As Autism Awareness Month draws to a close, my thoughts are fast turning to NEXT month - and Mother's Day.

This year, I'm inviting autism moms to submit a guest blog to be published on this site during the month of May.  Here are the details:

• Autism moms (or the people who love them) are invited to submit a guest blog of up to 1,000 words.  These should be personal reflections on motherhood and autism rather than essays on the state of the autism community, public policy, etc.
• Photos and short author bios are welcome but optional.  Be sure you have the rights to any images and can provide a credit and caption.
• If you are already a blogger, please send me an original piece that is NOT presently on your blog, along with a link to your blog so I can include it in the post.
• I'm hoping to include moms of all sorts - that is, international moms; moms of very young children and moms of adults; moms who are themselves autistic and moms who never heard of autism until their child was born; moms of children with Asperger syndrome and moms of children with severe autism... moms who are hopeful and moms who are discouraged, moms who write for a living and moms who are just now starting to put their experiences in writing.
• While I am open to all kinds of moms, I will not be publishing blogs that are thinly veiled (or unveiled) ads or promotions for a particular therapy, therapist, product, political belief, etc.

Please shoot me an email at autism.guide@about.com with any questions or to let me know you plan to submit a blog.  I'm asking that blogs be submitted between now and May 8, 2011 (Mother's Day).

PLEASE PASS THIS POST ALONG!

If there's one issue that's shared by all young children with autism, it's difficulty with ordinary play skills.  Little ones with autism may line up or stack toys, play by themselves and resist interaction with their peers, or simply spin, rock or otherwise spend time in their own world.  It's this self-absorption that makes it so hard for autistic children to learn from imitation, socialize with other children, or connect with the adults in their lives.

In theory, parents can play a key role in actually teaching their autistic children to play.  But while "playing with your child" sounds like a no-brainer, it can be very, very challenging for the parent of an autistic child.

What's so tough about playing with an autistic child?

• It's not always easy to even capture the attention of an autistic child, or to hold their attention for more than a minute or so
• Once engaged, a child with autism will often prefer to do the same things over and over again, and it can be hard to break the pattern
• Children with autism will rarely bring their own ideas or energy to interactive play, so all the ideas and energy must come from the parent.  This can be exhausting and frustrating.
• The usual tools we use to engage children - asking questions, offering suggestions, starting an intriguing activity - may go right past the child with autism.

But all of these issues are nothing compared with parents' very real sense of hurt and sadness when their own child ignores them in favor of an internal world or object.  Yes, most parents can get past a feeling of rejection to experiment with new ways of engaging and connecting.  But when we reach out to our child and he ignores us; when we hug our child and she pulls away; when we engage our child and he appears oblivious - it's extraordinarily difficult to find the emotional energy to keep trying.

Another major hurdle is the sad reality that an awful lot of parents have forgotten how to just play.  Sure, they can play board games or sports - but the idea of  pretending to be someone or something they're not is no longer appealing.  Most parents can just arrange play dates and stand back while their children practice symbolic interactions, build relationships, experience and manage emotions.  But parents with autistic kids don't have that luxury.

There are developmental therapies geared specifically to providing parents with the tools to play with their autistic children - and those therapies are not only tools for play, but also tools for communicative and cognitive growth.  Floortime and RDI are both good directions for parents to turn.  But even with support and information about "how to play with your autistic child," most parents feel a bit overwhelmed by the challenge.

How do you play with your young child with autism?  Have you found tools or tricks to keep yourself up and energized, and to keep the creative juices flowing?

I've already received the same link twice today - a link to an article in the New York Times entitled The Crash and Burn of an Autism Guru.  It's a piece about Andrew Wakefield, whose 1998 study linking measles vaccine and autism was retracted from the Lancet, and whose medical license was revoked in the UK.  Some believe that Wakefield is a charlatan.  Some believe he's a martyr.  This piece explains both perspectives.  Perhaps as importantly, it has brought  Wakefield into focus for the wider world that, until recently, had never heard of the man, his theories, or his life story.

Who is Wakefield?

J.B. Handley, founded of Generation Rescue, is quoted as saying, "To our community, Andrew Wakefield is Nelson Mandela and Jesus Christ rolled up into one.  He's a symbol of how all of us feel."

Brian Deer, a reporter writing for the British Medical Journal, "... compares him to the kind of religious leader who is a true believer but relies on the occasional use of smoke and mirrors to goose the faith of his followers. "He believed it was true," Deer says of Wakefield's theory of M.M.R., but he was also willing to stretch the truth to get more financing for more research. Deer theorizes that Wakefield's maneuverings were all rationalized by his conviction that he was right: "He would prove it next time."

There's no doubt that the autism community has strong feelings for and against Wakefield.  If Handley's description of Wakefield as "Jesus Christ" represents one point of view, it's probably fair to say that there are those who view him precisely the opposite light - as a sort of anti-Christ.

Do you have an opinion regarding Andrew Wakefield?  Share it here!

Note: the link above allows readers to write an opinion piece which will become a permanent part of the About.com site, but it is not intended to host a back-and-forth debate.  If you are interested in discussing this issue at length, I invite you to use the Forum!

A new survey from the Kennedy Krieger Interactive Autism Network finds that "approximately half of parents of children with autism report that their child elopes, with the behavior peaking at age four. Among these families, nearly 50% say that their child went missing long enough to cause significant concern about safety."  While the specific reasons for this are not known, parents responding to the survey with their own interpretations as follows:

o Enjoys exploring (54%)
o Heads for a favorite place (36%)
o Escapes demands/anxieties (33%)
o Pursues special topic (31%)
o Escapes sensory discomfort (27%)

As many as 40% of respondents say they are concerned that their child with autism will wander out of the house at night, and 62% say they stay away from public activities for fear that their child with autism will wander or bolt.

Our experience may be similar to that of other families: our son, Tom, was a "bolter" during his preschool and kindergarten years.  He would, often without warning, run out of a classroom or wander away from a group on the playground.  Sometimes we could see that his interest was piqued; at other times he would head for a favorite shop or item - or run away when told "no."   Today, while he doesn't actually bolt, he does respond to stressful situations by talking about his desire to get away.  His ability to communicate his feelings verbally, however, seems to have lessened his need to actually leave the scene - and his maturing understanding of the wider world means that he does understand the potential dangerous or frightening consequences of his actions.

Children with autism, of course, are often limited in their ability to express their thoughts and feelings verbally.  Even high functioning children with autism, at the age of 3, 4 or 5, may not have the emotional and cognitive maturity to stop, think, and use their words.  In addition, they may be unusually naive about the dangers of the wide world.  When anxiety or sensory issues strike, and emotions run high, bolting may seem like the only viable option.  There are increasingly frequent media stories of children with autism who wander.  In some cases these children return or are returned safely, but several recent stories have told of children who have drowned in pools or been injured as a result of an "elopement" episode.

In many cases, too, the incidence of wandering doesn't end when a child becomes a teen or an adult.  This reality can be very frightening, both for caregivers and for the individual on the autism spectrum when he or she is lost or frightened.  All too often, too, an adult with autism who is lost and frightened can wind up in trouble with the law - or in physical danger.

Not long ago, I wrote a blog about a potential new medical code for autistic elopers.  While some favor the idea, others are concerned that such a code could result in more restraint and seclusion for children with autism.  Another concern is that once such a code is in place, caregivers might cease to search for the causes of bolting or wandering, assuming that it's "just part of autism."

Have you experience wandering or bolting?  What are your thoughts on the subject?

More on Wandering and Autism

• A Medical Code for Autistic Wandering: What's Your Opinion?
  
• Tragic Death in Nova Scotia Underlines Safety Concerns Related to Autism and Wandering
  
• Safety and the Autistic Runaway
  
• Your Advice Requested: Keeping Track of "Elopers" with Autism