Monday December 6, 2010
Are American mothers alone in experiencing working moms guilt? The question arose as the result of a fascinating conversation I had with Tami Kremer-Sadlik, director of research at the Center on Everyday Lives of Families at the University of California, Los Angeles, during last week's Focus on Workplace Flexibility conference at Georgetown University Law Center. The center's observations of every minute of middle-class families' days sparked headlines earlier this year for the intimate picture they drew of their interactions and work-life balance travails -- a research method somewhat borrowed from reality television.
Kremer-Sadlik told me that she had compared American families with counterparts in Italy and found that while both sets of parents had similar values and goals for their families, the U.S. parents blamed themselves when they fell short of the mark, whereas Italian parents were more likely to attribute such disappointments to external forces. "Only the Americans, and here I am talking mostly about mothers, expressed guilt when work-life balance was not achieved," she said, noting that U.S. moms were more likely to link questions about overwork to the health and well-being of their children.
Other differences she highlighted were the higher cost of child care in the U.S. and the greater number of activities included in the longer European school day. Perhaps as a result, U.S. parents put more pressure on their kids to participate and succeed in sports and do more juggling of after-school activities. I'm still sorting through my notes -- and a number of new research studies -- from the conference, and will highlight interesting tidbits as much as I can.
In my conversations with mothers from other countries and cultures, I never thought to ask whether they feel guilty about the effect of work-life balance struggles on their children. You can bet I will ask in the future. Do you notice a difference in your cross-cultural friends and acquaintances? Or if your home country is more forgiving of working moms, please share your story!
Photo credit: George Doyle/Getty Images
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Friday December 3, 2010
It seems hard to believe Hanukkah has already begun, with Christmas and Kwanzaa close on its heels. The holiday season brings such joy to our children; so why can it be so insanity provoking for parents?! Never fear, we About.com Parenting Guides -- along with bloggers from around the Internet -- have teamed up to bring you planning advice, gift ideas, funny stories and tips on surviving the holidays with your sense of humor intact.
Failing to Plan Is Planning to Fail
Any parent knows that preparing ahead of time avoids a lot of problems. That's one reason Jennifer Wolf, the About.com Guide to Single Parents, reminds those of us with blended families to negotiate the holiday visitation schedule early. Not only does it help the adults plan and avoid disagreements, it gives our children the security of knowing where they'll be for the holidays.
You can involve your kids in the planning and anticipation of the season with an advent calendar filled with activities for each day leading up to Christmas, suggests Beverly Hernandez, the About.com Guide to Homeschooling. Jennifer O'Donnell, the About.com Guide to Tween Parenting reminds us to leave wiggle room in the schedule for a sick child, last-minute party or other unexpected bump in the road.
Keep the Kids Cool
We adults aren't the only ones prone to overload at holiday time. Katherine Lee, the About.com Guide to School-Age Children suggests taking a breather with your child to help both of you relax -- whether it's a simple dinner together or a board game. Amanda Rock, the About.com Guide to Preschoolers, offers sage advice on helping your little ones enjoy a stress-free holiday season.
Read more...Wednesday December 1, 2010
The Obama administration has only taken the first steps toward promoting flexible work, said Tina Tchen, executive director of the White House Council on Women and Girls, in remarks to the closing session of the Focus on Workplace Flexibility conference in Washington D.C. yesterday. "Our work is far from done," Tchen said, calling for academics, nonprofits and the private sector to provide more data on the impact of flexibility and to "create a true national movement" toward flexible work.
"Flexibility reduces turnover costs, increases productivity and enables better knowledge transfer as workers retire. We desperately need more research on what practices work," she said. "If we do not change and become more responsive to the needs of our changing workforce, our country will be left behind, our economy will be left behind, and the promise of what we were built on, the promise that we will leave our children a better and more prosperous future, will be lost."
A working mother herself, Tchen relies on support from a longtime child care provider, who actually moved with the family to Washington D.C. from Chicago. She also spoke of the network of support her own chronically ill mother needed to keep the family running, including relatives to drive a middle school-aged Tchen to do the grocery shopping.
The Labor Department's Women's Bureau is holding events around the country to discuss workplace flexibility. Would you attend such a forum to share your views? What would your message be to the White House about workplace flexibility?
Photo credit: Jocelyn Augustino©2010
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Tuesday November 30, 2010
Ted Childs, who made IBM famous for flexible work as head of global diversity, said corporate America only wins a C or D grade when it comes to workplace flexibility. Companies shouldn't be winning awards for having elder care, child care and flexible policies; those benefits should be the minimum requirement to be a contender in competitions that name the best employers, he told last night's opening session of the Focus on Workplace Flexibility conference in Washington D.C.
"Resources are declining; the demands on people are ascending. How we allow them to negotiate their time is critical to our success," he said. "You should only get an award if you can demonstrate that the deployment of those programs has yielded women executives with families." IBM grew the number of women executives from 185 worldwide in 1986 to 1,200 in 2008, of which 72 percent had children.
Now retired from IBM, Childs also shared the true story behind IBM's groundbreaking decision to allow three-year leaves of absence following childbirth, in the mid-80s. When he first proposed expanding a one-year leave, "they threw me out. They said we have 1 million applicants a year. These women need to make a decision, if they want to have babies or they want to have a career."
Six months later, he went back armed with the cost of recruiting ($12,000-$14,000) and training ($100,000) a college-educated employee. The financial argument won the day. "This was a bunch of boys counting the pennies and saying, 'Oh, this is cheap!' " he recalled. Along with White House senior adviser Valerie Jarrett and Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman Mike Mullen, he told the conference that the U.S. needs widespread workplace flexibility in order to compete economically with other countries for talented employees. "We're in a war for talent like anyone else," Mullen said.
The opening session kicks off today's packed conference with speakers from academia, government, the private sector and labor groups. Check in here (or on Twitter) for more updates!
Photo credit: Jocelyn Augustino©2010
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