October 18, 2011 10:30 AM

Etiquette for a digital world

(CBS News) 

Minding your manners used to be a pretty straightforward directive, like, "Finish your vegetables" or "Take out the trash," but times are changing -- most notably, with the addition of mobile technology and social networks, according to Peggy Post, etiquette guru Emily Post's great-granddaughter.

So how do you brave this new world with courtesy?

Post, co-author of the 18th edition of "Etiquette: Manners for a New World," said you should start with what you contribute online.

"This is all wonderful, social networks are great, but so many people text or send a message, put up a picture, without thinking. The biggest mistake is putting something there and then you can't get it back. It's out there. It's not confidential, obviously, even if you stop your Facebook account, it's already there," she said.

Post says it's important to remember that people will see what you put up online.

"Don't post a friend's photo on Facebook that's going to embarrass him or her," she said. "Think about what you do. Don't just blast somebody. Try to be civil on whether it's Facebook or Twitter or whatever."

When talking about Facebook, in particular, Post says it's OK to "defriend" someone. But how do you do it gracefully?

"You ignore whatever they've sent you," she said. "Then after a while, the person's friend list can go down."

But does that work with break-ups?

Post said, "What I say don't do is break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend or your ex by way of Facebook. That's a face to face or at least a verbal encounter."

"Early Show" co-anchor Erica Hill remarked, "It's really bad if what you do is change your Facebook status and you're waiting for them to realize you're no longer together."

On Facebook, Post said it's OK to delete your own comments or "untag" photos if you have regrets about the content.

"Have a conversation with your friend(s) who might be putting those pictures up, also," Post said.

What about when you're out with friends or family, is it ever OK to have your mobile device present?

Post said, "You're on-call, your wife is about to have a baby, you might put it there. You're a doctor on-call. But be discreet. Put it down low. Excuse yourself. Texting at the table drives people crazy. Think about the people you're with."

For more on the changes to etiquette - as seen in "Etiquette: Manners for a New World," read an excerpt from now (pdf).

© 2011 CBS Interactive Inc.. All Rights Reserved.
Add a Comment
by anonymous010 October 18, 2011 2:39 PM EDT
I'm a little surprised that classrooms weren't mentioned here. It used to be that I could read a student's text aloud during class and they'd get embarrassed and put the phone away. Nowadays, students actually have the nerve to try to carry on a conversation with me about whatever it was they were texting about (as if I cared). I really wish I could throw their cellphones in the microwave when they do that.
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by quatermass2 October 18, 2011 12:04 PM EDT
Can I please smack someone who texts throughout an entire movie? Or point and laugh at someone so engrossed in their texting that they fall off of the curb, walk into a pole, or drag themselves through doggie doo-doo? How about the jerk jabbering away like a monkey on crack, walking around and waving his arms because he is just SO cool to be wearing a Bluetooth headset? It isn't just the "social network" sites that need some work.
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by workerdroid October 18, 2011 2:24 PM EDT
Thanks for the laugh. And its funny 'cause its true. There is an entitlement mentality among many today. They still text and drive, tailgate, speed, crowd, talk loud in restaraunts and theaters, and any number of social discourtesies.
The monkey on crack line is still going through my head and I'm at my desk laughing like an idiot. I gotta share this with my coworkers.
Later all.
by NinthSt78 October 18, 2011 11:53 AM EDT
Like the on-off switch on the computer, we still have two magic words-- please and thank-you.
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by GVJaneAz October 18, 2011 11:37 AM EDT
Obama, the Unions, and extreme liberals should all be made to read this.
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by quatermass2 October 18, 2011 12:01 PM EDT
Why limit it? Far-right kooks, the Koch brothers, every idiot carrying an iPhone, and the rest of the zombies should, too.
by Jaylah54 October 18, 2011 1:31 PM EDT
Remember, whenever you point your finger at someone else, you have three pointed right back at yourself.
by Forty-Four October 18, 2011 11:32 AM EDT
Here is an idea, get rid of Facebook and twitter, and start talking to one another. I am fine with texting, which is what I prefer, but there has to be face to face (not video chatting), and phone calling one another. facebook and twitter are the biggest wastes of time invented to date. I'm sure something stupider will come along, but for now, those two are it.
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by anonymous010 October 18, 2011 2:44 PM EDT
I agree absolutely.
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