Daily Shouts

October 19, 2012

Important Last-Minute Debate Prep

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Smile. Look straight into the camera and smile widely. It’s not even necessary to talk while you’re smiling and, in fact, it’s probably better if you don’t. Talking gets in the way of smiling, so if you have a choice between smiling and talking, smile. Just unleash that old million-watter. The audience may get uneasy when you’ve been staring into the camera and smiling broadly and silently for five minutes or so, and the moderator will probably try to get you to say something. Don’t be bullied. People like a guy who smiles. They’ll come around. Hang in there.

Scribble things. Can’t stress this one too strongly. Scribbling things makes you look studious and thoughtful, as if the thoughts crowding your brain are coming so fast that there’s a danger that you’ll be overwhelmed by them. People like a guy who seems to have a crowded brain. (Side note: despite the above, this isn’t necessarily a good time to smile. Scribbling and smiling suggests you’re jotting down a fantastic joke you just thought of.)

Eat before the debate. This one is really important. You want to keep the blood sugar ticking along. People don’t like a guy who passes out in the middle of a point. And you don’t want to have to unwrap a hoagie and chow down at the lectern; it looks unpresidential. Also, that thing where you keep the hoagie obscured beneath the rim of the lectern and sort of swoop down and sneak a bite every half minute or so? It’s never as stealthy as you think. This is especially true if you’re also drinking a Slurpee through a long straw.

Get some rest the night before. Everybody gets sleepy, but nobody likes the idea that the guy with the nuclear launch codes is going to flatten Islamabad because he didn’t get his eight hours in. At the same time, you don’t want to appear too well-rested, because then it’s like you’re Dean Martin or something. Don’t get me wrong: people liked Dean Martin, they found him likable, but they didn’t want to see him chairing the National Security Council. This is admittedly a bit of a tightrope. Use your best judgment here.

Keep things a little vague. Good things to say when you’re pressed for specifics:

That’s very interesting.

I see your point, but then again, you never know.

Well, what are you gonna do?

Remember that you can always just smile into the camera for a few minutes, which will give you a chance to regroup.

Be folksy. People like folksy. Possible phrases you can use:

My stars.

You never miss your water ’til the well runs dry.

Stand up, Miss Scout, your father’s passin’.

But rusticity only gets you so far. Reagan was as folksy as they come, but he did the second Mondale debate in overalls and a big straw hat and it tested through the floor.

Make the lectern yours. This is a great old debater’s trick. You want to think of the lectern as your personal space. So after you make your entrance, take your time getting it set up just the way you like it. If you have notes, spread them out. Angle the light just so. Another possible idea: one of those desktop toys with the clacky steel balls. Family photos are a nice touch (people like a guy who likes his family). Again, the moderator may try to get you to hurry things along. But you take your time. The moderator and your opponent and the audience will wait, and they’re going to have to wait with the camera on you. Make the most of it.

Play to the band. If things start to really feel like they’re getting away from you, look out to the cameramen and say in an offhand way, “I guess I sharped where I should have flatted, Tony.” Then chuckle amiably. Also good: Grab the boom mic, pull it close, tap it, and say, “Is this thing on?”

Finally, relax. This is easy. Just remember to breathe, smile, eat right, get some rest, and tap the boom mic. Also, if there’s any time left, throw a little substance in there. People like substance. Up to a point.

Illustration by Tom Bachtell.

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