The Borowitz Report

October 18, 2013

Cruz Plans to Read Affordable Care Act

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WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Now that the government shutdown is over, Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) plans to read the Affordable Care Act, he told reporters today.

“It’s definitely been on my must-read list for a while now,” Sen. Cruz said of the law often referred to as Obamacare. “Things have just been so hectic around here lately, I couldn’t get to it.”

The Texas Senator said that he started reading the law this morning and observed, “So far, it’s pretty dry.”

“It’s not a page-turner, that’s for sure,” he said. “But it’s caused so much controversy, it must have some pretty juicy stuff in it. I’ll keep reading it and see what I find.”

Sen. Cruz said that when he finishes reading the Affordable Care Act, he plans to read the United States Constitution.

“People kept bringing it up the last few weeks,” he said. “So I’m kind of curious to see what all the fuss is about.”

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Photograph by Andrew Harrer/Bloomberg via Getty.

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