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Susan Orlins

Susan Orlins

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What Was Anthony Weiner Thinking?

Posted: 06/ 9/11 04:45 PM ET

It's hard for me to look at guys like Anthony Weiner without feeling more embarrassed for them than I ever feel for myself.

I doubt there are many men who don't have porn stashed away under the bed or in a closet somewhere. A woman I know discovered her husband's "Playboy" and other magazines in locked briefcases after he had died.

Some men are more open and keep paperbacks, like Hot Babysitter in Chains, out on their night tables.

On the continuum of sexual diversions for married men, the act of sexting lies somewhere between Hustler and Rielle Hunter. It's up to each couple to figure out where to draw the line.

For public figures, the collateral damage of getting caught at sexting and other dalliances is augmented exponentially.

Popular wisdom suggests it's power that leads to the arrogance that leads the Weiners, the Clintons, the Edwardses--such intelligent men--to delude themselves into believing they can get away with acts so potentially humiliating to themselves, their families.

Some men do get away with it. Remember Joey Buttafuoco? Though not a public figure until his girlfriend Amy Fisher shot his wife Mary Jo in the head, his wife didn't leave him, until more than a decade later. Joey and his wife Mary Jo are my personal favorites.

The way pols are dropping like flies these days, it makes you wonder whether everyone is sexting, while we know only about the ones who get found out.

It's hard to believe Clinton deluded himself that he could risk his country's well-being, playing the cigar game with Monica Lewinsky. But for me, it's almost harder to believe anyone would risk exposing his family so publicly. And so it goes with all these politicians.

It doesn't excuse them, but I do think it's delusion that allows them to take chances. Otherwise, what could someone like Weiner possibly have been thinking? It's unimaginable he'd have sexted his crotch bulge if he'd actually gone through the scenario in his mind of getting discovered.

Or did Anthony Weiner say to himself, Hm, what's the worst that could happen? After all I'm just tweeting a photo of my waxed chest and the swell swell in my Jockeys to at least 6 women, who are strangers and who are probably old enough to drink alcopops. I'll be cautious. No one will ever know.

Weiner says there were at least 6 women involved. At least? Does he not know or is it too hard to keep track? And maybe he thought word would get out if he went for 7.

What do you figure these guys were thinking?

Read my other articles about divorce and more on Huff Po, Home Goes Strong and Confessions of a Worrywart.

 

Follow Susan Orlins on Twitter: www.twitter.com/susanorlins

 
Favorite headline this week. about refusing to quit, paper blares "Weiner Sticks It Out"
Just noticed I got email from rep weiner apr 14. about repubs, he writes: "It's shamefiul. It's immoral." can't make it up
Party Bosses Battle Over Weiner Scandal: The heads of both major political parties battled Sunday over the handl...
SEXTING WEINER OFF TO REHAB
From Ch 3 News... Weiner defies calls from top Democrats to resign (Click link to read)
TMZ: Rep. used congressional gym as backdrop
Ex-Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick tweets from prison about Weiner's 'sext game' being weak:
More Weiner pix - taken at House Members Gym
After call for resignation has to admit "at the end of the day a member of Congress makes his own decisions."
9 hours ago from web
NYC NOW President on Weiner: 'We're trying to give him the benefit of the doubt'
9 hours ago from web
Rep. defies calls from top to resign
He's working; hard for you. RT Rep. Weiner Used Congressional Gym As Backdrop
10 hours ago from web
Weiner defies calls from top Democrats to resign.
Also on Reliable Sources, Dana Milbank, Amy Holmes & Jane Hall on Weiner and the media, and Adam Buckman on Pelley's debut/Katie's future.
11 hours ago from web
Fishbowl DE slams Politico's Allen for v-odd absence of Weiner items in his "Playbook." Must be a backstory here.
15 hours ago from web
Drudge: SEXTING WEINER OFF TO REHAB
Weiner seeks leave of absence from House
Kudos to and for their work
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Rachel Spencer
13 minutes ago (12:53 PM)
I dont know what they are thinking especially after they see one guy after another go down for this, they still think some how it will be different for them.
03:39 AM on 6/10/2011
paperbacks on night tables? if you're suggesting that men read, you haven't been around actual men in a long time. it's more like snuff porn that's been downloaded onto ipads these days. get with the times.
10:39 PM on 6/09/2011
I don't think he was thinking at all, Susan. It appears he did what felt good *to him* at the moment without ever considerin­g consequenc­es of his behavior or its influences on others. And because he was been able to get away with it for so long, he likely developed a sense of invincibil­ity, which only emboldened him to take more and greater impulsive risks.

The guy is unfit for office. In a way, it is a good thing this behavior was exposed relatively early on, before his political career progressed any further, thus preventing him from causing a possibly greater damage to others and more dramatic political fall-out.

I do have to take exception, however, to comparing Weiner with Edwards (whom I cannot stand personally­) or Mark Sanford on the other side of the political aisle.

As questionab­le as Edwards and Sanford's actions were, each apparently *fell in love* with one other woman. This led to adultery and the rest of their sorry tales, but at least it appears there was a deeper emotional engagement on their part with a female person, and not just an impersonal­, though virtual, use of indistingu­ishable female bodies (or body parts) a la Weiner.
07:08 PM on 6/09/2011
Also, you would have thought he would have thought out the whole "Weiner's weiner" thing beforehand­. It is hard to feel sorry for him, there is really no excuse or explanatio­n that makes me think that he deserves a Congressio­nal seat. He needs to go.
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jf12
I am gray and italic
05:31 PM on 6/09/2011
It's not delusion: it's the cold hard fact that they got away with it before, so therefore it could work again. FWIW there are many men who don't "do" porn etc. Good, hard working, kind men, who don't get away with anything.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Susan Orlins
06:43 PM on 6/09/2011
Well, then what were they thinking the first time they did it? And I didn't mean to suggest there was anything wrong with men who indulge in printed porn; I think that plenty of good, hard-worki­­ng, kind men do . . . . perhaps in lieu of sexting and other activities that require another person.
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jf12
I am gray and italic
09:27 PM on 6/09/2011
If they are really good looking then they don't have to try or exert themselves at all, for example if Joey B were Brad Pitt, he probably wouldn't have had to buy her beer and serenaded her etc. For other guys who get away with it sometimes, it probably doesn't work first time every time so we are seeing those cases where it did work.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Guscat
05:20 PM on 6/09/2011
Was he thinking or did he have no control over a compulsion­? This is not a defense, but if Weiner has some sort of personalit­y disorder he may have had no control over his actions.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
inmyhumbleopinion
Vote third party.
17 hours ago (7:39 PM)
I'm sure that will be his lawyer's defense should he be brought up on ethics violations­.