CONNECT    

The 2012 Speculatron Weekly Roundup For June 3, 2011

First Posted: 06- 3-11 06:16 PM   |   Updated: 06- 3-11 08:58 PM

This week, Mitt Romney made news by formally announcing that he is running for president, as you may have suspected if you happened to have been alive and living on the planet Earth at any time since about 2003, when it became clear that's what Romney wanted to do with his life.

Yeah, okay, so it was something of an anticlimax, wasn't it? And you can tell that's exactly how the media received the news as well.

Fox News Channel was the first to cut away from Mitt's formal announcement, though whether it was because they were bored or just irked that someone not from Roger Ailes' approved stable of presidential showponies was taking up the screen time.

It didn't matter, though: MSNBC, in short order, cut away as well. CNN lingered a bit longer, and then, perplexingly, cut to a studio shot seconds before Romney finally said that he was running for the White House. Was it poor timing, or is CNN just "the most trusted name in talking over news that is suddenly happening?" It's tough to say.

Apparently, it also became tough this week to say anything nice about the guy. On the coattails of Mitt jumping into the race, came a clutch of statements that seemed to indicate that Romney wasn't going to benefit from Reagan's Eleventh Commandment. Sarah Palin, who was all up in Romney's grill, geographically speaking, warned him that the Tea Party didn't care for his invention of ObamaCare. Rudy Giuliani said the same thing, only more bluntly. Tim Pawlenty dinged Romney for being inauthentic. Ron Paul set up Romney as the villain to inspire his coming "money bomb." FEMA failure-boy Michael Brown threw a barb at Mitt. And since everyone else was getting in on the act, train-wreck Senate candidate Joe Miller announced that he was starting a "Stop Mitt Romney" campaign -- proving once again that in America, if you work hard and are a biped, you too can grow up to start your very own "Stop Mitt Romney" campaign.

Speaking of Alaska's many semi-professional vagrants, most of the rest of this week's 2012 campaign coverage was dedicated to Sarah Palin's publicity vacation, which traveled up the East Coast, media in tow. Donald Trump took her out for pizza at New York City's worst pizza chain, in an apparent effort to teach the suddenly-wearing-a-Star-of-David-because-I-hear-there-be-Jews-afoot Palin what a shonde was. Speaking of deep and relentless shame, it turns out that Palin's concept of who Paul Revere was and what he did was largely based on the Beastie Boys song, or something.

Between Mitt and Sarah -- and Anthony Weiner's crotch mysteries! -- there wasn't much of a newshole left to go around for the other candidates. Rick Santorum is set to reveal his plans this coming Monday, so get excited for that. Buddy Roemer has made the entire state of Iowa an intriguing offer. Herman Cain continues to ascend in the eyes of voters and pundits.

Story continues below

And does anyone know where Newt Gingrich has gone? Rumor has it that he's off on some cruise in the Greek Isles, actually. I suppose he won't be able to bring continual ruin to his candidacy if he stays on vacation, so good for him!

For all the campaign news, please enter the 2012 Speculatron for the week of June 3, 2011.

Michele Bachmann
1 of 14
So, for some time, we've been waiting for Bachmann to come out and just say that she's running for president, but previously speculated-upon plans did not come to pass.

Now the signs that she will jump into the thick of the 2012 race continued to mount. She's been staffing up in the early states. Her chief of staff has taken a leave of absence so that he can work for Bachmann in "an exciting new position." And God Himself apparently finally decided, "Bachmann for President? Whoa, man, okay: I definitely want to see this."

Of course, there's also one obvious sign: she's going to be participating in the June 13th GOP debate in New Hampshire, and I'm pretty sure they don't let people who aren't running for president participate in those things.

Politico didn't know what to think of the possibility that two Mormons might run for president, so you can imagine that they find the prospect of two women doing it to be very shiny!

But you know what we've got no idea about yet? Whether or not Bachmann can pass the all-important litmus test of liking the Paul Ryan Medicare Plan that fewer and fewer people like with each passing day. Though one thing seems more certain: she probably does not like the Catholic Church, and could very well be of the belief that the Pope is the Anti-Christ:

When Bachmann was running for Congress in 2006, her official website bio said she was a member of the Salem Evangelical Lutheran Church of Stillwater, which belongs to the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod. WELS is one of the very conservative "confessional" Lutheran denominations that maintains that the "antichrist" is the pope. You know, the leader of the Catholic Church? That pope. WELS confirms that they still "identify this 'Antichrist' with the Pa
... more
Total comments: 2954 | Post a Comment
1 of 14
Rate This Slide
Must-Watch Candidate
Less Likely Contender

  • 1

  • 2

  • 3

  • 4

  • 5

  • 6

  • 7

  • 8

  • 9

  • 10
Current Top 5 Slides
loading...
Users who voted on this slide
loading...

Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.

FOLLOW HUFFPOST POLITICS
Subscribe to the HuffPost Hill newsletter!
This week, Mitt Romney made news by formally announcing that he is running for president, as you may have suspected if you happened to have been alive and living on the planet Earth at any time since ...
This week, Mitt Romney made news by formally announcing that he is running for president, as you may have suspected if you happened to have been alive and living on the planet Earth at any time since ...
 
  • Comments
  • 2,949
  • Pending Comments
  • 1
  • View FAQ
Login or connect with: 
More Login Options
Post Comment Preview Comment
To reply to a Comment: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to.
View All
Favorites
Highlights
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2 3 4 5  Next ›  Last »   (59 total)
photo
TYRANNASAURUS
people don't taste good
7 hours ago (11:05 AM)
HOW STUPID ARE SOME PEOPLE....­........Mi­ssy Palin QUIT the governorsh­ip of Alaska to chase the $$$$$$$$$ in the lower 48........ You think so little of this country that you want her to run for president so you can vote for her....... and you don't find that pathetic?
21 hours ago (8:56 PM)
I for one am looking forward to the fireworks. These 2 have provided my political entertainm­ent for the past 2 years with no signs of slowing down. From mooselip's "I can see Russia" to crazy eyes' , "You're the state where the shot was heard around the world in Lexington and Concord." they have provided fodder for every stand-up comedian out there. I can't wait for their first debate.
22 hours ago (8:15 PM)
http://ame­ricansforp­etraeus201­2.org This is where our next President "lives" on the web.
photo
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
iconoclast6
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
18 hours ago (12:42 AM)
Delusional­.
23 hours ago (7:32 PM)
Sarah Palin is not presidenti­al material. She has no poker face. If americans can't even take her seriously, how could we expect the rest of the "male run" world to? She is an attention grabber, usually slinging mud. She is quick to tell us all what's wrong with everyone she doesn't like, but needs to look in her own closet.
mage
homemaker
23 hours ago (7:23 PM)
The German Army wants it's helmet back for their WWll museum...
23 hours ago (7:05 PM)
I can't imagine why Palin needs to worry about wearing a helmet, there can['t be much to protect.
21 hours ago (9:43 PM)
I'm sure the driver of that bike was wearng a "If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off The Back" T-shirt
photo
scottaarrg
My dog loves me
03:57 PM on 6/05/2011
I thought this was an advertisem­ent for a new X-Men Movie with 14 new characters starting with Laser-Eye.
02:43 PM on 6/05/2011
Palin/Bach­mann 2008!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jbvbwysu
05:01 PM on 6/05/2011
Campaign endorsed by: Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, David Letterman, the entire panel of "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me," and ME! F/F
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Onlygodknowswhy
and you are not god
02:12 PM on 6/05/2011
Dont worry the pribate sector will save us.
Ya right.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jbvbwysu
05:01 PM on 6/05/2011
The private sector always does the right thing.

Puh-leeze!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Onlygodknowswhy
and you are not god
02:11 PM on 6/05/2011
Dont worry the.privat­e sector will dabe us. Lol lmao.
I couldnt keep a straight face.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jbvbwysu
05:02 PM on 6/05/2011
More like "the private sector will R@PE us."
01:50 PM on 6/05/2011
Her eldest son was charged and pled guilty for cutting the brakes on school buses, breaking and entering and thief. A deal was made to drop charges if he went into the army. Bristol was also charged with breaking and entering and drug charges. The younger daughter was with a group of kids that broke into some houses. Bristol was also known to be very wild and a heavy drinker while pregnant. Not my kind of family values, maybe yours. The marriage of Todd and Sarah is interestin­g in that it really isn't a marriage. She has purchased a house in Az. and Todd is remaining in Alaska.
01:07 PM on 6/05/2011
That picture makes Bachman look kinda hot.
photo
HUFFPOST PUNDIT
iconoclast6
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
01:29 PM on 6/05/2011
If you like the "mean mommy" type, I suppose.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jbvbwysu
05:02 PM on 6/05/2011
Glenn Close looked hot in "Fatal Attraction­," too! ;)
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
MIZZOU-DMCRT-PLEXICO
12:16 PM on 6/05/2011
Oh $ar-rah..B­uy ya books, and buy ya books. All you do is look at the pics and eat the pages!

Peace
Mizzou
11:18 AM on 6/05/2011
Sarah looks good in that WW II Brain Bucket...I know it would be a trick question, but I would love to hear her tell us who we fought in WW II.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
stacknef
If you quote the bible, I'll quote the facts..
6 hours ago (11:45 AM)
Obviously.­.... the British!
10:33 AM on 6/05/2011
The only answer for republican­s is a pay per view steel cage match. All go in, only one can emerge victorious­.