Dating a silent artist type

I tend to date artist types. Musicians, painters, actors, etc. My newest flame is a writer (he's 27). I am also a writer and 24. We are crazy about each other. He is ridiculously kind, handsome, talented, and charming. We have goals and morals in common, and many of our tastes are similar. We have both been in many relationships and feel that ours is special and unique. We often talk about how lucky we feel to have found one and other.

I haven't felt this comfortable with someone in a really long time. We have sleepovers up to five nights a week, and often spend the next day together. Sometimes we even sit in coffee shops and have "writing dates." This has been the most rewarding relationship I've ever been in.

The problem? And the problem that I've had in other relationships? When the bedroom door is closed and it's just him and me, he lets down his guard. We'll talk for hours about any topic that may come up. Endless conversations about the world, our thoughts, dreams, ambitions, sex, past relationships, friends, work, family, politics, money ... you name it. We play games, joke, and laugh a lot. He lets me in, in the way that I need to be let in to feel comfortable and desired.

But sometimes when we spend the days together we hardly talk about anything. I try to start conversations but his answers are short, he seems distant, and a little closed. He is by no means rude, but his mind seems to be elsewhere. Sometimes it eventually turns into a silence that makes me really uncomfortable, and to have someone be SO open one minute and so closed the next is confusing to me. I have had two other relationships where this has happened and in the end was part of why we broke up.

As a writer I like to talk and share. When a man puts a wall up I tend to panic and question his feelings for me. I grew up around lots of lies and a bad divorce, which might be the problem. But what's this about, Mere? Why do the men I date seem so comfortable with me behind closed doors, but become closed when we are out and about? I don't question how he feels about me; we are together all the time and I know he wouldn't be around so much if he wasn't into this. Someone once told me that if you are able to be silent with someone it means you are truly comfortable with them. But to me silence feels like there is something not being said. A few of my friends have also suggested that artists have a number of layers that are sometimes hard to understand. What do you think? Is there a way I can bring my concern up to him without looking like a manic girl? Is there a way I can feel more comfortable in the silence?

– Uncomfortable Wall Of Silence, NY