We saw and liked the term "weatherproof" in Stephen Johnson's article about what it takes to have a long lasting marriage. Read the comments section attached to Stephen's article, too. They add more insight into what it takes to have a long term marriage.

"In relationships with potential for durable longevity, each individual is willing to make the relationship a priority, giving it time, energy, and sustenance. As couples age together, the traits inherent in true friendship and close companionship take on greater significance. The partners constantly rechoose each other and feed positive energy to the relationship. They have each other's back. They look out for each other. In healthy relationships, both partners feel appreciated ..."
Source: Stephen J. Johnson, Ph.D. "What Your Marriage Needs to Survive." GoodMenProject.com. 2/8/2011.

Johnson's article also lists six characteristics of close couples.

• Physical attraction.
• Want to, not Have to relationship.
• Share "fundamental values, beliefs, interests, and goals."
• Know how to fight fair.
• Presence of laughter and playfulness.
• Can and do support one another's "activities, interests, and careers."

The characteristics are similar to what our readers have selected as the top ten essential qualities for a long lasting marriage.

Steve Cooper got it right in his article "Why Married Couples Should Celebrate Valentine's Day."

One of the questions he asks is "When was the last time you and your spouse went on a date?" The latest results of our poll on how often folks date their spouses shows only 36% of those who voted date their spouse at least once a month.

Cooper recommends that married couples embrace Valentine's Day by daring to be nostalgic, creative, romantic, and sexy and by stepping "out of your comfort zone and reconnect." That's great advice!

In his article on "Why Men Don't Listen to Women," Robert Leahy, Ph.D. lists seven reasons men don't listen.

• It's a power struggle.
• Sarcasm.
• Macho thinking.
• Emotional dysregulation.
• Not wanting to reinforce whining.
• Demand for rationality.
• Problems have to be solved.

We think there are other reasons your spouse may not listen to you.

• Tired of waiting for you to get to the point of what you want to say.
• Not having a chance to get a word in the conversation.
• Defensiveness.
• Feeling manipulated.
• Doesn't like being preached at or lectured to or questioned all the time.
• Tunes out 'always' and 'never' type of words.
• Preoccupied with other thoughts, a project, television, the computer.
• Tired of talking about the same issues over and over again.
• Weary of negative conversations.
• Personal issues including lack of interest in topic or disagreement about topic.
• 12 more reasons

Regardless of the reasons a spouse may not listen, folks want to know how to make a spouse listen. Bottom line, you can only change your own behavior and responses.

Considering the thoughts and feelings of Gabrielle, her family, and his family, Mark Kelly decided he will command the launch of Endeavour (STS-134) in April. Kelly said in a news conference today that Gabrielle has very busy days right now and is a big supporter of both his career and NASA. Expressing confidence in his decision, Kelly stated this is the right thing for him to do.

Mark Kelly: "Things fell into place and she [Gabrielle] improved very fast, so the decision became easier over time," Kelly said. "I know my wife very well and I know what she would want, so that makes the decision easier."
Source: "Mark Kelly Confident of Decision to Command STS-134." Nasa.gov. 2/04/2011.

Knowing that Gabrielle is in "super-good care", her husband astronaut Mark kelly is taking a "one-time opportunity" to do what "he's trained to do."
Source: Marcia Dunn. "Mark Kelly Space Trip Dilemma: Take Flight or Stay With Wife Gabrielle Giffords." HuffingtonPost.com. 2/3/2011.

[Howard] "McCurdy suggested the public will embrace Kelly's decision, because it provides a sense of normalcy. 'We all want her to go back to Congress; we'd like them both to continue their careers and we'd like them to be whole and normal as if this thing had never happened,' said McCurdy, author of the book Space and the American Imagination.
Source: Marcia Dunn. "Giffords Astronaut Husband Mark Kelly Will Fly on Shuttle Mission Set for April, NASA Says." ChicagoTribune.com. 2/04/2011.

We believe this very personal career and relationship decision reached by Mark Kelly should be supported and not criticized. Mark Kelly mentioned that he believes Gabrielle will be able to be at the launch of the shuttle in April. We hope she can be there, too!