a wolf in a hoodie. Your Candy Face could be... anything?
Grady: Even Candy Face.
Zora: Somebody wake Sonny!
Tawni: Good idea! If Candy Face gets Sonny then maybe he'll leave the rest of us alone!
So Random Cast: (everyone pulls Sonny's sleeping bag but she's not there)
Zora: Sonny's gone!
(A girlish scream is heard.)
(The So Random cast is looking for Sonny)
Zora: Sonny! Sonny! We found her! She's over here!
Sonny: (lying on the ground)
Grady: (helping Sonny up with Nico) How's she looking?
Tawni: Terrible, so she must be okay.
Chad: If you’ll excuse me, it’s time to say buenos noches to señor smoothie.(walks away)
Nico: Chad, watch out! There's a snake!
Chad: I'm not falling for it!
[screams like a girl]
Nico: There... really was a snake.
Sonny: He has got to learn how to trust.
[Chad screams again]
Grady: And scream like a dude!
Sonny: (watching the video on Zora's camera and sees herself sleep walking and destroying Senor Smoothie) I must have been sleepwalking. I must have been the one who broke the heater and Grady's GameGuy. Oooh and killed Senor Smoothie. I'm Candy Face. I'm Candy Face! I'm Candy Face! And I'm destroying the evidence. (throws the camera against a stump and breaks it)
Nico: What was that?!
Sonny: Ahhh! (throws the camera and her gloves on the ground) It's Candy Face!
(The So Random cast come out of the tent.)
Sonny: Candy Face! She- he- it broke your camera!
Zora: It's like the monster is deliberately destroying everything that's important to us!
Tawni: And yet he gently deposits you.
(The Mackenzie Falls cast come out of their tent.)
Chad: Let me guess, Candy Face... broke the camera. There's no evidence to prove it you guys are right. One of you is responsible for this and I'm pretty sure it's-
Sonny: No, no, no! (crying and hugs Chad) Chad, Chad, Chad! It happened right in front of me and it was so scary. The only thing I could think of was if only Chad Dylan Cooper, the greatest actor of our generation, was here to save us.
Chad: He is (holds Sonny) and he will.
Chloe: You believe her?
Chad: I believe that she's not a good enough actor to lie this convincingly.
(Mackenzie Falls cast agree with Chad.)
Devon: I'm sorry I accused you guys of stealing my electric man scaping device.
Grady: I'm sorry I blamed you for the death of my Game Guy.
Nico: I'm sorry I tried to hit on you while I was blindfolded.
Penelope: And I'm sorry you don't realize what league you're in.
Sonny: You see what's happening here? Trust. Which means our job here is done. So we can just take that trust, put it in a bottle, wrap a little bow around it, bring it back to the studio because together we can-
'Zora: KILL CANDY FACE!
So Random and Mackenzie Falls cast: Yeah!
Sonny: Or we can capture him and rehabilitate him.
So Random and Mackenzie Falls cast: NO!
Chad: Everybody in to the Mac Falls tent. We'll huddle there for safety there tonight. Tomorrow, our first trust exercise is weapon building!
So Random and Mackenzie Falls Cast: Whoo! (everyone goes inside the tent)
Zora: We're hunting monsters! (hugs) Sonny, this is the best retreat ever! (leaves)
Sonny: (shocked expression)
Grady: Candy's supposed to melt in your mouth not into your skin.
Sonny: (starts sleepwalking with a blanket and candy on her face that makes her look like she's wearing a mask) Roar! (knocks the table down)
Sonny: (walks towards the Mackenzie Falls tent)
So Random and Mackenzie Falls cast: (wake up) Candy Face!
Sonny: Roar! (grabs a plant)
Zora: It's got Sonny's head!
Sonny: (rips the plant out)
Grady: (disgusted) It's ripping her hair out!
Sonny: (pouring the water out of the pot)
Nico: Brain juice....
Nico and Grady: (throw up)
So Random and Mackenzie Falls cast: Ewwww!
Chad: Those are my seal skin slippers!
Episode 7.Gummy With A Chance
Sonny: I'm starting to think all your hot gas is the cause of global warming.
Chad: I'll have you know my entire dressing room is powered by alternative energy. I'm walking the walk.
Sonny: Yeah well...we're scraping....the scrape.
Zora:(in the vents) You'll never be able to get away with it.
Sonny: Shut up conscience!
Zora: It's me.
Sonny: Shut up...me!
Grady: It's just that every time you try to be nice to us we end up...sad.
Nico: Or injured.
Grady: Or in Mexico.
Chad: That was the old Chad. And you did beat the bull. Ole!
Episode 8.Random Acts of Disrespect
Chad: Well if it isn't the face of geezer hatred.
Sonny: *sighs* You heard?
Chad: We all saw it, didn't we kids?
Nico: Did you bring the kids here to boo us?
Chad: No, we came here to thank you.
Chad: Yeah, because for just a minute their fear of clowns took a backseat to their grandparents tears. My grandma called me, told me not to watch the show, told her it was ok I already didn't.
Sonny: You know someday someones gonna expose you for the jerk you are [Pulls off Chad's hood and sees the hair curlers] OH MY GOSH!
Tawni: OH MY GOSH!
Chad:[Tries to cover his hair] OH MY GOSH!
Sonny: Hair curlers?
Chad: No. Girls wear curlers. These are my...Healthy hair rods.
Nico & Grady:(laughs)
Chad: Ha ha ha. My follicle consultant has me wearing them to keep my hair happy...and attached to my scalp.
Sonny: Your worried about losing you hair? But your seventeen.
Chad: Buddy was seventeen and before he knew it it was melon!
Chad: Melon I tell ya!
Chad: What are you doing? These kids have an extreme fear of clowns the slightest bit comedy can set them off!
Sonny: Then why'd you bring them here!
Chad: This is the closest thing to a comedy free zone I know.
Episode 9.Grady With A Chance Of Sonny
Sonny: Well, I'm officially your girlfriend.
Sonny: Officially your fake girlfriend.
Grady: Oh. Well go make me a sandwich!
Sonny: (looks at Grady)
Grady: I'm just kidding. I'll make us sandwiches.
Tawni: Well guess what? We're going to lose the botch and take it up a notch.
Nico: I like working with you already! Grady never makes our plans rhyme.
Tawni: Oh I do it all the time.
Grant: Your a lucky man.
Grady: I'm telling Mom! Wait! What?
Grant: I've had a million girlfriends.
Chad: On the hunt for a nutritious breakfast?
Nico: I don't know there might be one hiding behind you dignity.
Episode 10.Falling for the Falls: Part 1
Sonny: I need to talk to you immediately!
Chad: Actually I'm glad you're here I need a favor.
Sonny: I don't have time to help you with your science project.
Chad: Please, I have an actual scientist to do that.
(Sonny looks confused)
Chad: I need a tennis judge. Word on the street is that you can help.
Sonny: What? I'm not a tennis judge!
Chad: So you just made that up?
Sonny: Yes. But listen-
Chad: Who makes up something like that?
Sonny: Who needs a free lance tennis judge?
Chad: Actually I'm hosting my annual charity tournament and I don't want to lose again
Sonny: Oh I see. Well, as much as I'd like to help you cheat for a good cause I can't. Why? Oh yeah 'cause I'm not a tennis judge!
Chad: Uh huh. So what you want?
Sonny: Some answers!
Chad: To what?
Sonny: To how it all ends! To how long it's gonna be before you ask the girl you're destined to be with.
Chad: I'm not sure I can answer that.
Sonny: Aren't you in charge of your destiny?
Chad: Uh, I guess?
Sonny: Then It's time to say enough. When two people are this right for each other there's only one thing to do.
Chad: How long have you felt this way?
Sonny: Just since yesterday. It hasn't been long but it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Chad: I mean I guess I feel the same way.
Sonny: Well then do something about it!
Chad: Okay I will
Chad: Sonny will you go out with me?
(Sonny looks shocked)
Sonny: I-I'm sorry, did you just ask me out?!
Chad: I'm sorry, didn't you just beg me to?
Sonny: Wait did you think I was talking about... Oh dear this is awkward!
Chad: (laughs awkwardly) Sure is... I mean I know why it's awkward just wanna know if you know...why it's awkward ?
Sonny: I was talking about Mackenzie and Chloe, but you seem to be talking-
Chad: Na-na-no yup yup me to same page. Whoo!
Sonny: Whoo hoo!
Chad: See I just thought you thought I thought it was awkward because you thought I was asking you out, Ya'no rather than Mackenzie asking Chloe out, which I was.
Sonny: Yeah but you said Sonny-
Chad: Yeah buh buh that's awkward .
Chad: You're a Mackenzie Falls fan now!
Chad: (in between both yeahs) Cool.
Sonny: (in between both cool's') Yeah.
Chad: So I suppose I should probably tell you that I'm a So Random fan now.
Chad: Yeah but I'd be lying.
Sonny: You know, it's funny. Like I learned with Mackenzie Falls, if you look at something with an open mind, you can... Surprise yourself. Soooo... Yeah.
Sonny: Yeah, I'll go out with you.
Chad: So we're doing this.
Sonny: I guess so. [Walks away and comes back] Okay, but I still don't know. Does Mackenzie ever ask-
Chad: Hup-up-up. If we're gonna make this work, I'm gonna have to ask you to never ask me about my business.
Sonny: Fine. I guess I'll just check the blogs like everyone else.
Chad: Alright, lets take it from where I say "I need to talk to you right away."
Sonny: I need to talk to you right away.
Chad: THAT IS MY LINE! I AM GOING TO FIRE SOMEO- Oh, hey Sonny.
Sonny: We need to talk.
Chad: Alright everyone, that's a five. Apparently, I need to talk to my lady.
Sonny: Joking! Joking, not his "lady". Chad, I need to tell you something.
Chad: Wait is this about our date?
Sonny: Yes. I think we need to call it off.
Chad: Is this about me not telling you what happens between Mack and Chloe?
Sonny: No, no. I seriously don't care about them or the Falls right now. I just think I rushed into something I didn't fully think through.
Chad: That hurts me, Sonny.
Sonny: Oh, I'm sorry.[Hugs him but he doesn't hug back]
Chad: How could you not care about the Falls?
Sonny: Wait, what hurts you more? The fact that I'm over the Falls or me canceling our date?
Chad: That's a toughie.
Sonny: That's a toughie?!
Chad: See, it's just that, if you date me, you date the Falls. So if you hurt one of us, you hurt us both.
Sonny: Oh my gosh. I cant believe I was this close to going on a date with you! What was I thinking? I mean, clearly I wasn't thinking-
Chad: Yeah! And ironically, this is a drama free zone! Security!
Sonny: 24 hours ago, I fell in love with a guy named Mackenzie. And you, Chad, are no-
Chad: Don't say Mackenzie, do NOT say Mackenzie.
Sonny: Which is why, in the spirit of full disclosure--
Nico: I mean the only thing that you possibly do that would be a bigger betrayal would be if you were dating Chad!
(Everyone bursts out laughing)
Grady: Stop your killing me!
Sonny: (nervously laughs along) Me too!
Nico: I know, it's hilarious...."Chad".
Tawni: So, what did you want to disclosure us about?
Sonny: What are you doing here?
Chad: Can I come in?
Sonny: A little.
(Chad comes in a little)
Chad: Well...I thought about what you asked me-
Sonny: Excuse me, (to Connie) Mom, you may go watch the Falls.
Connie: (watching them) I'm good.
Chad: You asked which hurt more you being over the Falls or you canceling our date and it was definitely you canceling our date. Not really a toughie at all.
Sonny: Thanks. That's very...Mackenzie of you.
Chad: Thanks. so you never did actually give me a reason why you called off our date.
Sonny: Well it's sort of like you said when you date me you date date So Random, and they can be a little--
(the So Random cast barges in and knocks Chad out of the way)
Sonny: What are you guys doing here?
Grady:(angrily) I found change!
Zora: (gasps) It's worse then we thought!
Nico: Flowers, a Mack Falls box set, and a photo of Chad holding some flowers... and a Mack Falls box set!
( Chad walks out from behind the door)
So Random crew: Chad?!
Sonny: (pretends to be surprised and fake gasps) Chad?!
Zora: Well, it's pretty obvious what's going on here.
Connie: Chad is here to see me!
Connie: It's okay, Sonny. I am not ashamed to tell them the truth.
Sonny: No. But I might be! What are you doing?
Connie: Trust me. (walks over to Chad)
Connie: Chad came here tonight bearing gifts for me, because...
Chad: Sonny's mother is also... my mother.
So Random crew: (gasps)
Sonny: So...when's the tournament?
Chad: I'll give you the details tomorrow night.
Sonny: What's tomorrow night?
Chad: Our first date. See ya.
(Sonny smiles and turns around to see her mother standing there.)
Connie: Ooh...and the plot thickens.
Sonny: (to Connie) Room!
Connie: But can't we just talk?
Episode 11.Falling for the Falls: Part 2
At Mackenzie Falls set:
Chad: (wearing a neck brace) This is exactly what I was afraid if I asked you out. That I would end up broken or broken hearted. I just never imagined it would be both Sonny.
Chad: What Sonny?
Chloe: You said Sonny.
Chad: I don't think so.
At So Random set:
Sonny: The patient is critical. We need to get him into the operation room CHAD!
Tawni: (confused) Chad?
Sonny: What? No. I said STAT. As in we need to get him into the operation room CHAD!
Grady: Mmmmm. You did it again.
Sonny: Ummm. I don't think so.
Nico: (gets up from the gurney) I heard it too.
Grady: Even the dead guy heard it.
Sonny: You know what? Okay this is ridiculous.
Chad: You people are hearing things.
Sonny: (same time with Chad) I did not say Chad.
Chad: (same time with Sonny) I did not say Sonny.
Zora: So what do you think was up with the slip of the tongue this morning?
Chad: (getting food but not looking at Sonny) They're watching.
Sonny: (getting food too but not looking at Chad) Yeah. I know. Act natural.
Chad: Good call. Just follow my lead.
Chad: What say you good woman? Were these freshly picked this fine morn?
Sonny: I said act natural not Amish. This is silly. Why don't we just tell people that we have a date tonight?
Chad: Bad idea. You know how much our two shows hate each other. If they find out we're going on a date they'll think it's okay for them and then- (shakes his head)
Tawni: You don't think those guys like each other, do you?
Nico: Maybe. I mean look at them trying to act all discreet.
Grady: Well, I happen to be keen reader at lips. So whatever they're trying to say, they might as well say it to me.
Sonny: So Chad...
Grady: No, Brad.
Sonny: what's the plan?
Chad: Well I'm getting us a limo-
Grady: Apparently he's getting a pillow.
Chad: to take us-
Grady: Two steaks plus.
Chad: at 8:00-
Grady: He ate a sock.
Chad: to a nice dinner.
Grady: and a rice thinner.
Tawni: Read my lips.
Grady: [turns to Tawni]
Tawni: You're a dope.
Grady: "Europe's pope."
Sonny: It is a sad day when a young woman can't try on twelve or thirteen outfits without being accused of going on a date! You should be ashamed of yourselves! (waves her finger) Shame on you! (Grady raises his hand) Yes Grady?
Grady: So in the risk of further shame, will you be joining us for pizza night? Because you're in charge of the coupons.
Sonny: No I won't be joining you.
Tawni: Ah ha!
Sonny: Not because I have a date or anything. Because I'll be helping my mother who has a sprain ankle from doing things with that foot that she should not have been doing.
Nico: Too bad Sonny's gonna miss Pizza Night.
Zora: Yeah, pizza just won't taste the same without her.
Grady: Yes it will!
Chad: (looks at his clothes) Hello boys. It's showtime!
Sonny: Hello girls. It's toe time! (paints her toes)
(Sonny is looking for good earrings to wear while Chad is looking for good shoes to wear.)
Sonny and Chad: Nah. (puts their first choice down and picks up their second choice up) Nah. (puts their second choice down and picks up their third choice) Nah.
Sonny: (picks up two pairs of earrings) This would be so much easier if I was a dude.
Chad: This would be so much easier if I was an average dude.
Sonny: (trying different kinds of lipsticks) Good.
Chad: (trying outfits) Too preppy.
Chad: Trying too hard.
Sonny: Rockin' it!
Chad: Not trying hard enough.
Chad: Too Nico. Too Grady. Too Tawni but very comfortable.
Sonny: Hey Chad. It's me. I've been ready for half a hour now. Listen, I can't wait to see you. It's gonna be perfect.
Chad: (surrounded by piles of clothes all over the floor) IT'S WRONG! IT'S WRONG! IT'S ALL WRONG! (kicks some clothes)
Chad: (thinks) Man, her shark is so much cooler than my lame jellyfish. I'm such an idiot.
Sonny: (looks nervous and thinks) I'm such an idiot. Why did I do the shark? His jellyfish was adorable. He's adorable. (stares at him)
Chad: (thinks and stares at Sonny) She's adorable. (looks at him palms) Oh my palms are sweating. Just be cool. (stops thinking and still nervous) So...Ohh!(leans but accidentally falls)
Sonny: Chad! Are you okay?
Chad: (gets up) I'm good. I'm good. I'm cool. (thinks) I'm so not cool. Water! I need water. (drinks his water) This isn't making me anymore cool, although it is refreshing.
Sonny: You know, this all looks so great. Why don't you order since you know so much about sushi?
Chad: (thinks) Oh my gosh, I forgot everything I know about sushi. Keep drinking, keep drinking. Maybe she'll stop asking. (drinks Sonny's water)
Sonny: (thinks) Oh my gosh, I'm boring him so much he's trying to drown himself. (talks to Chad) Chad?
Chad: (stops drinking) Yeah?
Sonny: (touches Chad's hand) Do you want to order?
Chad: (thinks and gasps) She touched my hand! I was suppose to touch her hand first. What kind of man am I?
Sonny: (thinks) He's not even looking at me. Do I have something in my teeth? Of course I don't have anything in my teeth, I haven't eaten in hours. I'm starving! Why won't he order?!
Chad: (thinks) Quit drinking! You're gonna explode! Just tell her she makes me nervous. She'll understand. (stops drinking and thinking) Sonny, I need to tell you something.
Sonny: Yes Chad?
Chad: (throws up at her)
Sonny: (screaming in disgust)
(A camera starts flashing while Chad throws up.)
Chad: (shocked and runs out)
Sonny: (thinking) Oh my gosh, I can't believe he just did that! Why am I saying this to myself?! (shouts) Oh my gosh, I can't believe he just did that! Ewww!!
Episode 12.Sonny with a Secret
Flashback to one year ago in Wisconsin
Mr. Henderson: And now give it up for Sonny Munroe!
Sonny: Thank you West Appleton High! I can't believe a week from now I will be leaving Wisconsin to go to Hollywood! And it's a good thing too because I didn't finish my book report.
Mr. Henderson: Boo!
Sonny: Sorry Mr. Henderson. But I promise exactly one year from today I will be back home to accept West Appleton's highest honor, the firing of the Cheese Cannon! And to deliver my book report. And even though I will be leaving Wisconsin I will always have cheese in my heart. Gouda! Havarti! Cheddar and Jack!
Sonny: Wisconsin cheese is an awesome snack!
Sonny: (puts the book down and smiles) You believe in me Tawni.
Tawni: Those better be the first words in that book.
Penelope: I'm giving you one last chance, MacKenzie. If don't give me your water I'll fill my bottles from the tap. Chad this is where you turn and face me. (turns Chad's chair around and sees Chad looking at pictures of Sonny on his cellphone)
Chad: (sad) This is milady at the zoo. This is milady at the pancake house eating a shortstack. This is milady screaming to not take pictures of her shortstack.
Penelope: Chad, what are you doing?
Chad: That's what she asked when I took the picture! (crying) Why did I let her go?! Don't look at me!
Chad: (crying) I miss you Shortstack!
Sonny: The bomb! This book is the bomb!
Tawni: And from the looks of it, it looks like you're almost finished. (smiles)
(On Chad's jet)
Chad: WHY?!?!?!?!?! And that's our inflight entertainment.
Zora: It's a good thing this plane comes with barf bags.
Chad: I can't think! (looks at a fortune cookie) I don't need a fortune cookie to make this decision. (throws the fortune cookie away) I choose Sonny.
So Random Cast: (cheers)
Audience: (counting down)
(The So Random cast and Chad show up. Chad pushes Sonny out of the way, Zora puts out the cannon with her pipe and Nico pulls out the cheese ball.)
Vicky: (begins to run)
Tawni: (stops Vicky) Going somewhere, Penelope?
Vicky: I don't know what you're talking about.
Tawni: Oh, you're face may say Vicky but your ugly pilot shoes say Penelope. (pulls Vicky's face but it's revealed to be a mask and reveals Penelope)
Sonny: Penelope? This is like a bad episode of Mackenzie Falls.
Chad: (looks at Sonny)
Sonny: Or a good one.
Zora: Tawni figured it out?! Two thousand dollars and three days of my life for nothing! I don't deserve this coat! (takes off her coat)
Zora: (hangs up phone) Sonny's still not answering. I'm getting worried.
Chad: It's gonna be ok, we're almost there.
Episode 13.The Problem with Pauly
Sonny: You guys, thank you so much for coming to Pauly and Pals with me. Wasn't it great?
Nico: Sonny, it's a kids show.
Hank: You know this beef stick?
Sonny: Yeah this beef stick is my boyfriend. (slaps Chad behind the head)
Episode 14.That's So Sonny
Chad: You're no one unless you have a million! WHY WON'T YOU MOVE?!?!?!
(The Chadometer drops dramatically.)
Chad: Oh no! It's dropping! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to yell at you. Come back! Come back! Come back!
Sonny: Come back to me Chad. I made a phone call that's going to make this all better.
???: Wardrobe lady!
Chad: That's no ordinary fan. Amber?
Sonny: Wait, you're Amber?
Amber: (takes off wig and glasses) Yep, that's me.
Tawni: Who was that woman?
Amber: (comes back in) It's Maya Baboodi! Maya Baboo.....di! (leaves)
Chad: (turns to Sonny) This is the moment of truth.
Amber: First I thought it was these two. (flashes a picture of Nico and Grady) They got problems, but Chad ain't one of them.
Amber: Then I suspected the blonde. (flashes a picture of Tawni) But again I came with nothing. They said ever since you've been dating Sonny Munroe you have been more nicer, sweet or kind.
Sonny: Aww. (hugs Chad)
Amber: Which to Chad's fans means he has been more boring, ordinary or uninteresting.
Amber: Which is why my conclusion is this. Just like this ugly shirt, (flashes a picture of Chad's shirt from Sonny then a picture of Sonny) Sonny Munroe (flashes a X on Sonny's face), gotta go!
Sonny: Yeah Chad, what's it gonna be?
Chad: (looks at both of them nervously) Uh. Uh. You're fired.
Sonny and Amber: Ha! Wait! Which one of us?
Chad: You're fired.
Amber: (stars murmuring and making a weird face)
Amber: You think you can beat me at my own game?
Sonny: Bring it on Algoode!
Episode 15.Chad Without a Chance
Sonny: (enters the prop house,coughing,snezzes)
Chad: Hey, babe.
Nico: Oh don't you babe her! She's our babe!
Grady: Yeah! Hey, babe.
Sonny: Okay, alright, stop arguing. I'm going to stop this right now. Nobody gets to call me babe.
Chad: (gets mad)
Grady: In your face, Chaddy!
So Random Cast: (arguing who gets Sonny first)
Chad: Hey! Hey! Can't you see milady's not feeling well?
Chad: You people disgust me, almost as much as the snot rocket that just came out of milady's nose. It's okay, come on. Let's go make you some tea because you're sick, (turns to the So Random cast) lovesick. (makes kissing faces)
So Random Cast: (disgusted)
Sonny: You know what? You're right. It must be the fever talking because if I wasn't sick, clearly I'd know that you could never handle this list.
Chad: (offended) Really?
Chad: 'Cause I'm pretty sure I can handle a day babysitting your little funhut buddies.
Sonny: (gets up) Yeah, I don't think so.
Chad: (takes the list) I know so.
Sonny: I'm going home.
Chad: Feel better.
Chad: Miss you.
Sonny: Miss you too. (smiles and leaves)
Chad: (holds Sonny's hand) Thanks. You should really put some sunscreen on. I want your face to stay perfect.
So Random: (yelling in disgust from distance)
Chad: Get use to it, Randoms!
Sonny: Chad, it's over.
Chad: (crying) (to Tawni) You said she'd be gentle.
Tawni: (gives Sonny a list)
Sonny: Ooh! Crier! (marks it on the list)
Tawni: WHAT did you do!?
Chad: [In a daze] I wrote on the wall with crayons, Mommy.
Episode 16.My Two Chads
Sonny: (gasps) Has Chaz ever pretended to be you?
Chad: (about to speak)
Sonny: (gasps) Were you even on our bike date?
Chad: (about to speak again)
Chad: Yeah, but I have a really good reason.
Sonny: Dazzle me.
Chad: (murmurs) I don't know how to ride a bike.
Sonny: What was that?
Chad: I said I don't know how to (murmurs) ride a bike.
Sonny: Excuse me?
Chad: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RIDE A BIKE!
Sonny: Yeah, no. I heard you the first time. I just couldn't believe it.
Chad: I have a fear of spokes, and pedals, (points to his face) and this hitting the cement.
Sonny: (sarcastically laughs) Story's not funny yet. Exactly what dates put you in harm's way?
Chad: (thinks back)
Chaz: (throws a dart)
Sonny: (smiles and claps)
Sonny: Wait, that wasn't you?
Chad: There were pointy things involved. Harm's way.
Sonny: What else?
Chaz: Here's your cocoa. (winks)
(End of flashback)
Sonny: (mad and hands on her hips) Seriously?
Chad: Hot liquid, Sonny. Classic harm's way.
Sonny: You done?
Sonny and Chad: (wearing sombreros, staring at each other at a Mexican restaurant)
Chad: Happy one week anniversary, my senorita.
Sonny: And they said we wouldn't last.
Sonny and Chad: (grabs their tacos and clang them together) Ole!
(End of flashback)
Sonny: (sad) Our anniversary?
Chad: You know Mexican food makes me gassy, and that would put you in harm's way. See? I'm just looking out for you.
Sonny: No, you weren't. A stunt double? Really? I mean, I just...I can't-
Chad: Spit it out, Sonny.
Sonny: We're over.
Chad: Spit it back in. Spit it back in.
Sonny: No, you know what? We're done. Our whole relationship has been a lie.
Chad: No it hasn't. I just couldn't risk getting hurt.
Sonny: So instead you hurt me. (leaves)
Sonny: No, I rather set sail on the Titanic. At least those people got a nice meal before they went down.
Sonny: (sees Chaz in a wheelchair and bandaged all over) What did you do to Chaz Milton Looper?!
Grady: We broke him, we broke him bad.
Episode 17.A So Random Halloween Special
The Check It Out Girls Sketch:
Sonny: (dressed up like Tawni) Check out my Halloween costume! I went as you!
Tawni: (dressed up like Sonny) Check it out! I went as you!
Sonny and Tawni: Check it out, we went as each other!
Nico: The dude is 8 feet tall. How do you lose 8 feet a dude?
Sonny: Okay then Zora, we need you to stall. We have 8 feet of dude to find.
Zora: No no no!
(The So Random cast pushes Zora on set and give her some ideas to stall.)
Episode 18.Sonny with a 100% Chance of Meddling
Announcer: Are you ready to get So Random?
Announcer: Remember all those great songs from summer camp?
Tawni and Nico: Sure!
Announcer: Well, what about the ones you haven't heard of?
Tawni and Nico: Haven't heard them!
Announcer: Yes, it's Counselor Jenny (Sonny) and Dan Dan the Guitar Man (Grady) singing the songs that got them fired from over 100 camps. Truly awful songs like "Counselor Spread a Rumor".
Sonny: (singing) Gather around the campfire spark and hear how Ben's afraid of the dark.
Grady: (playing the guitar and singing) He cries at night when the lights go out. He weeps like a baby, he screams and shouts.
Sonny and Grady: Everyone points when they see him go by. That's the reason he's shy.
Announcer: And that's not all. You'll also get heartless classics like "Your Homesick (But Your Parents Don't Care)".
Grady: You cry because your homesick at night.
Sonny: Yes you do!
Grady: You think your parents miss you. You're not right.
Sonny: You're dead wrong!
Grady and Sonny: Your mom and dad are clapping. They don't have to hear your yapping.
Grady: And yes they said...
Grady and Sonny: Not to call!
Announcer: And the insensitive hits keep on coming!
Sonny: (singing) A kid got wedgied by the lake last year. The lake last year, the lake last year. A kid got wedgied by the lake last year and now his undies are hanging from a flagpole. (looks menacingly at the the kids)
(The kids stare at her scared and shocked.)
Announcer: Yes, it's 24 songs, sung by two terrible people!
Grady and Sonny: Order now!
Sonny: (frowns) Or else.
Tawni and Nico: We will! (reaches for the phone)
Zora: No you won't!
Tawni: (is mad and staring at her lipstick)
Sonny: (walks in and singing) A kid got wedgied by the lake last year-
Tawni: (turns to Sonny) What did you do?!
Sonny: The machine gave me an extra granola bar! What was I suppose to do?! Put it back?
Tawni: I don't care about that.
Sonny: Good, cause I didn't.
Tawni: Well you used my lipstick.
Sonny: No, I didn't. Trust me, the only thing touching these lips is this granola bar. Followed shortly by this granola bar. (shows Tawni another granola bar)
Tawni: Well if you didn't use my Cocoa Moco Cocoa then who did?
At the cafeteria:
Grady: (eating yogurt) Hey did I get any yogurt on my face?
Nico: Question is did you get any in your mouth.
Sonny: So Zora, who was that cute boy you were flirting with?
Zora: I wasn't flirting.
Sonny: Then why'd you flick a pea at him?
Zora: I don't know.
Tawni: Do you like him?
Zora: I don't know.
Sonny: Does he like you?
Zora: I don't know.
Tawni: What do you know?
Zora: That you're annoying me.
Sonny: But without me she wou-
Tawni: No! Sonny, every time you sprinkle your rainbows and cheddar dust all over a situation it ends poorly. So don't meddle.
Chad: Cut! Take five! Milady on the set! (throws a imaginary lasso at Sonny and pulls the lasso)
Sonny: (not moving)
Chad: (still pulling the lasso)
Sonny: (shakes her head) Really? Sonny it up?
Chad: (wrapping the lasso) Yeah, that's the word you use when meddling just won't do.
Sonny: (throws the imaginary lasso down) Put that down.
Chad: (moves the lasso away)
Chad: (talking about Wesley) I'm so proud of him.
Sonny: What about me?
Chad: Oh, you're totally going to Sonny it up.
Wesley: (to Sonny) I'm a man, baby.
Sonny: You're a baby, man!
Tawni: Oh, so I guess the meddling worked out..
Sonny: It's for me.
Tawni: exactly like I thought it would.
Zora: Hey ladies. Sonny, how is your boyfriend? (singing) Mine's great. Don't worry Tawni, you'll find you someone.
Tawni: (stares at Zora blankly) Hey Zora, look what Westley sent.
Chad: I was gonna send you a cheese basket. (looks at the cheese basket again) Wait, I was gonna send you that cheese basket. Wesley, you mini-Macking on my girlfriend?
Wesley: I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Big Mac. But there's always someone younger and prettier.
Chad: (laughs) It's true. Got some bad news for you though. (puts his arm around Sonny) Sonny would never date an out of work actor.
Wesley: I'm not an out of work actor.
Chad: You are now. Security! (security carries Wesley away)
Wesley: Hey! No! No! You'll hear from my agent!
Chad: Peace out lil' sucker! See? Big Mack' got your back. (winks)
Sonny: Gosh, I feel terrible. If I hadn't meddled he'd still have a job and Zora wouldn't be out to get me.
(A sandbag almost falls on Sonny.)
Sonny: (screams) That sandbag has revenge written all over it! (runs away)
Chad: That's what you get when you Sonny it up!
Zora: (reading a letter) I like my women like I like my cheese. Sharp. Oh, he thinks i'm sharp. Finely aged. I am two months older than him. And from Wisconsin.
Tawni: Wisconsin? Who do we know from Wisconsin?
Zora: Sonny. The basket's for Sonny. Why is the basket for Sonny?
Sonny: This is a funny story. He thought that when I asked from pizza, I was asking him to join me for pizza.
Zora: Cradle robber!
Tawni: (laughs) This is a funny story
Episode 19.Dakota's Revenge
Tawni: Is it bad? Tell me it's not bad.
Sonny: It's not bad.
Tawni: Oh good. Good.
Sonny: (picks up Dakota's bicycle handle and goes to Tawni) It's worse than bad! We ran over Dakota's new bike! We're dead, dead, dead! (crying)
Tawni: But I was the driver which makes me deader, deader, deader! (crying)
(Dakota's loser alarm goes off.)
Tawni: Now we're losers!
Zora: (points to locations on the map) Here is where she has her morning temper tantrum, afternoon tantrum, ballet class, and evening tantrum.
Tawni: This is ridiculous. We're never going to get that bell. It would be easier to get her kidney.
Zora: Oh, you want her kidney. That would be this map. (flips the page)
Sonny and Tawni: (screaming in disgust and yells at Zora to put it away)
Zora: (turns the paper)
Tawni: Thank you.
Dakota: (sleep talking) Find bike thief. Rip head off. Have daddy fire headless body.
Tawni: Now is our chance.
Sonny:(cuts the bell)
Dakota: (sleep talking) Play soccer with bike thief's head. (sits up and still sleep talking) Goal! Yay! (lies back down)
Sonny and Tawni: (run out of the prop house)
Episode 20.Sonny With a Kiss
Chad: This interview is over because you're a crazy lady.
Tawni: Sonny and Chad sitting in a tree. That's it, just sitting.
Chad: Like I'm going to take advice from two guys who are dating their pillows.
Chad: I've got a meeting I don't wanna kiss. Miss. That was a kisstake. Mistake. Shut it! (walks off)
Nico and Grady: Patriots!
(Everyone starts chanting "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!")
Sonny: (stands up) Oh come on people! Do you really think this is where we're going to have our first kiss? Especially since he has stinky mustard breath?
Chad: Yeah! Hey what?
Sonny: No, no. Doesn't... doesn't bother me at all. (looks at wrist with no watch) Oh look at the time. I gotta call my grandmother in Wisconkiss. Kissconsin. You know what? Shut it, Tawni! (leaves)
Tawni: Wow, it bothers her more than I hoped it would. Ha, I win.
Nico: And if he wants it back he's gonna have to go through you first!
Grady: Just me?
Sonny: It's like you and... that muffin! Gosh, take a breath.
Tawni: See, this is what a spark looks like.
Chad: (On the phone) No comments, no comments. Look, I am tired of hearing this, I will kiss Sonny when I'm ready. (kiddie voice) Okay mommy, I love you too. (pretending to kiss her and hangs up)
Tawni: I've put together a catalogue of boys I've rejected that I think would settle for you. (hands catalogue to Sonny)
Sonny: (takes catalogue) Aww, Tawni. You know, it's in moments like this you learn to appreciate having real friends.
Sonny: (puts down catalogue and stands up) I'm gonna go find one.
Nico: (to Grady) I told you there's no such thing as ghosts.
(Chad comes out of Sonny's dressing room screaming covered with a white blanket) (Nico and Grady run away screaming)
Episode 21.A So Random Holiday Special
Sicky Vicky: Merry Sickmas everybody!
Shelly: Is it a puppy?!
Shelly's Mom: Better!
Shelly: Is it a baby brother?!
Shelly's Dad: Somebody's!
Shelly: (gasps) No way! (rips the wrapping and the package was Joe Jonas
trapped inside a life size toy box)
Joe: Let me out!
Shelly: Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! You got me Joe Jonas for Christmas! (opens the box)
Joe: What am I doing in here? (looks around)
Shelly: Mommy, he's so lifelike. I wonder if he wets himself.
Joe: Not since I was six. What's going on here? One minute I'm walking on stage. The next minute there's a burlap sack over my head. And now I'm a Christmas present?!
Shelly: The best Christmas present ever! (hugs Joe)
Shelly's Mom: Yes he is sweetie. And you know what? We got you all of the accessories!
Shelly's Dad: Uh huh! The Joe Jonas Car!
Joe: You stole my car?!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Sonny Munroe and Joe Jonas.
(Music starts playing)
Sonny: (singing) Didn't know what to get you, ordinary just wouldn't do. But I just found my perfect gift for you. I hear church bells ringing. (Joe joins in) Carolers are singing, harmony with me now. (smiles at Joe)
Joe: (singing and looks at Sonny) You are looking so lovely. (Sonny joins in) Even if the lights go out. We got mistletoe and firelight on this cold December night. The snow outside will set the mood as I sing my song.
Sonny, Joe and So Random Cast: We've got mistletoe.
Sonny, Joe and So Random Cast: And firelight
Joe: And firelight.
Sonny, Joe and So Random Cast: On this cold December night. The snow outside will set the mood as I sing my song for you.
Sonny: Sing my song. (Joe joins in) Sing my song for you.
Episode 22.Sonny with a Grant
Sonny: Oh well... Maybe I should date Efron then...
Chad: Do not even joke about that!
Grady: (annoyed) Everything always goes Grant's way.
Sonny: (wearing funny glasses) Okay great first day of camp guys. Now remember pies are for eating not throwing. (ducks down after a pie is thrown at her) I know what cabin you sleep in Brian! (closes the door then her cellphone rings and she takes off the glasses) Hello?
Chad: Sonny? Sonny? I can't hear you. Hold on, I'll try on to move around, find a good spot.
Sonny: Chad? Hey I can't hear you either. The reception's horrible.
Chad: (moving around) Thank you, you're adorable too. I gave my list to Mr. Condor.
Sonny: No I didn't see a condor, but I think I saw a eagle.
Chad: No! No, no, no. Everything I'm asking for is legal!
Sonny: Okay, I'm not sure what you're asking but my advice is don't be greedy.
Chad: That is great advice! I will be greedy!
Sonny: No! Why would you beat Grady? (door knocks and Sonny opens it) Brian put that pie down. (ducks again) I gotta go. (hangs up)
Chad: (running) You'll never replace me!
Grant: I'm the new Mackenzie!
Grady: You're the new Mackenzie?
Grant: I'm the new Mackenzie!
Chad: (being carried by security guards) You're the new Mackenzie?
Grant: I am the new Mackenzie! Delta Nu!
Episode 23.Marshall with a Chance
Nico: Is it in the salmon?
Sonny: (eats the salmon) Aw, it's just fishy.
Grady: (covered in water) So, uh, so did Marshall like the sketch?
Sonny: Oh my gosh! I hit send!
(The So Random cast start panicking and screaming)
The Next Day:
(Sonny, Tawni, Nico and Grady are all waiting nervously in Marshall's office.)
Sonny: (nervously playing with a spring toy)
Tawni: (takes the spring toy away)
Sonny: Sorry. I feel like I just got called to the principal's office.
Tawni: I was home schooled. I feel like I'm in my mother's kitchen.
Grady: Uh, excuse me Mr. Savege, define incident.
Stanley: (gets closer to Grady and shows him his pinky) The pinky is overated. (curls his pinky and makes a bone crunching sound)
(Banging is heard from the sarcophagus.)
Stanley: (opens the sarcophagus and sees Zora inside)
Stanely: I knew we were one short. Now get in line!
Zora: (stands next to Sonny)
Stanley: (yelling) Now here's the deal. Your sketches are weak, your jokes are flabby and your characters are as (holds Zora's arm) underdeveloped as this guy's arms.
Zora: I'm a twelve year old girl!
Stanley: No excuse!
Sonny: It kinda is?
Sonny, Tawni, Nico and Zora: (fighting each other with staffs) Knock knock, who's there. Knock knock, who's there.
Grady: Us? Us? (turns to the wrong direction but Nico turns him) Hello? Temporary wasabi blindness.
Sonny: There is no way I'm going to let that happen! (goes after Marshall)
Tawni: Get her!
Nico: (picks Sonny up and carries her out) We're not going to let that happen!
Sonny: Stop it! Put me down!
Grady: (takes off the glasses) It's a miracle!
Nico: You can see!
Grady: No, Marshall is coming back.
Episode 24.Sonny with a Choice
Sonny: So win or lose--
So Random Cast: Lose.
Sonny: Or win.
So Random Cast: Or lose!
Chloe: It's gonna blow!
Ryan: And the Choicey goes to...
(The MacKenzie Falls cast stand up.)
Ryan: Mac...aroni and cheese, it's So Random!
(The So Random cast stand up, extremely excited and happy and go on the stage. Chad and the Mackenzie Falls cast sit back down.)
Tawni: Well, well, well. Oh gosh, I have something that I've been waiting to say for five years! To my friends at Mackenzie Falls-
Sonny: High road.
Tawni: To my friends at Mackenzie Falls-
Sonny: (interrupts Tawni) IN YOUR FACE MACKENZIE FALLS! YEAH! OH YEAH! IN YOUR FACE! WE WON AND YOU THOUGHT WE'D LOSE! BUT GUESS WHAT? WE WON! WHOO! (calms down) Uh, what I meant to say was...thank you.
Chad: (shocked and frowning)
Nico: But I spelled Grady right!
Grady: (pauses) Come here buddy! (hugs Nico and laughs)
Chad: (enters) Hey! What's up, Randoms? How are we enjoying this fine day?
Sonny: Oh hey there Chad Dylan Chipper.
Chad: Oh that I am. That I am. (whispers to Sonny) Figured out to solve our little problem.
Sonny: Oh great. (to the So Random cast) Hey guys, could you give us five minutes?
Zora: Sure. Hey, who wants to take a taxi ride to see where they make Chad park his car now?
(The So Random cast laugh and leave.)
Chad: (laughs) It's funny 'cause it's true.
Sonny: Wow, you're being an awfully good sport.
Chad: There's no reason not to be. So I've been thinking about what you said about how I was letting So Random's win get between us and I wanted to fix it.
Sonny: (sits down) See? I knew you would get past this.
Chad: (sits down) I had to, for us. (holds Sonny's hands)
Sonny: Gosh, it feels so good to hear that from you. Some silly award shouldn't get between us.
Chad: I totally agree. So I ordered a recount for the Best Tween Show.
Sonny: You did what now?
Chad: I ordered a recount. Great news, So Random lost. (smiles)
Sonny: (sad) I can't believe this.
Chad: What that you lost? Oh, don't worry about it. You'll get use to it. I did.
Sonny: No you didn't. (stands up) You ordered a recount, Chad. Why would you even think about doing that?
Chad: (stands up) You felt weird about winning, I felt weird about losing and now thanks to me, we don't have to feel weird anymore.
Sonny: (still sad)
Chad: But you do have a very weird look on your face.
Sonny: It's called disappointment, Chad. You were so miserable that you weren't the center of attention for one day that you went out and ordered a recount?
Chad: Whoa. I just wanted things to go back to normal like I promised.
Sonny: Normal? Oh, you mean the normal where you always win and I always lose? I don't like that normal. Boyfriends and girlfriends are suppose to support each other, root for each other. I can't be in a relationship with someone who always put himself first.
Chad: I did this for us.
Sonny: No, Chad. (gives Chad the Tween Choice Award) The only us now is between you and this award. I hope you two will be very happy together.
Chad: Are you breaking up with me because I thought I was helping.
Sonny: That's the worst part. Goodbye Chad.
Chad: Sonny don't do this.
Sonny: No, just go.
Chad: I just-
Sonny: Chad, there are no second chances this time. I'm sorry. You won the recount but you lost me.
Chad: (puts the Tween Choice Award down and begins to leave but turns around one last time)
Sonny: (not looking at Chad)
Sonny: (tears fall out of her eyes) I know you guys are up there.
(Tawni, Zora, Nico and Grady are upstairs eavesdropping and go down to Sonny.)
Sonny: (sitting) I'm sorry we lost.
Tawni: I don't care about that right now.
Grady: Yeah, none of us do.
Tawni: Tomorrow we will. Tomorrow I'll be perfecting my "Chad is dead to me" glare.
(Tawni, Nico, Grady and Zora sit down with Sonny.)"
Nico: Yeah and we'll be all painting on Chad's posters.
Zora: Yes and a certain Someone Dylan Cooper will be hairless.
(They all laugh.)
Tawni: But what right now, what we care about is you.
Sonny: (smiles) Thanks guys.
(They all hug.)
Tawni: You know, we could turn back the clock and pretend nothing horrible has happened yet and we're still winners.
Sonny: I appreciate that but I'd rather not turn back the clock. I'm fine right here.
(They all hug again.)
Episode 25.New Girl
sonny:hey chad:hey sonny:what are you doing here? chad:oh me i thought i lost my glasses here sonny:you do wear glasses chad:sunglasses sonny:maybe you should try the beach chad:the thing is i really liked those glasses
Sonny: Maybe if you let those sunglasses have their moment in the sun, maybe they wouldn't have broken up with you.
This page was last edited on 18 October 2020, at 04:00.