By Robert Passarella
There are days when I feel as though I’m in my own little Greek city-state, defending against encroaching ideas, not of my own choosing.
By its nature, there are many partners involved in this project, most of all my wife, Claire. Given the circumstances, she has been awesome. I’ve been talking about steaks, grills, TVs and all sorts of manly things for weeks. She has indulged me with patience. I wonder what she wants?
But even great partnerships have disagreements.
The other night as we were making plans for the basement, Claire mentioned that the Xbox should be in the Man Cave. WOW! I thought that was a score. I never get a chance to game. I’m thinking Call of Duty: Black Ops with a side order of NHL11. Throw in a rib-eye and a Penfolds Grange and we have it made.
Boy did I get that wrong.
Claire’s true thought came through:
“With the Xbox downstairs, Connor (my 13 year old) and his friends have a place to play.”
My first response was: “No, way. This is my thing. He already has a room.”
Claire reminded me that we originally wanted to build a space for the family. That was the plan before the DIY Network said yes and offered to do up my basement.
I thought about it and realized I was being a dope. In my zeal, I forgot about my buddy. My junior Hoplite can use the Man Cave but he can’t be the primary resident. After all, THIS IS SPARTA!
So, I met my demise faster than a fallen combatant in the arena. Thumbs down. Connor reminded me that, the mighty Leonidas, in the movie 300, was killed in the end. I didn’t die in vain. The Xbox is now going in the basement. Ahoo, Ahoo, Ahoo!
I need some help. I want to compile a list of films to enjoy in the man cave. Guy flicks please. Yes I’m sensitive enough for “27 Dresses” but this is a Man Cave. You can email me at robert.passarella@dowjones.com. You can also send them in the comments or tweet me @robpas
Guy cave movies (these have been screened in an actual man cave, so pass the test:
1. Any Rocky movie but the last one;
2. Any Rambo movie
3. Any Star Wars movie (esp IV, V, and VI)
4. True Grit
5. Any other John Wayne western
6. Any other John Wayne military movie
7. Any Clint Eastwood movie (except an Eastwood movie with any animal sharing the lead with Clint);
8. Top Gun;
9. Mission Impossible;
10. Shogun;
11. Any James Bond movie (the older, generally speaking, the better);
12. Bloodsport with Jean Claude VanDamme
13. Any Bruce Lee movie;
14. Dances with Wolves;
15. Any Rush Hour movie; (mostly, but not totally, suitable for the 13 y.o)
16. Any of the “Friday,” “Next Friday,” “Friday After Next” movies (not suitable for the 13 y.o.)
17. That should about do it…although I’m sure there are many more!!
Flags of our Fathers.
Risky Business.
Animal House.
Caddy Shack.
Happy Gilmore.
Top Ten “Guy Movies” of All Time (IMHO):
1. Godfather
2. Dirty Dozen
3. Dr. Strangelove
4. Kelly’s Heroes
5. Wild Bunch
6. Cool Hand Luke
7. Man Who Would Be King
8. Patton
9. Zulu
10. Great Escape
(Note “Rules for Guy Movies”: a) a guy will watch it when it’s on, no matter how many times he’s seen it before; b) there can be no major female roles (Godfather excepted); and c) it drives your wife/girlfriend nuts to see you watch the same movie for the Nth time.
Dude! All you need is Top Gun - over and over. Turn the sound up.
The Dogs of War (1980): Christopher Walken as a Mercenary: “In my jungle, you’d be just another ***hole. “, “My wife’s six months pregnant. Wherever we’re going, it’s gotta be better than sittin’ around watchin’ her get fat.”
Gallipoli (1981): Mel Gibson, Dir. Peter Weir… best buddy war movie ever. WWI. Slow paced, and low on the testosterone scale, but the ending floors you even though you know it’s coming. “Girls run. Men box.”
Bachelor Party (1984): Tom Hanks. “Hi, come on in! Drugs to the right, hookers to the left.”
Others…
Too obvious for anyone to bother mentioning but I’ll do it anyway: Godfather 1 & 2. Apocalypse Now. Shawshank Redemption.
No, I just got something caught in my eye!: Field of Dreams. Cinema Paradiso. The Champ.
Damnit Mamet: Glengarry Glen Ross. Spartan.
Because we still laugh at fart, poop and butt jokes: Caddyshack. Animal House. The Hangover.
Because we still want to be superheroes: Bourne, Bond and Indy.