The term gifted is a pretty common word.  Parents use it.  Teachers use it.  Even people in the media use it.  Unfortunately, not everyone has the same definition of it in mind.  Our ability to communicate is based on a shared meaning of the words we use, so when we try to talk to each other about giftedness without having a shared meaning of the term, we aren't going to get very far.

Imagine trying to have conversations when everyone had his or her own definition for words.  You would feel just like Alice when she tried to talk to Humpty Dumpty, who said, "When I use a word...it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less."   Can you talk about breakfast when you really mean dinner?

Now imagine a conversation with someone about babies.  In your mind you see an infant, sleeping in your arms or in a crib.  The other person begins by talking about feeding pieces of crackers to her baby, which you find a rather risky thing to do.  Maybe you question it and the answer you get is that babies have no trouble eating crackers.  You might even get a look like you are a little crazy for thinking babies could have trouble eating something as harmless as crackers.  So you shift your understanding of baby in this instance to mean an older baby, probably one who is eating solids.

But then the other person starts talking about feeding her baby hot dogs.  That you think is too much, but then you assume that this baby is much older and is eating the next stage of solid foods, the kind that is beyond the pureed type. So you once again shift your understanding of the term baby to mean a baby who has already well into the teething stage. 

However, when the other person starts talking about mustard, relish, and hot dog buns, you begin to think that the baby in this case is not a baby in any sense you think of when you hear the word, but is most likely an older toddler if not a preschooler.  Some people do refer to almost any age child as a baby.

Unlike the world Through the Looking Glass, people don't make up their own meanings for words, but may use one of several common meanings. What would allow you to continually shift your understanding of the word baby is your understanding of the varied ways people use the word.  However, you would have to be aware of those meanings.

Knowing the various meanings of the word gifted can work the same way.  If you are aware of those meanings, you can shift your understanding of what your friends, family and your child's teacher are saying about gifted children in general and your gifted child in particular.  And you can alter the way you talk about your child so that those you talk to will be better able to understand you.

Some gifted kids are misdiagnosed with ADHD, but other kids are both gifted and ADHD.  Parents of children who have been diagnosed with ADHD are faced with the decision of whether or not to give their children medication.  Moonunit88 is one such parent and is asking for help in the forum:

"I have a gifted child -7yr old boy - who has also been identified as ADD.  The last thing I ever wanted to do was medicate him, but I'm beginning to think it might help.  Any thoughts, advice?"

If you have some ideas for her, visit the forum and share them!

Emily Johns, writer for the Star Tribune of Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minnesota, had good advice for parents looking to find the right school for their children: Remember that "Every child is different; the best school for one isn't necessarily best for another." 

I couldn't agree more with her.  It is important, as she says, to consider what schools have to offer and which one would be the best fit for your child.  The one problem with what she says in her article Plan ahead to find right school for your child is that the fit seems to be more parent than child directed.  She asks, "Do you want your child to speak a second language? Or be a math and science whiz?"  I understand that a parent might want a child to learn another language, but can we make a child a math "whiz" if math is not that child's strength?  I would prefer asking questions like "Is your child good with language?  Does your child enjoy math?"

If you are looking for the right school or program for your gifted child, you definitely want to make sure it is the best fit for your child.  Take a look at the schools and programs and see if they meet the criteria of a good program for gifted kids.  The kind of programming available is more important than whether the school is a public or private one.

When my son was in first grade, I found that my previously very happy, confident son, who had been so full of the love of life, had become a very unhappy, problem child in school, who was so angry, he yelled and kicked tables and chairs.  His behavior became such a problem that his teacher told me that he was "severely emotionally disturbed."  I'm a single mom and it was suggested that this emotional disturbance was the result of a fatherless home. 

I finally managed to schedule a meeting with the teacher -- and my son -- to discuss how we could solve the problem.  The teacher wanted me to take my son for counseling, but my son had a different idea: he wanted to be appointed the official class science expert.  He wanted to be like Dorothy Ann in The Magic School Bus, and say, "According to my research...."  Previously, he had not been allowed even to bring his science books to school.  The teacher agreed and my son was able to bring his many science books to school.

Virtually overnight, my son's behavior improved.  The anger completely disappeared and he was no longer disruptive.  All he had wanted was a chance to use what he knew and to be able to refer to his books when something related came up in class.

Has your child had behavior problems at school that disappeared when the environment changed?  Click on the "Comments" button and share your story.