It's a simple tweet that Coachella posted a half-hour ago, one that perhaps crushes the dreams of procrastinating and/or stoned music fans everywhere:

“No, we don’t have any passes left to release, kthxbye”

That's right: The festival in the desert is sold out. Where now? Craigslist? Perhaps, but before you make any hasty decisions, be aware that counterfeiters have been known to prey on desperate (and/or stoned) concertgoers looking for passes at the site.

Just be careful out there.

-- Randall Roberts

Those looking for a little help making room for all the acts playing Coachella got a boost today when L.A.-based promoter Pure Filth, which is in charge of the only Coachella-sanctioned afterparty over the three-day event, announced the lineup for its campground stage.

The beat-oriented party, predictably, draws most of its acts from the Coachella lineup, but schedules them in a more dance-friendly timeframe.

The party doesn't really get going until after midnight, so those acts stuck in daytime slots on the polo grounds will have a chance to bewitch their fans at the proper hour: the middle of the night. And what better time to see Magnetic Man (Benga, Skream and Artwork) scrub the field with heavy bass? And if shocking L.A. hip-hop collective Odd Future (OFWGKTA on the poster) is worried about offending tender ears during the day, rest assured they'll be delivering the nasty, misogynist stuff in the evening (great, just what we need).

Updated 1:14 p.m., Jan. 25, 2011: The flyer above was posted on promoter Pure Filth's website on Monday, but on Tuesday the site issued a note explaining that "an overzealous intern" had incorrectly published a fake flyer as real. Below is text of the full post from Purefilthla.com:

Yesterday the graphic creativity of an ardent Coachella fan combined with the work of an overzealous intern led to the posting and subsequent dissemination of information regarding the artists playing on the epic Pure Filth sound system at the festival this year.

To clarify:

 - Pure Filth sound system will be hosting a stage inside the Coachella festival in 2011.

 - Artists confirmed to play on this Pure Filth stage include (in no particular order): Beardyman, Jakes, Breakage, 12th Planet, Mt. Kimbie, OFWTKTA, Kyle Hall, Andy C & G.Q, Lil’ B, DJ Hype, Mary Anne Hobbs, DJ Marky, DJ Kentaro, SBTRKT, Ras G, Alf Alpha, High Contrast, DJ Zinc, Kode 9, Ramadanman, Terror Danjah, Thunderball, Take, Roska, Lorn, Tokimonsta, Zed Bias and Goth-Trad with more TBA.

- Information about the Pure Filth afterparty in the Coachella campgrounds will be revealed soon. No artists have been announced for this lineup yet.

- The flyer circulating online that celebrates Coachella’s “bass heads” and boasts the Pure Filth logo was made by an excited fan. Although Pure Filth helped to book some of these performers and every artist on the flyer is indeed playing at Coachella, this rogue flyer does not represent the lineup of the Pure Filth stage at the festival.

Truly this reflects the spirit of the Coachella music festival, which is not a dualistic “show” that divides the performer and the audience, but rather an event for and of the community. From excited fans that create their own flyers and passionate forum commenters to social media users who spread the word and their enthusiasm, Coachella calls to people and engages them to plunge in and participate rather than stand behind the lines and watch.

Pure Filth apologizes for any misunderstanding the rogue flyer may have caused.

Pop & Hiss will keep you posted on the real Pure Filth afterparty when it's announced.

-- Randall Roberts

Kanye West still isn’t in everyone’s good graces -- to say the least.

After The Times revealed that the rapper would be headlining the final night of the 12th Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival, you could almost hear the boos and groans emitting from some of the bitter comments that poured in from our readers.

Coachella fans have always closely scrutinized the lineup they await so anxiously  -- and why shouldn’t they? They drop major money to attend the three-day festival (weekend passes are $269, plus surcharges, and camping passes are $75).

But the addition of West to a lineup that also includes Arcade Fire, Kings of Leon, Duran Duran, the Black Keys and the Strokes could be a non-starter for most, judging by the complaints.

“Great lineup this year.....but Kanye West is a definite deal killer for me, so me and my girlfriend won't be going for the first time in 4 years,” reader cabeachguy wrote, while reader oldskool57 thought it was a “real disappointment that loudmouth Kanye West is gonna' be there. What a goof that dude is.”

The Internet's instant responders sighed with contentment but did not experience hysteria when the Los Angeles Times revealed the lineup for this year's Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival late Tuesday. The announcement silenced the din of whispers that builds excitement for the April event -- a rumor mill that this year featured talk of the Rolling Stones headlining, Daft Punk returning and Lady Gaga luring her fan army of "little monsters" to the Polo Grounds.

These tantalizing possibilities were left unfilfilled in the wake of worthy but more predictable headliners, many of whom have made big impressions at the festival before. The Arcade Fire is finally claiming the Saturday night anchor position that's been its destiny since the band's thrilling sunset set in 2005, and the Kings of Leon move up from the side stage the band burned down in 2007. New York's Strokes, finally reunited, can wow the kids too young to have seen them in 2002. Kanye West, who played Coachella in 2006, adds another notch to a designer belt already marked by performances at outdoor festivals Sasquatch (2005; he slayed) and Bonnaroo (2008; he flopped).

A grumbler could go on. Duran Duran will surely entertain in the big legacy-act slot, but the New Romantic royals have been back for a while, no news there. PJ Harvey's decision to grace the festival after a rumored multi-year courtship will surely result in fireworks -- the band's February release, "Let England Shake," is a killer of an album -- but it's hard to imagine Polly Harvey cutting a more stunning figure than she did in her Victorian finery during her 2007 White Chalk tour. And the overwrought "whoas" issuing forth from certain indie palaces about the reunion of the Toronto-based synth-punk duo Death From Above 1979 seem to be overplaying a marginal event in the absence of more significant ones. 

What this year's Coachella line-up really does is thoroughly smack down the argument that a major music fest should stake its fortune on once-in-a-lifetime moments. Below the headliners, the weekend's bill unfolds impressively, containing a huge percentage of the artists earning accolades and buzz on the capricious cutting edge of pop.

The big names at the 12th Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival are all familiar -- the Arcade Fire, Kings of Leon, Black Keys and the Strokes will be return visitors to California's signature live-music event.

The lineup has stirred rumors and intense interest for weeks, but here, below, is the first official and accurate version of the schedule for the three-day gathering that will brings tens of thousands of music fans to the Empire Polo Field in the low-desert city of Indio. The festival is April 15-17.  Ticket info is at the bottom of this post.

Here's the acts and the poster...

This is the week that Coachella watchers start freaking out and buzzing with anticipation on the Internets with their speculations, early confirmations, random prognostications ... and fake posters.

The buzz today online is that KROQ-FM (106.7) is planning some sort of announcement Tuesday evening, but sources close to the event say in no uncertain terms that this rumor is bogus. Which means that Pop & Hiss is pretty certain that the poster to the right isn't accurate -- if only because it would be physically impossible for two Frenchmen to do all those gigs on all those stages (even if they had help -- not).

But part of the fun of Coachella is this speculative phase, which serves to get the fans buzzing and drive the conversational traffic up. Over at the Coachella page, videos are starting to pop up featuring bands no doubt signed on, and random sites have been connecting dots to eke out little tidbits of info.

But while it's tempting to report every leak and confirmation in the days leading up to the announcement -- whenever that may be, whether later today, Thursday, Saturday, next Tuesday or Groundhog Day -- much of the dot-connecting diminishes the overwhelming feeling of looking at the completed poster (not the one above, and probably not the one below).

New York-based director Sam O'Hare offers maybe the most unusual vision of California's preeminent music festival yet -- one from a three-quarters angle above everything. "Coachelletta" makes judicious use of the tilt-shift technique (you saw the popular Web video visual conceit used in "The Social Network") to render the breadth of the festival and its crowds as an oddly touching miniature. The installation art in particular looks impressively pagan from up there.

-- August Brown

Hat tip: Andrew Sullivan.

The summer festival season has nearly come to an end. We here on the West Coast have another major event on the horizon with San Francisco's Outside Lands, but then it's time to start filling the piggy bank for 2011's festival season. Goldenvoice unveiled Tuesday the official dates for Coachella 2011, and Indio hotels are standing by for the three-day weekend beginning April 15.

Coachella is coming off its best-attended fest yet, as the 2010 edition, headed by Jay-Z, Gorillaz and Thom Yorke, with many, many, many others, drew 75,000 people per day to register a sellout. The summer festival is thriving, even as other facets of the touring biz have struggled. Chicago's Lollapalooza swelled in size in 2010 as well, and our pals at the Chicago Tribune noted the fest drew about 80,000 per day. 

But that's all business stuff. It's time to start the "Book Blur in 2011" campaign. Or OutKast. Or Kanye West. 

-- Todd Martens

P.S.: Dear Goldenvoice, many of us here are a little jealous that Lollapalooza had Chicago chef Graham Elliot Bowles curate the food options. Can we one-up them on the West Coast, perhaps? How about Rick Bayless? He's got a foothold in L.A. now, and that would be a slight blow to Chicago pride. Thanks.

Photo: Screenshot: www.coachella.com

This blog post will begin after the following thank-you note:

Dear Chicago,

Pop & Hiss would like to thank you for again putting our West Coast life into perspective. The recent reporting on Vocalo.org and the Chicago Tribune has reminded music fans here in L.A. that our annual Coachella Valley Music & Arts Festival may indeed appear to be downright altruistic in comparison with your annual waterfront party, Lollapalooza. 

XoXo,

Pop & Hiss

And now for the blog post:

Political and business dealings always seem more in interesting in Chicago. In fact, interesting probably isn't the right word for the Windy City, which has blessed the world with a string of head-scratching characters and shady deals, ranging from William Hale Thompson's pro-booze and pro-gangster mayorship during Prohibition to the continued cartoonish buffoonery of the always "golden" Blago.

And now Chicago's rock media elites, Jim DeRogatis and Greg Kot, are reporting that Illinois Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan is conducting an antitrust investigation of Lollapalooza promoters for enforcing particularly strenuous radius clauses into their contracts. All major festivals, including our desert dance bonanza, Coachella, insist on radius clauses, which prevent an artist from performing in the market in the weeks and months leading up to the event. 

Yet do Lollapalooza's rules go too far? DeRogatis broke the story on the festival, which is co-owned by the William Morris Endeavor agency and Texas-based C3 Presents, and he wrote, "Sources have said that the most extreme of these clauses stretch from six months before Lollapalooza to three months after it, and that they encompass a 300-mile radius -- which would include concert markets as far away as Milwaukee, Madison, Iowa City, Detroit, and Indianapolis."

And here we in L.A. simply thought that Lolla's biggest offense was an $850 VIP "lounge pass."

Multi-day San Francisco music fest Outside Lands today pulled back the curtain on its all-star lineup of designer food and wine. Let's Be Frank, the Vampire Weekend of hot-dog eateries, and Pica Pica Maize Kitchen, which boasts a cachapa aimed squarely at a Calexico fan's heart, will anchor a lineup of more than 30 cult culinary options from acclaimed restaurants and wineries. 

The two-day Golden Gate Park event is set for the weekend of Aug. 14, and Outside Lands will unveil its full roster of side attractions, including its music, on June 1. Limited-edition, lower-priced tickets go on sale Friday (May 7). That should give fans plenty of time to decide which wine goes best with the Animal Collective's 5 1/2-minute warped mediation of "Graze." 

All kidding aside, the move points to a burgeoning collision of the indie and foodie set, as well as, perhaps, the more affluent concertgoer who can shell out the cash for multi-day fests and hotels. The IFC's "Dinner With the Band" showcases the culinary smarts of the likes of Kid Sister and Yacht, among others, and Lollapalooza tapped famed Chicago chef Graham Elliot Bowles to curate the festival's food options. 

"Any updates on the lost and found process? Really hoping to get my identity back (I lost everything and could barely get on my flight without a cavity search)," reads a post on the "lost and found" message board at Coachella's website, one of many desperate missives sent in the wake of Coachella 2010.

Or this ode to a missing Canon Power Shot:

"There were pictures of my family at a wedding the week before coachella. They were amazing, and so special. Pictures of all the women in my family, I was so excited to have taken them - you never know when you won't see someone again. There are also some pictures from my last day at my job. They're very obviously a going away party - I'm wearing a white top and took pictures with all kinds of people. There are also some pictures of bassnectar at Lucent La'mour."

Well, good news for the absent-minded and locked out: Goldenvoice has released photos of its lost-and-found stash from Coachella 2010 -- and apparently a lot of Blackberry owners have slippery hands. Among the dozens of Samsungs, Nokias, and Motorolas are at least four locked iPhones (don't even think about it: "we know wall paper images ... you need to identify ... we have chargers") and 13 dead or locked Blackberrys.  If you've lost a key that's tied to a baby's red tennis shoe, there's good news for you too.

And who knows of the illicit treasures stored away in these Coachella cameras? To lose a phone or a key is one thing, but to drop onto the turf the pictorial evidence of a debauched weekend is panic-worthy.

If you see your stuff in any of these photos, follow this link to instructions on how to retrieve it.

Oh, and it's unclear whether anyone can help "Daftmonkey64," who posted a query looking for something that he thinks promoter Goldenvoice may have misplaced: "any update on the where-abouts of coachella's integrity? I think it got lost this year..." 

-- Randall Roberts

Photo: some of the many Blackberrys lost at Coachella. Credit: coachella.com

With Coachella 2010 quickly receding in the rear-view mirror of festival-goers’ collective consciousness, it is fair to say that there was no shortage of lasting impressions made this year. Highly touted reunions (the Specials, Faith No More, Pavement), splashy performances by next-big-things (MGMT, Vampire Weekend), even blanket ubiquity by bona fide superstars (Jay-Z and Beyoncé, please stand up).

But pound for pound -- or maybe, considering the group's abbreviated set time and its members' dangerously emaciated-looking Body Mass Indexes, minute for minute onstage -- the most engaging and legitimately surprising act of the weekend might have been the hard rhyming South African “Zef-rap” trio Die Antwoord. Their arrival came as a late addition to the Coachella lineup, placed in a high-visibility spot Saturday night between veteran party starter DJ Z-Trip and Belgian mash-up superstars 2ManyDJs. Then there was the name itself: "the answer" in Afrikaans. All day Saturday, the question was, "Who the [bleep] is Die Antwoord?”

Suffice it to say the audience did not know what hit them.