We all know that the stress we may experience can be caused by anything that requires us to adapt to change. Stress sends signals to warn us that we need to prepare for a threat. Stress can work as an indicator when we need to adapt to the unexpected and change. Individuals who move abroad and expect everything to be the same as it was back home will be in for a big surprise. Turkey has changed over the years and appears an easy place to live because some things seem to be like “back home.” Individuals who come expecting this run a higher risk of experiencing negative stress in their lives, if they do not respond well and handle situations properly.
Newcomers should not be discouraged if they initially experience more stress than usual. It is common for expats to experience culture shock or expat flu when you first move abroad. If you have not heard the expression expat flu, let me just explain that it is a physical manifestation of the stresses. It is related to negative feelings and worries that all expatriates have at one time or another. So remember, moving anywhere can be stressful and can result in physical symptoms or illness. Usually few of us are thoroughly prepared beforehand to avoid all we will face.
Most Westerners in Turkey who have been raised not to push but to wait your turn find one common Turkish behavior in particular difficult, which is when a person pushes in front at the bank, post office, utility office, bus and airline ticket office, etc. Expatriates have commented on how they find it discourteous when a person sees you coming towards a door with your hands full and does not hold the door open for you. Yes, these are just small things but it's the small things that can create added stress. Perhaps you are a Turk living in another culture. I wonder what it is that triggers stress in you.
A few other stressful cultural situations are:
-- When people drive aggressively and cut in front rather than waiting their turn. Some drivers even jump the queue in parking lots!
-- As children, many of us were taught not to stare. Westerners generally dislike being stared at.
-- Being told by a repairman that he will come at a certain time and you make it a point to be home and find yourself waiting. Finally you have to call to see why he is so late.
-- Promised that something can be mended and when you go to pick it up you learn that it is still broken. The person did not have the heart to call and tell you because they did not want to disappoint you.
When you're still settling into a new culture, a new country, a new job and a new environment, you can find that minor situations like these can cause extra stress. The secret to minimizing your stress as an expat is to learn that the local culture as encountered in day-to-day behavior is what you must learn to live with and it will not change overnight just because you wish it to!
Clinical psychologist Dr. Evan Parks operates the Budapest Care Center. Helping many expatriates to understand and overcome personal problems like depression, anxiety and burnout, Parks suggests individuals need to do three things: Determine the stressors, determine the impact and determine your approach to manage stress. Dr. Parks adds there are some basic traits to determine if stress is having a positive or negative effect in your life. These are as follows:
Pessimistic Hopeful
Proud Humble
Suspicious Trusting
Competitive Serving and cooperative
Closed to experience Flexible
Self-confident Seeks input
Neglectful of friends Committed to long-term friendships
“Particular” (picky) Grateful
Fearful Courageous
Dr. Parks says: “It is all about managing your expectations about life, self, faith and circumstances. Stress definitely impacts on our relationships and emotions and bodies.” Don't be afraid of change. Learning to cope with stress is possible.
“Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” Mark Twain
