Big Dogs / Tiny Kittens: You're Welcome

Doug Molitor, 05/11/12

L.A. Comedy Writer

Mitt Romney has a dozen explanations for his youthful indiscretions.

Carol Hartsell, 05/10/12

Comedy Editor, The Huffington Post

At the risk of seeming insensitive as we approach Mother's Day, I have a bone to pick with everyone out there who has chosen -- or tacitly accepted -- the role of motherhood. Could you please, for the love of God, stop referring to those of us who have chosen to not have kids as "childless"?

Will Durst, 05/11/12

Political comic, former radio talk show host, syndicated columnist, author, motivational speaker

Rush Limbaugh jumped into the fray accusing Obama of waging a "War on Marriage." Everything's a "war" with this guy. Bet he calls breakfast a War on Pancakes.

Jason Good, 05/11/12

Comedian and Writer at jasongood.net

Is attachment parenting better than other kinds of parenting? No, it's just different. Will I buy TIME Magazine? No, I will steal it. Do I enjoy breasts? Yes. Do I like heavy metal music? You bet. Does that have anything to do with anything? No it does not.

Bill Chameides, 05/11/12

Dean, Duke University's Nicholas School of the Environment

Environmentalists took over Hollywood and the media ages ago. And now, with those crazies in the White House, they've taken over our government. Next, they'll take control of corporate America and then you can kiss your big old, made-in-the-USA carbon footprint goodbye.

Jeff Danziger, 05/11/12

Political cartoonist syndicated by the NYTimes worldwide

Louis Virtel, 05/11/12

West Coast Entertainment Editor, AfterElton.com

Todd Hartley, 05/11/12

Columnist, screenwriter, playwright, lyricist, novelist, blogger and stand-up comedian

Just last week, a 23-year-old Nebraska man named Tyler Gold legally changed his name to Tyrannosaurus Rex Gold. Gold wrote that "name recognition is important, and the new name is more recognizable." On that count, he's entirely correct.

Susie Sampson, 05/11/12

Patriotic American

It has been quite a week for the gays. North Carolina said no, Obama said yes. It's all very confusin'. I mean, What Would Jesus Do? I wish I at least had the t-shirt to inspire me.

Tony Phillips, 05/11/12

Grant writer

Evidently, under South Carolina law any vehicle that displays "any sticker, decal, emblem or other device containing obscene or indecent words, photographs or depictions," violates the law.

Sybil Adelman Sage, 05/11/12

mosaic artist/writer

My name seems to have been omitted from the guest list for the event at George Clooney's. I know this will be discovered and be truly embarrassing to the Obama campaign.

Laurence Hughes, 05/11/12

Writer, Book Flack

The movie The Hunger Games has inspired a number of mash-ups that mix the film with a certain children's game. It's time the meme was extended to the original novel.

Keith Ryan, 05/10/12

Struggling comedy artisan

If you fell asleep during the 22 words he used before he got to the point, in a nutshell, it was "Whatever dude, they're in love, stop harshing their buzz". All of which is entirely awesome and momentous to anyone with a brain, obviously.

Michael Solomon, 05/10/12

Author, 'Now It's Funny: How I Survived Cancer, Divorce and Other Looming Disasters'

I suppose we'll never know exactly how the first circumcision pitch went, though it's outcome may partially explain why all these millennia later, so many of us are drawn to the movie business.

Julie Gerstenblatt, 05/10/12

Writer, freelance columnist

You don't see a lot of thong companies advertising their flosswear in Runner's World or Fitness magazine, but I'm thinking there's a niche they could fill quite nicely.

Justin Halpern, 05/09/12

Author

There is no definitive guidebook on how to pick the right partner, and even if there were, I'm way too dumb to write it.

Paul Szep, 05/08/12

Two-time Pulitzer prize-winning cartoonist