This week 105,527 visitors visited 319,883 times viewing 529,621 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

• WATCH: Godfrey Bloom Hits Michael Crick on Head
• WATCH: BBC Presenter Mistakes Paper For iPad
• A Sign From God-frey
• Big Brother is Watching Browne 
• Minister Found on Google Street View
• UKIP Conference: It’ll Be All White on the Night
• Cameron Caught on Camera in Sister-in-Law’s Bed

As Farage announces he will be urging UKIP to suspend the whip from Godfrey Bloom, the truck driving past said it all…

After Mandrake’s Tim Walker suggested Stephen Fry doesn’t write his own tweets, TV’s favourite moaner lost the plot:

“Some weasel of a Telegraph journo wants me to give up Twitter. It’s hardly surprising I annoy some people. I annoy myself. But new depths were plunged today by some shiny faced, arse-witted creep called Tim Walker who published a nasty little piece in the Telegraph today implying that I don’t write or compose my own tweets. As you will probably know, I don’t read newspapers, but a friend sent me the link without thinking, so I couldn’t but read it.

@ThatTimWalker, this sneering and disgusting insult even to the reeking heap of disgraced ordure that is the British press, was told all this very clearly and patiently by my distressed PA who, knowing the British print media, was all too aware that this noxious boll-weevil would go ahead and print insinuating drivel whatever she said. Indeed, apprised of the truth, he still managed to extrude a semi-literate gossipy turd about seeing me at a meeting with Andy Serkis and witnessing me taking out my phone and tweeting.”

Touch a nerve?

Godfrey Bloom’s UKIP women fringe was always going to eventful. Kicking off by declaring “this place is full of sluts”, when picked up on the comment by a hack told him “you’re a sad little man”. Bloom then got Crick’d, who asked why there were only white faces on this year’s conference programme.

Ukip MEP Godfrey Bloom hits me over head with brochure + accuses me of being "racist" for asking why no black faces on cover. C4News tonight—
Michael Crick (@MichaelLCrick) September 20, 2013

24 interviews in 24 hours and Farage still isn’t the main story…

UPDATE: Farage responds: “hitting Michael Crick over the head? Tempting.”

The winner receives a copy of Rob Hutton’s must-read dictionary of journalese:

“Romps, Tots and Boffins: The Strange Language of News”

Make them witty…

Pic via Stefan Rousseau.

Tessa Jowell lands Ed in it:

“I’m sure he [Miliband] knew that this was going on. He was actually away a lot of the time. One of the most important things that Ed Miliband has done is to outlaw this kind of briefing in his shadow cabinet. I have to say someone with the awful, evil influence of people like Damian McBride would be nobody were it not for the position he managed to get in the Labour party,”

It’s going to be the question that follows him around conference…

Farage is now dripping like a tap under the lights. Looks like he needs a drink…—
Tim Shipman (Mail) (@ShippersUnbound) September 20, 2013

Tony blair taken apart for looking sweaty. @Nigel_Farage prob thinks wearing makeup would be greater blow to "man of people" credentials.—
Joey Jones (@joeyjonessky) September 20, 2013

farage definitely having a nixon sweaty moment on the tele in his conf speech.—
Robin Brant (@robindbrant) September 20, 2013

Sweat pouring off Farage. He'll need a lunchtime pint. Or five—
Kevin Maguire (@Kevin_Maguire) September 20, 2013

Farage may melt if he doesn't wind things up soon – he is running with sweat—
Jason Groves (@JasonGroves1) September 20, 2013

Nigel Farage's sweat-drenched face is now dazzling so brightly I can barely see it—
Michael Deacon (@MichaelPDeacon) September 20, 2013

Not his best speech then.

Via @wallaceme

SamCam’s sister Alice has now deleted the offending photo of Dave, barefoot, asleep next to his red box. Presumably the PM won’t be rushing to open an Instagram account…

Damian McBride’s book has its first previews in the papers this morning. The Blairite response has been for Benjamin Wegg-Prosser, former Blair aide and now managing director at Mandy’s consultancy firm Global Counsel, to leak a load of internal Downing Street emails to the Guardian. The highlight of which reveals Wegg-Prosser’s nickname for McBride:

“No 10 has been told by HMT that they are denouncing Henderson. Damian McPrickface denying [Doug] Henderson briefing – we have got them on the run. McPrickface will be going spare.”

“McPrickface”‘s book itself will confess to how he took out the Prime Mentalist’s rivals one by one. Starting with John Reid:

“I decided to unearth from my black book some of the stories I’d gathered over the years about Mr Reid’s escapades from the ’80s and early ’90s… drinking, fighting and carousing”

Charles Clarke:

“For several weeks in succession in 2005 when Charles Clarke was Home Secretary and a declared opponent of Gordon’s succession to the premiership, I orchestrated what looked like a briefing war between Charles and Tony Blair’s anti-social behaviour guru, Louise Casey.”

Ivan Lewis:

“the News Of The World duly splashed a story – quite obviously from me – about his supposed pestering of a young civil servant who used to work in his private office.”

Wee Dougie Alexander:

“How we going to play this? I presume we’ll just blame wee Dougie again? We’ll f*** over wee Dougie”

McPoison is finally admitting what we knew all along, for cash. Polly Toynbee has just been on the Today programme admitting that she knew what was happening as well. So why did she never say anything? McBride talks of an “unspoken agreement” that he could do what he did, that Brown would not “question my methods”. Miliband and Balls were his closest other advisers. What did they know about what was going on?  Roll on conference…