How to Keep a Secret

Go to town in your journal, or in a Word doc on your private computer. If you write about your emotions as well (whether you feel stressed/anxious/excited about your secret), you'll feel better. It also lowers the chances you'll tell a friend since you've already "spilled" to your diary.

It's hard, but avoid the urge to hint around that you have a secret—it's tough to stop talking once you start.

Write down all of the reasons why it's better for your secret to stay private. Maybe you don't want someone else influencing your decision, or just aren't ready to share the news yet. Whatever it is, keep it on your computer or some other place where no one will see it and glance at it a few times a week as a reminder when you're tempted to share.

If your friends start talking about a topic related to your secret (meeting new guys, searching for a new gig, how to get a promotion, etc.), gently change the subject. The less you think about it, the better.

If you feel like you really, really need advice, consider writing anonymously on a message board that centers around the same topic as your secret. This is a great way to get input from people who don't have skewed idea of what you should and shouldn't do with your life. Just don't use too many details that will give your identity away.

It's crazy-hard (and unhealthy) to keep a secret forever, so give yourself a time when you're going to share. If it's telling your friends about a new guy, maybe give it a month. It will be easier to keep the news to yourself when you know you have a deadline.

Since you know you'll tell people eventually, plan out how you'll do it once you're ready. For example, if you're hoping to leave a crappy job, fantasize about the way you'll give your noticeit'll keep you motivated until the big moment comes.

SOURCES: Psychologist Jean Twenge, PhD, author of The Impatient Woman's Guide to Getting Pregnant; Shawn Smith, PsyD