It's past six o'clock in the evening on March 14, National Potato Chip Day, and I've yet to acknowledge the holiday here on the world wide web. I have no excuse, except that when you go through life as I do—usually consuming a bag meant for a small family on a daily basis—do you really need an Internet Holiday to tell you it's time to Live That Life?
Internet holidays exist because... well, I actually have no fucking idea who decided we needed them and what the hell they're for. But in this case, I will yield to the marketing grifter who said today'd be about chips—not because I believe in it, but because dammit, I believe in chip.
What's a potatophile like me to do on the national holiday dedicated to his addiction? I'll opt to pay it forward. Though Drunk on Chips has been on hiatus, I haven't stopped consuming ungodly amounts of chips over the past few weeks months. Here are some standouts.
Zapp's Voodoo Heat
Every time I bring up my self-appointed chipfluence to civilians in the physical world, they ask me about Zapp's Voodoo chips. Yes, I've had them. Yes! They're great! No, they're not the best ever omg. But it's not often someone brings up their spicy cousin. Zapp's Voodoo Heat are a near-perfect chip, if it weren't for their aggressively seasoned ability to tear your mouth apart. I came home to my roommate snacking on a small bag recently. He left me the last few. Hell of a guy.
Kettle Wasabi Ranch
I don't love wasabi, but I love these wasabi ranch chips. I've never successfully added the right amount of wasabi to my sushi—it either overpowers or it's not enough. But Kettle has achieved nirvana with their newest flavor. Maybe it's the ranch, or maybe it's science, but it's too damn easy to crush these by the bag. All the wasabi flavor without the belly burn? Sign me up.
LAYS Lay's Flamin' Hot Dill Pickle Remix
Lay's Flamin' Hot Dill Pickle
I have always thought pickle chips were a gimmick I'd avoid. But put that trademarked Flamin' Hot logo on just about anything and I'm gonna try it. Lay's did it here with their Turn Up the Flavor program, adding it to their probably-popular dill pickle flavor, and I can't comprehensively swear off pickle chips anymore. If you want to go next-level I suggest you put these on a fried chicken sandwich with some mayo.
Herr's Salt & Vinegar
They're my favorite chips of all time, so I have to mention them on this, National Potato Chip Day. They're intense and will shred your mouth to smithereens if you go too hard, but it's the best kind of pain. Perhaps the most masochistic exercise in chip consumption out there, but even through the pain you'll know you're treating yourself.
Cape Cod Waves
Cape Cod makes what are probably my favorite kettle cooked potato chips in the game. They've achieved the perfect crunch up there on the cape, and although their chips are a bit small, what they lack in size they make up for in their ability to addict you. They took things into overdrive recently when they announced Cape Cod Waves—a bigger, crunchier, more rigid spin on their classics. These waves are sturdy—so sturdy you can dip and scoop them in just about everything.
