Tweets

  1. 15h

    And Merry Christmas to you too.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  2. 15h

    I just walked past a man wearing a Nike tshirt that said: 'ruthless warlord.' I think he's actually a compliant IT guy.

    Expand Collapse
  3. 16h

    Here's something I've always wanted to say to someone: 'I may be out of my face. But you are out of your mind'. Yes, you, oh humanitarian.

    Expand Collapse
  4. 16h

    “: 2013 was awful. But merry Christmas! Let's be Protestant and work to make 2014 negligibly better” HEAR HEAR. Mr. D'israeli...

    View conversation Hide conversation
  5. 17h

    So let me tell you about love. It'll get you. You'll never get it.

    Expand Collapse
  6. 17h

    Did anyone learn a very important lesson about love today after some zany hijinks involving Christmas lights and a drunk relative?

    Retweeted by
    Expand Collapse
  7. 17h

    And a merry Christmas to you. From slightly warmer.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  8. 25 Dec

    Spare a thought for the bigamists today, they are tying themselves up in knots today....

    Retweeted by
    Expand Collapse
  9. 24 Dec

    Merry Xmas to you, Ingo. Wherever you are celebrating.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  10. 24 Dec

    These are some of my audition photos for This Is The Middle.

    5:45 PM - 24 Dec 13 · Details
    Expand Collapse
  11. 24 Dec

    This Is The Word.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  12. 24 Dec

    The one I'm in two minds about is This Is The Middle. Not sure the director had a clear vision there.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  13. 24 Dec

    This Is The Beginning is, however, quite brilliant.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  14. 24 Dec

    Remembering all those who are alone this Xmas and hope that someone at least contacts them through their gadgets.

    View summary Hide summary
  15. 24 Dec

    The pardoning of Alan Turning. Posturing. Post-Turing.

    View summary Hide summary
  16. 24 Dec

    yam roight there, Ducks.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  17. 24 Dec

    Steve, best Xmas wishes to all in perry Barr. I will likely never go back there (dad now in a home) but what a place.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  18. 24 Dec

    Please forgive me, but button-down shirts tucked into shorts adversely affects my ability to digest.

    Expand Collapse
  19. 23 Dec

    with his ignorance.

    View conversation Hide conversation
  20. 23 Dec

    Sitting at a bar where a depressingly loud New Yorker is telling another man: 'I'm feeling your wife.' He is giving unsolicited life advice.

    Expand Collapse

@ChrisMatyszczyk hasn't tweeted yet.

Loading seems to be taking a while.

Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.