Hello you. Well, here we are, the first quarter-final of the 2011 Cricket World Cup - Pakistan v West Indies. When this tournament started, a long, long time ago, I still had dreams - I coulda had class, I coulda been a contender, instead of a bum, which is what I am... still, might be a good game...

West Indies have won the toss and are going to have a bat in Mirpur. Three changes for West Indies, Chris Gayle, Shiv Chanderpaul and Kemar Roach in for Edwards, Benn and Russell. One change for Pakistan, Saeed Ajmal in for Rehman. Looks like a crackerjack deck, should be some runs.

Pakistan paceman Shoaib Akhtar is "resting" according to skipper Shahid Afridi, which I think means he's been overlooked. Might not see him again in international cricket. I believe in 21 day-night matches on this ground, the side batting second have won on 14 occasions... 

Bit of a mystery as to why Andre Russell's not in this West Indies team, but watch out for Darren Bravo if you haven't seen him in action before - like watching Lara in his pomp, and he even looks a lot like him. Anyone got an exercises for lower back pain? Done myself a serious ricket on the bike...

Pakistan: Shahid Afridi (capt), Misbah-ul-Haq, Mohammad Hafeez, Kamran
Akmal, Younis Khan, Asad Shafiq, Umar Akmal, Abdul Razzaq, Saeed Ajmal, Umar Gul, Wahab Riaz.

West Indies: Darren Sammy (capt), Chris Gayle, Devon Smith, Darren Bravo,
Ramnaresh Sarwan, Shivnarine Chanderpaul, Kieron Pollard, Devon Thomas, Kemar Roach, Ravi Rampaul, Devendra Bishoo.

Umpires: Billy Bowden (NZ) and Steve Davis (AUS)

As ever, you can get involved via email, text or Twitter, or simply by shouting loudly at the radio or television screen. Darren Sammy - no-one seems to know why he's in the West Indies team, let alone captain. Any ideas?

Boredy Bordington, Isle of Man, in the TMS inbox: "Re: 0815 exercises for lower back pain. Simply stretch out each leg in turn in a walking motion. Repeat until you reach a shop that sells pain killers."

... that's the West Indies anthem, apparently. "We are united through struggles and triumphs of history, We are the children of proud generations that yearned to be free..." Someone might want to remind the chaps of the words, not a peep...
 

I'm going to stick my neck out and say: "Spring has sprung in London", and in Mirpur, I'm told it's a broiler. It's Umar Gul, who's been swinging it round corners, to start against Devon Smith... the first delivery is short and wide and Smith jumps all over it, cutting it for four. Smith looks to whip Gul off his legs and is rapped on the pads, but that pitched outside leg. Smith is scythed in two by a ball that nips back to the left-hander, four off the first over...   

Off-spinner Mohammad Hafeez, from around the wicket, comes in to Gayle. Leg before shout as Gayle prods tentatively and he's very nearly beaten a couple of balls later. Don't even bother looking for that, though, let alone chasing it, that's been heaved over mid-wicket for four. 

Sam in Sunny St Albans in the TMS inbox: "How can Darren Sammy justify his place? Russel has offered much more with the ball and the bat since he has come in, and with Pollard at 6, even Benn will provide more for the team. Sammy must be like Ray Illingworth, Mike Brearley and Michael Vaughan all rolled into one in terms of his captaincy to stay in this team!"

Massive wicket, that, Ramnaresh Sarwan the new man in the middle. Hafeez to continue to Smith and he gets a hint of turn. Smith pushes into the covers for one before we have a spot of bail trouble, no idea what was going on there. Aaah, the first official day of London Summertime Boozing. You know the day - no-one intends to go out, but everyone spends all day going, "you have to come out, it's sunny outside", and nine Magners later you're with Tina from accounts singing songs in a Chinese karaoke...

Dave Evans, Bristol, in the TMS Inbox: "I had a horrible forestry accident and was told by my GP that I’d be walking with two sticks within five years. That was 24 years ago, and I’m fine..."

Umar to continue and Smith chops hard for one. Fuller from Gul and Sarwan smothers before Kamran Akmal goes up for a very enthusiastic caught behind - not that convinced, they don't even bother reviewing.  

Will Collins, Yorkshire, in the TMS inbox: "As we have already mentioned illness and forestry I think I should mention my lumberjack joke that I have just made up: Why did the lumberjack not cut down many trees? Because he wasn’t felling very well. I thank you."

Chanderpaul, recalled to the side, joins Sarwan, so at least West Indies have an experienced pair in the middle. One for Sarwan courtesy of an outside edge before Chanderpaul gets off the mark with a nibble to mid-wicket for two. Gul tests out the middle of the track and Chanderpaul sways out of the line...

Kamran Akmal thinks he's got Sarwan stumped, he's gone absolutely ballistic - but Sarwan's back foot was well in. Maybe Akmal was just happy he caught it. Sarwan dabs off his pads for one - dreadful fielding from Afridi, it was like he had broom handles strapped to the back of his legs.

I should remind you that you can tweet me @bendirs1 or with the hashtag #bbcworldcup to get involved. Not entirely sure I know what that means, but there you go. Two slips in for Sarwan... full bunger from Gul but Sarwan misses out, bumping it straight to the man in the covers. That's a maiden, West Indies rattling along at two an over...

Simon in the TMS inbox: "RE Will Collins' hilarious lumberjack joke: why did the other lumberjack not cut down many trees? He caught the same illness from the initial lumberjack, rendering him ill as well."

Chanderpaul shotless at the moment, like a beached ship creaking in a light breeze... that's another maiden from Hafeez, powerplay over... talking... talking... talking...   

Simon (see below), that reminds me of another joke I once heard: why did the nurse resign from her job? Because her husband, the lumberjack who caught the illness off his work-mate, became bed-ridden and she was forced to care for him at home full-time. Here's Wahab Riaz with a spot of left-arm seam. Bang on the spot first five balls before Sarwan nurdles a cheeky single to leg.

Sarwan yanks Hafeez away for one from outside off-stump before Hafeez slides one down leg for a wide. Chanderpaul nought from 15 before he misses one, but it's only a strangled appeal. Shiv finally opens his account with an ease to long-off for one. Umar Akmal wears one right in the mooey - the ball hit a crack and spat up at him. Proof of that old Mel Brooks addage: "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die."

Riaz drifting down leg and that's the first four since Gayle's departure, I believe, Sarwan just helping the ball on its way. Put that shot in a bun and cover it in ketchup - sweet cover-drive for four, that really was a cutey.

Dicey little forward poke from Chanderpaul and he just manages to get some bat on a turning ball. Hafeez keeping things tight, Chanderpaul has two from 26 balls...

Riaz revving things up a bit, and finding his line, three dot balls... followed by a no-ball, that's a free hit... Chanderpaul blinks first, backing away, and he ends up toe-ending to point for one. Chanderpaul looks ugly at the best of times, but he's so ugly today, he'll have to sneak up on a glass to get a drink... 

Paul in Lancs in the TMS inbox: "I took your advice in good faith and shouted loudly at the radio for some time this morning. In so doing, I completely missed the projected weather conditions for both Rockall and Bailey, and am now very concerned lest a mariner contact me for these details, and then become stricken as a result of the ignorance brought on by your cavalier guidance. Not the kind of social responsibility I expect from a BBC site, I have to say."
 

Hafeez may well go right through, and why not? He's 2-10 from seven. Chanderpaul nurdles to leg for a single before Sarwan waits on a short one and drags through mid-wicket for one of his own. Chinese kid in the Metro this morning, three-years-old and 10st...

Saeed Ajmal into the attack, off-breaks, 45 wickets from 37 matches. Chanderpaul tucks Ajmal away for one, that's the only run of the over...

Two for Chanderpaul through mid-off, this time the left-hander letting his hands go, but Ajmal quickly prods Chanderpaul back in his hole with some probing deliveries. This is pretty desperate for the Windies, who are neither able to give it some clatter or work the ball about on a slow-paced pitch.  

"Does anybody remember what the world was like before this World Cup started?" emails Craig from Blackpool. No, Craig, I don't, but there is an old lady who lives a couple of doors down who does. She assures me it has always been a cruel, unforgiving place. That's the Windies fifty courtesy of a clip off Chanderpaul's hip for one...

... just the two singles from Ajmal's over... he gets Chanderpaul in a real old pickle, the veteran southpaw making a hash of a cut shot before going walkabout and almost running himself out...

Sarwan with a bit more invention, dragging Afridi through wide long-on for a couple. Sarwan moves to 21 with a dab into the covers before Chanderpaul sends his partner back, Sarwan having sensed a single... 

Jack, hiding from sunlight, London, in the TMS inbox: "Re your proclamation of the first day of summertime boozing in Blighty, I must inform you that was in fact yesterday... or that is going to be my excuse for my couple of drinks after work lasting six boozy, slurred hours and subsequent frailness this morning... I was hoping to catch some of the cricket during my sunny day lunchtime excursion, but the way those sons of fun from the Windies are batting it doesn't look that likely..."

Pollard is off the mark with a nibble off his pads for one and there's just one more run from the over, courtesy of a Chanderpaul push to long-on.

WAKEY-WAKEY! Chanderpaul drops to one knee and hoists Ajmal over mid-wicket for six. One more for Chanderpaul brings Twenty20 specialist Pollard on strike and he's happy to block out the over. Pollard hasn't played much 'long' cricket, well, ever really - his side need him to dig in now...

Afridi on a hat-trick... slip, gully, silly mid-off... Sammy is off the mark with a nurdle off his pads. Time for the Windies skipper to prove us all wrong, but he ain't no Sobers...

Adam, near Dundee, in the TMS inbox:

"Like a boozed up dog, I fell over relieving, Oh spring, don't hurt me.

By the way, hard to believe I know, but the sun is out and glorious here in northern Scotland."

Ajmal, with this slightly bent arm of his, to continue to Chanderpaul... that's another ruddy maiden... West Indies took a few early body blows and they pretty much took a dive. No fight, I'm afraid, and for that reason they're toast.

Four for Roach, guiding Afridi to the third-man boundary. Roach adds a single, perhaps it's time for Chanderpaul to give it some humpty. May as well...

Chanderpaul should have been out two in two - first it's our old friend Kamran, The Man in the Iron Gloves, missing a regulation stumping, second it's Younus shelling a very takeable chance at slip.   

Gabes, Cambridge, in the TMS inbox: "Further to Craig from Blackpool’s point, since this World Cup started, the world has seen a war, a devastating earthquake and tsunami, a level 5 nuclear disaster, civil unrest sweeping the Middle East. By the time it ends, I confidently predict that the world will be reorganised into three supercontinents, Oceania, Eurasia and Eastasia, and people will be subordinated to the all-pervading influence of something called Big Brother, or possibly Dancing on Ice."

Riaz back into the attack after the drinks break. Afridi off the field for the moment, which I assume means Misbah has hold of the reins. One for Chanderpaul courtesy of a cut before Roach glides to third-man for one of his own. Afridi back on at the end of the over - give the state of Pakistan cricket, he was probably afraid of a sudden coup...

Hafeez on for his ninth over. Chanderpaul is beaten but survives and he moves to 86 with a rather ugly heave through mid-wicket for two. He now has 30 from 80.

Nick in the TMS inbox: "Spring! And for all the craziness and death, I find I’m still in love with, among others, myself."

Pakistan dragging this out, it's like watching someone pull the legs off a spider one by one. Any bored men? I suggest you look out of the window, hoping upon hope to spy a lady skipping down the lane in a floral summer dress... Three from Riaz's fifth over, two singles and a leg-bye.

One for Chanderpaul before Roach is beaten by one that skims on from Hafeez. Looks like this pair are playing for stumps - get the score up around 130, and who knows?

West Indies have matched their lowest World Cup total, which was 93 against Kenya in 1996 - they lost that game by 73 runs. Shiv played in that one as well, top-scored with 19. Two for Chanderpaul with a clip through mid-wicket, he looks like he's finally played himself in. Roach glides Riaz past the despairing dive of Younus at slip and picks up one before whipping through square-leg for four. Ton up...

The partnership reaches 29 and Afridi calls for Gul. Gul right on the money from the off, Chanderpaul forced to dig out a yorker. One for Chanderpaul with a dab off his hip before Gul gets one to swing lavishly back into the right-handed Roach, but it misses leg-stump.

Razzaq rolled into the attack for the first time. Chanderpaul tugs him for a single from outside off. Razzaq sending down cutters, a la Collingwood, and proving difficult to get away. 150? If they can manage it, don't count West Indies out...

Dave in the East Turkey Mountains: "With all the talk of Spring in the UK, the last comment about the floral dress has just tipped me over the edge. Its -10 and snowing here. Thanks."

Chanderpaul not stepping on the gas just yet. In fact, to extend the metaphor, he's parked up down a side street and reclined his seat. There's a single off his hip before Roach drives expansively for none. 

Shane Warne on Twitter: Think I have lost my touch re: predictions!! Mmmmm Pakistan bowlers and team look the real deal. Tough to beat. Could win World Cup!

Razzaq still making it sing, and that ball darts back and Roach gets a thick inside-edge for one. One more for Chanderpaul with a guide into the covers - this pair scooping up puddles at the moment, but they'll take anything they can get.

Afridi back into the attack and Chanderpaul picks up one with a steer to long-on. Roach adds one into the covers before Chanderpaul dabs to backward square-leg for a single. Roach sticking around, he's the third-highest scorer now with 16.

Rampaul is the Windies number 11 and he survives the rest of Razzaq's over with the minimum of fuss. "Supporting the West Indies is like being a middle aged man," emails Gizi in Nottingham. "You know your best days are behind you, however, on rare occasions, you have the ability to roll back the years."

Some sad news to report: former England off-spinner Fred Titmus has passed away following a long illness. Titmus played 53 Tests for England, taking 153 wickets. His first-class career spanned a remarkable 33 seasons, making his debut for Middlesex aged 16 in 1949 and his final appearance in 1982 at the age of 50 years and 276 days. All in all, a legend in the proper sense of the word.

Will Collins, Yorkshire, in the TMS inbox: "Just listened to the interview with Jade Dernbach. Born and raised in South Africa, moved over here in 2000. It’s just making a mockery of the ‘England team’. It takes some of the pleasure out of England victories when half the players aren’t from this country."

Righto, Pakistan's openers Kamran Akmal and Hafeez are in the middle, we've got two slips and a gully in, Roach the bowler. Kamran is off the mark with a glide through third-man for one before Hafeez clatters Roach over extra-cover for four. Two more for Hafeez courtesy of a cut before Roach over-pitches and Hafeez creams him down the ground for four more. A belated dot from Roach, but the damage has been done... 

Amina Shah in the TMS inbox: "I totally agree with Hannah regarding the dress business. Some people have forgotten that this is the new century where women are equal to men or even better. Let's enjoy the day by respecting that fact and concentrate on cricket."

Boy, oh boy, West Indies have been taken by the lapels and they are being slapped senseless - four leg-byes, Rampaul spearing one down leg-side, before Kamran gets up on tippy-toes and flays through backward-point for four more. Another leg-side wide from Rampaul, taker of a five-fer against India, before Kamran square-drives for a single. If this was a 100m race, West Indies would be flat on their face in the blocks while Pakistan would be halfway down the track, a little bit embarrassing to be honest... four more, Hafeez squeezing off his pads...

Width from Roach and Kamran piles into that, flashing over Pollard at point for another boundary. Maybe got a finger to it, but he has a finger injury. Kamran runs down to third-man to nick the strike, Pakistan a quarter of the way after three overs.  

Alex in the TMS inbox: "Re: Will Collins (1219ish) - You have a problem with someone who has been in England since they were 13/14, and who has declared publicly that 'I owe nothing to South Africa, I learned my cricket in England', playing FOR England?! Surely the pleasure lies in recognizing that the grassroots to county to country system is producing good, potentially great players who want to play and succeed for England. The alternative being that they take this development and put it against us for a team that they don't necessarily identify with and for a country they don't feel a part of..."
 

Nick in the TMS inbox: "Very sad news about Fred Titmus. I’m going to see Half Man Half Biscuit in June – let’s hope they do a tribute performance of his song."

Rampaul, still striving for the yorker, strays onto Kamran's leg-peg and is patted away for one. Two for Hafeez courtesy of a square-cut - better from Rampaul, but still three runs from his over. 

A single apiece for Hafeez and Kamran before Kamran unfurls a doozy of a back-foot drive through the covers for four. Laminate that shot and do what you like with it, no-one would mind. Aaah yes, Half Man Half Biscuit: "Oh I was walking round my local store, Searching for the ten pence off Lenor, When suddenly I bumped into this guy, On seeing who it was I gave a cry..." I can't tell you the rest, but it involves Fred Titmus... three more for Kamran, the right-hander squirting to mid-wicket.

Bishoo now with his leggies and he's managed to stick his finger in the dam. Unfortunately for West Indies, Roach and Rampaul have already been drowned.

Skipper Sammy brings himself into the attack, he's not more than military medium. That's another maiden, though, at least it should go past 10 overs...

That's rancid bowling from Bishoo, short and wide and Hafeez is all over it like a stoodent on a kebab, lacing him through the covers for four. That's dreamy from Hafeez, a twirl to the thrid-man fence, and that's the fifty up from 47 deliveries. "Game over as far as I am concerned," emails Tim O'Connor, as if he has stumbled upon some previously unfathomable truth on his way to the watercooler... 
 

This is a head-rolling defeat for West Indies, they have been splattered like a fly on a the windscreen of a Hummer. That's help-yourself stuff from Sammy and Kamran needs no second invitation, marmalising through the covers for four. Kamran goes for some heave-ho and is beaten, but Pakistan can afford to take plenty of liberties now.

Steve, Abu Dhabi, in the TMS inbox: "We've got Richard Illingworth and Graham Hick in school to-day, while they're in Abu Dhabi for a Lashings XI game. Both rated England's chances at winning this World Cup at "er, no.......". Thought it good to refresh Illingworth's memory about his opening the bowling for England during the World Cup....."ah yes, that experiment! Well I did get a wicket in my first over..."

Hafeez picks up three courtesy of an inside-out drive and that's the end of the powerplay.

The Sammy Mystery deepens - leg-side guff and Hafeez helps the ball on its way to the boundary fence. One more for Hafeez with a leisurely drive through the covers before Kamran adds three to the total with a clip through mid-wicket. Forty-seven needed, 39 overs remaining.

One for Akmal with a controlled drive through the covers and Hafeez picks up a couple with a tuck off his pads. Four more - short from Bishoo and Hafeez shows quick feet to dance into position and heave over mid-wicket.

David (Toledo, Spain) in the TMS inbox: "Sad news about Fred Titmus. Back in the days of Boycs' favourites (uncovered wickets) I used to enjoy watching him in harness with Jim Sims &/or Jack Young. One undying memory is of the day a plum-voiced Lord's announcer drew the crowd's attention to a printing error on the scorecard: 'F.J. Titmus should read Titmus, F.J."

Hafeez showing Fairy Liquid hands to feather Bishoo to the third-man fence. Bishoo gives the next one a bit of rip and Hafeez edges to just in front of Gayle at slip. One for Hafeez with an ease into the covers and Kamran plays a similar stroke for a single of his own - 32 runs required.

Pakistan's national day today, or so I'm told, so this victory and the manner of it will please the folks back home no end. Two for Kamran with a steer backward of point and he adds one with a back-foot shunt.

Chris K in the TMS inbox: "My abiding memory of Fred Titmus was when he returned from a tour of the Windies after losing several digits from his foot in a boating accident. He was fielding against Warwickshire and he let the ball slip between his legs and go for four. One wag from Warwickshire shouted: "Must've gone between your toes, Fred." Fred smiled. What a gent."

Tony in the TMS inbox: "Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they are sexy."

MAIDEN OVER! When I watch this West Indies side play I sometimes imagine Sir Vivian Richards watching back at home, made almost tearful through anger. Very few in this side are fit to share a net with Sir Viv...

Two singles from Roach's first five balls leave Pakistan needing 26 from 199 balls. This game meandering to its conclusion now, and it's rarely reached more than a trickle.

Well, if it's any consolation, you could have been listening to the budget. The headline? Things aren't getting any better... and Liz Taylor's dead. Whataver you do don't stray onto the main news page, it will rather take the edge off the sunshine... four for Akmal, top-edging a bumper from Roach...

Hafeez tugs Rampaul round the corner for three and Pakistan pass 100 and need 11 to win. Make that seven - short and wide from Rampaul and Kamran swats him away for four...

Hafeez has a go at a bumper, top-edges, but the ball lands in no man's land. Two more singles follow before Kamran delivers the coup de grace with a clunk for four through the covers.

Well, you have to say Pakistan were clinical, they look like a real threat now in this tournament. The less said about the West Indies the better, a little bit sad to be honest... Pakistan play the winners of India v Australia tomorrow, that's me signing off...