1. Home
  2. Entertainment
  3. Political Humor

Best Tina Fey Quotes Ever

Wednesday May 18, 2011
Stephen Colbert Quotes Happy birthday to Tina Fey, who turns 41 today. As a tribute, we've compiled some of the best Tina Fey quotes of all time:

"On Fox News, they address her as Governor Palin. Which is like calling me 'Dairy Queen employee.' I was once, but I quit." —Tina Fey, in an appearance on David Letterman

"It's just so great to be back on Fox News, a network that both pays me and shows me the questions ahead of time. I just hope that tonight the lamestream media won't twist my words by repeating them verbatim." —Tina Fey, impersonating Sarah Palin on Saturday Night Live

"Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue. In what other profession would you brag about not knowing stuff? 'I'm not one of those fancy Harvard heart surgeons. I'm just an unlicensed plumber with a dream and I'd like to cut your chest open.' The crowd cheers." —Tina Fey, writing in her book, Bossypants

Read more classic Tina Fey quotes...

More Funny Quotes:
Best Jon Stewart Quotes
Best Stephen Colbert Quotes
Best Bill Maher Quotes
Latest Late-Night Jokes

Get Political Humor on Facebook and Twitter

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: The Best Jokes About Would-Be President Trump

Tuesday May 17, 2011
Donald Trump Cartoons The political comedy world has suffered a crushing blow with the news that Donald Trump will not be running for president. Oh well, the jokes were fun while they lasted. Here's a roundup of the best digs at The Donald:

"Donald Trump is not running for president. This is devastating news for Trump's supporters — all of whom are late-night comedians." —Conan O'Brien

"Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair." —Jimmy Fallon

Trump/Palin 2012 Dream Ticket "They have to put Trump on every program, spewing his crazy ideas, because his poll numbers are so high. And his poll numbers are so high because they put him on every program, spewing his crazy ideas." —Jon Stewart

"Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won 'Apprentice.' Because nothing says 'not racist' like making a black man run your errands." —Conan O'Brien

Donald Trump: We Shall Overcomb "If Trump does become president, I hope he puts a wig on his plane and calls it Hair Force One." —Jimmy Kimmel

"Stupid presidents, smart presidents, white presidents, black presidents -- doesn't work! What this country needs is a crazy Third World dictator. And Donald Trump has what it takes to be that. He's already got a plane with his name on it, solid gold buildings, a harem..." —Lewis Black

Read more Donald Trump jokes...

See Also:
Jon Stewart to Donald Trump: 'Don't Quit!'
Borowitz: Comedians Beg Trump to Reconsider
Colbert Mocks Huckabee, Trump For Dropping Out
10 Best Trump Jokes from the WH Correspondents' Dinner

Related:
Best Donald Trump Cartoons
Palin/Trump 2012 Dream Ticket
Latest Late-Night Jokes

Get Political Humor on Facebook and Twitter

Political Cartoons of the Week

Sunday May 15, 2011

Political Cartoons of the Week

Check out our political cartoon gallery featuring the week's best cartoons.

New this week: cartoons on Newt Gingrich's presidential bid, the GOP presidential field, the state of the economy, and more.

More Political Cartoon Collections
Best Cartoons of 2011 (So Far)
Osama Bin Laden Cartoons
Barack Obama Cartoons
Liberal Cartoons
Conservative Cartoons

Get Political Humor on Facebook and Twitter

The Week's Best Late-Night Jokes

Sunday May 15, 2011

Late-Night Political Jokes

"The SEALs recovered an extensive stash of pornography from Bin Laden's compound. It's probably not easy just having sex with the same 11 wives all the time. There were interesting titles: 'Debby Does Abbottabad,' 'Deep Goat,' 'Bare Ankles 4,' and '2 Humps, 1 Camel.'" —Jimmy Fallon

"The Interior Minister of Pakistan said yesterday they have nothing to hide. Well, not anymore." —Jay Leno

"I don't know if you heard this: It's been reported Al Qaeda has not yet picked a new leader to run their terrorist organization. Yeah. Apparently, candidates keep losing interest after asking, 'So what happened to the last guy?" —Conan O'Brien

"Another Republican is about to announce he is running for president. Newt Gingrich is about to announce. Some people say Newt Gingrich may have trouble winning over traditional values voters because he has had three marriages. So as a result, the campaign has announced a new slogan, 'Newt Gingrich, so committed to marriage, he can't stop doing it.'" —Conan O'Brien

Read More...

Discuss in the forum

  1. Home
  2. Entertainment
  3. Political Humor

©2011 About.com. All rights reserved. 

A part of The New York Times Company.