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In Memory of Associate Dean Carol Q. O’Neil
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Celebration of Carol O’Neil's Life: A reception will immediately follow in the church's Benedict Hall. Relatives and friends may call at: Memorial Contributions: An Interfaith Service in Carol O’Neil’s Memory:
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Associate Dean Carol Q. O’Neil
June 26, 1947 – June 1, 2010 Georgetown University Law Center mourns the death of Associate Dean Carol Q. O’Neil (L’88), who died Tuesday. She was 62. Please send your fond memories and condolences via email to: We will post selected e-mails to this website so that all can share in the memory of Dean O’Neil. Remembrances of Carol O’Neil Dean O’Neil was a favorite member of the GULC to me. She was kind, intelligent, and always had time. I recall my first semester running the bookstore at the Law Center, there were a number of problems with publishers, and I remember Dean O’Neil as a supportive presence, taking the time to meet with me and help resolve issues in a quick, insightful, good-humored way. Thereafter, whenever I saw her, she went out of her way to greet me with genuine warmth. She valued every member of the Law Center community, and she will be missed. – Lori Solomon I can think of no one who better embodied the words of Saint Francis: Carol was simply the ablest, kindest, most selfless person you could ever meet. She was the "go-to" person for almost everything at the law center. And she always handled whatever it was with tact, extreme competence, and good cheer. Just for one example, countless lawyers were always approaching me about teaching at Georgetown. I knew that by sending them to Carol, they would come away with a warm friendly feeling about Georgetown and a feeling the matter was handled fairly and competently, even if we could not accommodate them. It was the same with everything I ever sent her way--and there were many things she handled for me, for the faculty, for students, and for the community, unstintingly of her time and effort. We will sorely miss her, but we take some comfort in the fact that we were fortunate to get to know her. A person like this doesn't come along often, if at all, in one's lifetime. Dean O’Neil was truly a caring, compassionate and dedicated professional. I remember meeting with her in her office one afternoon, and it was so apparent how much she enjoyed speaking with law students and how compassionate she was on so many fronts. I will always remember her warmth, smile, and dedication to her job and to the Law Center. I am terribly sorry to hear the news and know that the entire Law Center community has truly lost a treasured friend. She and I didn’t talk that often, but whenever we passed in the hallway, her genuine cheerfulness was always engaging. It seems so odd because it was actually almost a year ago when I discovered that the Carol and I had something in common – we both liked animals! Carol, wherever you are right now, I pray that your wonderful spirit is at peace, and that you have lots of animals all around you. Thank you for being the kind soul that you are! Thoughtfully, Carol was my supervisor for four of my six years working at Georgetown Law, and she was not only an exemplary leader, she was also a role model and friend to those who were lucky enough to work for her. She had an amazing eye for detail, limitless patience, and an unconditional positive regard for everyone. She loved discussing books, her family, and always encouraged me to pursue my passions. Her life and how she lived it have left an imprint on me, as I am sure it has for many others. She will be missed. There are some people who touch your life more deeply than you realize. Carol was such a person. I had the good fortune to work with and learn from Carol for more than a decade. Her thoughtful, deliberate approach to every issue instilled confidence in her decisions. I remember several thorny student issues that required tremendous patience and diplomacy on her part. Carol knew how to balance competing considerations to arrive at a fair resolution. In my experience few administrators and leaders do that exceptionally well. Thankfully, Carol did. I am grateful for the opportunity to have known her and am truly saddened by her loss. Carol is the reason why I am a law professor today. I served as an adjunct professor for the first time in 1997. It was a difficult seminar. Lots of complicated material; not a lot of time. My teaching evaluations at the end of the semester were lackluster. I concluded and shared with Carol that I simply was not cut out for teaching. She vehemently disagreed and spent several long telephone calls with me brainstorming about how I could adjust my syllabus, my teaching approach and techniques to have things turn out better the next year. I implemented all of Carol’s advice. The next year, my teaching evaluations were among the strongest of the many adjunct professors. Carol called me to tell me so and to congratulate me. Several years later, Carol served as a reference and cheerleader for me when I went into the teaching market. She helped me land several great tenure-track offers. I am assuming the associate deanship for academic and faculty affairs at American University Washington College of Law in 2 months. I will model myself after Carol. She will continue to be my guide. How very many law students and lawyers and law professors Carol must have touched in her life. She has changed the world. What a life well lived. I just wish we could have had her in our midst for longer. Tony Varona – Anthony E. Varona God takes the best people first.
Dean O’Neil was an amazing woman, a great mentor and friend. She was a tremendous asset to GULC and she will truly be missed. Words cannot really describe how wonderful she was. I feel blessed to have had the opportunity to work with her. Carol O’Neil helped hire me as an adjunct faculty member over 20 years ago and remained a friend and colleague since then. On my visits with her before or after class during the last two decades, she remained as genuinely interested in my teaching experience - and more importantly - in me as a person, as she was that first year. In our chats, we would discuss the law, family (our daughters were in the same college class) and the "big ideas" she liked to explore in her readings, dinners and conversations with colleagues Her intellectual curiosity, optimism and faith always impressed me. Carol epitomizes what is best about the values that Georgetown promotes both at the Law Center and University. For me, Carol provided a real, humane and warm connection that forever will very favorably color her and the institution. I know she did the same for countless other individuals - faculty and students - and we all are much richer for having known her. Georgetown Law is a better place for having had her there. I and my family send our sincere condolences and prayers to husband Joe, daughter Anne and the countless other family members and friends who will so dearly miss her. Writing a few lines about Carol O’Neil is a much harder task than I imagined when I started. I have long been amazed by the number of people who looked to Carol as a mentor and role model, and a source of wise counsel and prudent judgment. My story is by no means unique; I will share it nevertheless as witness to the blessing Carol was to all who knew her. I was graced to meet Carol at an evening event during my 1L year at the Law Center. With characteristic generosity, she drove me home afterwards, and we enjoyed wonderful conversation. Carol’s passion for teaching and learning at the Law Center entranced me. She had such a wide variety of interests and was always brimming with ideas. She encouraged me to look beyond myself—to imagine possibilities where I perceived obstacles. I sought Carol’s advice about classes, and later, about jobs and career transitions. Indeed, Carol suggested that I apply for a professorship when the faculty voted to expand the LRW program. Her enthusiasm caught my attention; in the long run, her wisdom and patience is responsible for my presence at the Law Center today. I applied in Fall 2006 and ultimately withdrew my candidacy, not quite ready to uproot my life in Massachusetts. Carol’s generous understanding of that decision left the door open for me to reconsider the next academic year. I reapplied in Fall 2007, and the rest is history. One particular interaction Carol had with my son Timothy speaks to her gentle and precious soul. Timothy and my wife Luci visited the Law Center as I was starting work here. Aged a little more than two, Timothy was restless and rambunctious. Laying aside good sense, we paid a visit to the Dean’s office to see Carol. Timothy leapt into Carol’s arms and settled immediately. I like to think that children are the best judge of character; Timothy sensed love and trust and responded in kind, just as so many in our community have. In the all-too-short time that we overlapped here, I hope that I realized what a treasure I had in Carol’s open door and open heart. I pray that I did not take her for granted, and that Carol knew in life what she meant to so many of us. Aware of Carol’s deeply engaged Catholic faith, I take comfort in prayers drawn from the Rite of Christian Funerals: For Carol, life is changed, not ended, now. She has left the body of her earthly dwelling and is now among the saints in glory. I pray that one day, through the mercy of God, we will gather again with Carol in the joy of the heavenly feast. Carol was my student, but in so many ways I sat at her feet for these twenty plus years. The words do not come easily; they are crowded out by emotions of loss, of gratitude, and of love. So many have written emails that, in words, try to capture the essence of this amazing Carol who, in her quiet way, served us all. Indeed, she was the soul of service, service that respected the other, that built the other as it served. Each of us watched her deal with a crisis, an angry student or frustruted faculty member, a staff person in distress. And with her love, her gentleness, she reached out and made it better, resolving with integrity whatever issue it might be and leaving the other feeling served and loved. This is a gift that all of us will carry the rest of our lives. I will close with my favorite poem, which in some small way is my attempt to capture this beautiful bird called Carol: He drew a circle that shut me out -- “Outwitted” by Edwin Markham, Dec. 1925 – Professor Sherman L. Cohn When we began our Georgetown Management Orientation Program and needed someone to explain the impact the culture of the university has on management, Carol O’Neil was at the top of our list to present this important topic. Fortunately, she agreed to be a part of the program. Dean O’Neil’s presentation at GMO captures why we all loved her so much. The newly hired managers who attended this session were asked to:
The goals, Dean O’Neil explained meant that all managers needed to:
Dean O’Neil was a gift to us all, and I personally will miss her for the rest of my life. Her guidance, support, and great humor are simply irreplaceable. Dean O’Neil was truly a ray of sunshine here at Georgetown Law. I will miss her warm and genuine smile. Dean O’Neil was full of grace and purposeful energy. She would pick you out on an elevator full of people—speak a kind word that brought joy to your day. I will treasure the good memories that I have of Dean O’Neil. I know that the terms Kindness, Warmth, Savoir Faire, Friendship, Support, Diplomacy and Willingness are all aspects of Carol to remember… And anyone who´s life she touched knows as well, that these words come quite short to even describe a lady with such a tender smile. Carol never seemed to have a bad day, like the rest of us do… Carol never seemed to need to rush somewhere, like the rest of us think we do… Carol never seemed to be too busy to listen to you with close attention, like the rest of us believe we are… Not long after I joined Georgetown in 2002 I came to realize that Carol was a super-human who made an enormous amount of things happen… someone whose recommendations were always heartfelt… and, above all, an incredible role model who you could watch for days and gather life lessons one after another… Friday June 27th, 2008 was the day I last said goodbye to her, as I left the Law Center to move back to Spain... It is now that I realize that, despite the distance, she´ll be with me wherever I go and I feel extremely fortunate to count her as part of my life. The passing of Carol O’Neil is such a shattering experience for me. I have known and worked with Carol ever since she came to us in the Dean’s office and I cannot imagine a nicer, more effective person for the positions she held. Always friendly, always helpful, always anxious to assist, she was a treasure for all of us who had occasion to work with her. Outside the office, she was invariably friendly and nice. I cannot tell you how much I will miss this wonderful person. Your absence will be felt every day, Carol, but your spirit will never leave us. You taught us how to live by example. We will honor you by continuing to follow your lead. Dean O’Neil was the personification of the saying that “Love is Perfect Kindness.” I retired from GULC in September 2008 and felt like I was leaving family behind me. Carol made a significant contribution to that family feeling of belonging. I am deeply grateful for the warmth and wisdom she brought into my life. I worked as Dean O'Neil's assistant for 5+ years in the early 1990s, and we've kept in touch a bit over the years. In reading the earlier posts on this memorial site, I keep nodding my head in agreement with the sentiments about what a truly wonderful person Dean O'Neil was. While there are just too many fond memories of my time with her, I'd like to share just a few standout examples that show what kind of person she was. When I've gone on interviews for various jobs over the years, all of my interviewers have sat across the desk from me to conduct the interviews. All, that is, except one: Dean O'Neil. Instead, she came to my side of the desk and sat beside me to have a conversation instead of an interrogation, and to make me feel comfortable and less nervous. That's the kind of person Carol Q. O'Neil was. (Or CQO'N, as many of us affectionately called her.) I was in a diner near GU main campus one day when I ran into a GULC law student who had been in to see Dean O'Neil for academic and personal counseling. I asked the student why she was over near main campus, and she said she studied over there rather than at the Law Center, because the law school was what she termed a pressure cooker. She said, "Dean O'Neil is the only exception -- she is such an angel. I go into her office stressed and confused, and I come out calm and reassured." That's the kind of person Dean O'Neil was. A renowned law professor was visiting, and he asked her to have someone come to his office and close his blinds for him because he couldn't figure out how they worked (this really happened). Another time he asked if she could have someone jump start his car for him. Both times, she didn't hesitate in saying Yes, and both times we did the jobs ourselves. Dean O'Neil truly believed that our mission was to help the faculty do their jobs, so that each law student could have the best law school experience possible. She therefore believed that we didn't just have one area of responsibility; anything anyone asked us to do, we did. No passing the buck, and no job was too small, all for the good of the students. That was the kind of person Dean O'Neil was. I could go on, but you get the idea. Carol O'Neil was kind, fair, warm, dedicated, one of the hardest workers I've ever known, smart, friendly, and caring. What I think I'll miss most is her smile, usually with a small tilt of her head, and a twinkle in her eye. Somehow it made everyone feel special. “When in doubt, talk to Carol.” I have followed that adage for all of my 16 years on the faculty and Carol always came through—resolving difficulties large and small with uncommon sense, enviable discretion, and never-ending patience. She was such an incredible professional in every sense—and she defined good judgment and competency. But I did not consult her merely for solutions. I went to see Carol because, like so many others, I loved and trusted her. I always felt better for having spent five minutes in her company. I might roar into Carol’s office, in high dudgeon for one silly reason or another, but in minutes she would oh-so-gently lead me to understand the constructive way to solve whatever problem had brought me to her. Then we would chat—Carol always found time—and laugh. How could someone invested with such concentrated virtue be such excellent company? Carol had the most difficult job in the Law Center, which she did with extraordinary grace. She was herself a truly good person, but she was not a naïf. If one of our community was being less than constructive (her term—mine would be more colorful), Carol might acknowledge it with a raised eyebrow or a smile. She was as clear-eyed as any in her assessment of character and motivation. But in sixteen years of constant conversation, I never heard her utter an unkind word about anyone. She always chose to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to assume that if she treated even the most contentious among us with respect and consideration, they would come to their senses. And they did, for Carol. Carol’s warmth and humor—the confidence she inspired that all would be OK just because she was on the job—the serenity with which I invariably left her office—those were rare gifts indeed. What is extraordinary is the number of people with whom she shared these same gifts. I cannot believe that I will never again see her neat figure rounding the corner or have a quick chat by the elevator bank as she runs off to a meeting on main campus. It seems impossible that Carol and I will never again share a laugh. My disbelief has been echoed in every corner of the building over the last few days. We are bereft. I have spent a lot of time since Carol’s death wishing that I had not burdened her with so much—wishing that I could give Carol and her family back every second she spent considering my problems or concerns. But that would be denying much of what was so extraordinary about Carol: her humanity, generosity, and selflessness. It is these qualities that made her the heart and soul of the Law Center as well as an inspiration to so many of us. She is not gone from us so long as we remember this, as I know we will. I saw Carol laugh, cry, fight, embrace, understand, pacify, comfort, empathize, lead and organize. Her humanity made others more human. In the words of the poet Pablo Neruda: Puedo escribir los versos más tristes esta noche. I can write the saddest verses this night. Carol hired me as an adjunct professor 18 years ago. She was a trusted friend and advisor to adjuncts, and she was always available for questions or discussions. When you spoke to her, she really listened, as if you were the only person in the world. She always had the best interests of the students in mind. When I suggested in 1998 that GULC offer for the first time a Negotiation Seminar in an intensive weekend format, she became a champion for the idea, as well as other ADR courses. Once when she mentioned to me that the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) was building three new structures across the street from her condo which were blocking her view, I reminded her that I was an attorney for the FDIC and worked in that very building. She jokingly suggested that it would be a good test of my negotiation skills to see what I could do to get the plans modified to preserve her view. Sorry Carol – I let you down and the buildings went up. Her wisdom and guidance will stay with me forever and her spirit is reflected in every minute that I teach and learn from my students. I am grateful to her family and the GULC community for sharing this amazing individual and allowing her to touch my life. With gratitude, I worked with Dean O’Neil at the Deans’ Office so many moons ago. And yet, I still smile when I utter her name. She was a pleasure to work with. She taught me much. And although I did not eventually go into law, I learned from her outlook on life, and how she parented her daughter. I am saddened by her passing. But I also feel lucky to have known her at one point in my life! Thank you, Dean O’Neil. Carol O’Neil is the reason I came to Georgetown Law. In summer 2004 Carol had been promoted to Associate Dean and invited me to interview to succeed her in the JD Programs office. (Of course I was blissfully ignorant that hers were enormous shoes to fill!) During a quiet moment in a long day of interviews, I asked Carol what had sustained her in the job for 14 years. She paused for a moment, and then smiled that genuine, knowing, Carol smile. She told me that even on her toughest days – dealing with a student crisis, a faculty crisis, a staff crisis, usually all three at once – she knew she could make a small difference for people she cared about. She added that the difference was worth making because the Georgetown community was “a gem”, at once intellectually stirring and unusually humane. I knew then that I wanted to work for and with Carol. It was not hard to see that she possessed a rare – perhaps unique – combination of intellect, warmth, insight, determination and compassion. And I would soon come to see that Carol, consummately humble, had actually played a huge role in shaping the community she praised. But despite her obvious generosity of spirit, I could not have predicted during that interview what an impact Carol would have on my life over the next six years. On any given day, Carol mentored me, commiserated with me, sent me weblinks to funny pictures of cats (oh how she adored cats!), advocated for me, brainstormed with me, put up with me, and gave me the best parenting advice I ever received. That she gave all this and more so often to so many – students, faculty, staff, alums, even strangers, and most of all, to her family, friends and faith – leaves me somewhere between amazement and awe. Very simply, I am a better person for having known you, Carol, as a colleague, mentor and friend. Amid my tears, I am comforted knowing that your beautiful spirit will live on as we whom you touched and inspired set about to practice goodness in the countless ways you did. Carol was a caring soul, fast to smile, and always encouraging. She loved the staff, the students and the faculty, and often had a kind word for me, as she did for everyone she met in the course of her day. I am saddened that we will be lightened by her presence no more. My times with Carol were limited, and I wasn’t sure how well I knew her. Several meetings, a number of telephone conversations, an occasional lunch – provided only a small opportunity to know her. But in each instance, I would see the same thing: an extraordinarily kind and generous person who radiated warmth, decency, wisdom and humor. Then I read the comments following her death, and saw that I did indeed know her well. Everyone saw the same remarkable person. Everyone, I suspect, had the same reaction to this beautiful woman. Being with her left you with a sense that the human condition was a bit better than you would have thought earlier. There was no guile, negativity, pettiness or meanness about her. She elevated all she met, and simply made you feel better about yourself and the world. There was not one time that I did not find myself commenting: “What an absolutely wonderful person.” Recently, a faculty member commented to me that Carol was “the heart and soul of the Law Center.” So true. There are simply not words, either qualitatively or quantitatively, to adequately capture the spirit and person of Carol O'Neil. In short, she changed my life, and that of countless other students, professionals, and souls. I first met Carol as a student where, as an Assistant Dean for Students, she was a voice of calm in the rocky sea of law school. I had the good fortune of her sage advice in law school as I worked for her as a student. As a young lawyer I remained in touch with her as she was always a source of wisdom: spiritual as well as professional. When I wanted to transition to academia it was Carol who was instrumental in that process, guiding me again. She is responsible for me being a law professor today. I have always tried to serve my students with the same dedication she showed me almost 20 years ago. That effort is renewed today because with our loss of Carol, we lose not just a person but a presence that cannot be duplicated. Carol is indeed one of the few who truly made the world a better place through all she did, all that she was, and all that she inspires in the rest of us who remain. I met Dean O'Neil in the hallway of her apartment in Clarendon. I was house-sitting there for a friend last summer before 1L year. Imagine my surprise when I learned that a law school dean was living right next to me! She was a very kind woman. I remember speaking with her during the reception on main campus during our 1L orientation week. She asked me to stop by and tell her how the year was going once things got busy. She really meant it. God, I wish I would have - I got too caught up in the craziness of 1L. Dean O’Neil was a steady, warm light in our community, always ready to say hello, always ready to connect. She looked you in the eye. She listened to what you said. She somehow communicated a shared sense of strength and vulnerability — a shared humanity that so often gets lost in the day-to-day. I’ll think of her often. |
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