When it comes to youth beauty pageants, France 'ne comprend pas'

I competed in my first pageant at 15. France's plan to ban child pageants won't address the real issues of overly sexualised girls

- Delesia Watson
- theguardian.com, Thursday 19 September 2013 12.49 EDT
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Nina Davuluri, Miss America 2014, said: 'I'm thankful there are children watching at home who can finally relate to a new Miss America.' Photograph: Michael Loccisano/Getty Images

We live in a world where Honey Boo Boo is a household name and some women base their self-esteem off how many "Likes" they receive on a given Instagram or Facebook post. Now the newly crowned Miss America – who, although of Indian descent, was born and raised in America – is being criticized for not being "American enough". To combat these and other issues facing women, and to move toward gender equality, France is planning to ban children's beauty pageants by restricting girls younger than 16 from competing. They make a valid point.

The argument in France is that pageants sexualize young girls and give them the wrong impression about what really matters. Former sports minister Chantal Jouanno openly expressed her concern about "the sexualisation of their expressions, postures or clothes that are too precocious" in a parliamentary report this March. She is right: this is an issue that needs addressing, but it's also a generalization that assumes all contestants under 16 behave in this way.

My perspective comes from my own experience in pageantry. At 15, I entered my first pageant. I signed up just for fun. I had become a bit of a shy child and wanted to branch out. I wanted to meet other young women who I thought would be nice and fun and interested in impacting the world around them. I wasn't disappointed. Believe it or not, it was pageants that helped teach me what matters and what doesn't. How? Because simply being beautiful does not guarantee a contestant will win or even be a semifinalist in a pageant. Sure, physical attractiveness is weighed heavily, but in the end, it's about more than that.

Take, for instance, the interview portion of the competition. A pretty face can only get so far with a panel of judges possessing the liberty to ask any and everything. It is therefore important to be self-aware and secure, knowledgeable of the world around you, firm in your convictions, and yet diplomatic and lighthearted. Maintaining such composure in a setting, a setting where value is placed on what a woman thinks, feels and knows, as opposed to her subjective beauty, is incredibly empowering. As young as 15, I felt I was ready to take on the world because of this. Imagine if I had started just a little younger.

It doesn't stop there in that interview room. It lends itself to other areas of a woman's life where those same skills can be applied. Pageants are a means to an end, not the end itself. Through pageantry, a woman can gain exposure to culture, new insights, career opportunities, lifelong friends and much more. There are certainly other paths that lead to such exposure, but pageantry is one avenue.

Quite simply, pageants exist to empower women and celebrate their beauty. It's a way of rewarding young women for their accomplishments and thus encouraging others to strive for excellence as well. A woman's beauty isn't something she should be ashamed of, but it shouldn't be exploited, either.

I understand the concerns French officials have pointed out. However, banning pageants among those younger than 16 isn't the solution. The solution is treating the underlying problem, which is a generation that is currently building a life centered more on looks and material possessions than character and hard work. We need to teach children what truly matters – not just what goes into a good Facebook or Instagram photo.

If we're going to train a generation of leaders – leaders not taken with material objects and possessing pseudo-confidence – if we want our sons and daughters to value what matters, we must become teachers again. It takes a collective effort, with parents and community members and, in some cases, government working together to instill those values in them. We need better parents, more mentors and role models, and more programs centered on aiding youth in developing the tools they need to become successful.

Ultimately, banning child beauty pageants without these actions does nothing to accomplish this. Pageantry isn't for everyone just as certain sports and musical instruments aren't going to appeal to all. Competing should be a conscious decision made by a young woman mature enough to make it. There's no real age for maturity, and that's what makes such a ban ineffective.

Someday, I'll try my hardest to raise a daughter who will understand that being clever and kind and funny are far more important than being pretty. Should she decide to compete in a beauty or scholarship pageant, I would be proud. I'll let her make that decision for herself.