For almost five years, since the first airing of the reality show that propelled Jessica Simpson (and ex-husband Nick Lachey) to the heights of stardom, watching Simpson has been nothing but breezy fun.
Sweetly superficial, goofily endearing, utterly compelling, the former teen pop star played her part on Newlyweds to the hilt, becoming the ultimate example of a Hollywood superstar's charmed life. And indeed, the last time I interviewed her—almost a year ago exactly, at the height of the breakup rumors surrounding her relationship with Lachey—she seemed excited, chatty and so perfectly put together you'd never guess there was trouble in paradise.
But today, hanging out on a private terrace at New York's SoHo Grand Hotel, Simpson, 26, doesn't seem to be running on her usual supply of helium. In fact, she seems more contemplative than you'd ever imagine she could be. (When a ladybug lands on her arm, she says, almost wistfully, "That means good luck.") Her career is rolling on, certainly—she costarred in 2005's The Dukes of Hazzard; has a new album, A Public Affair, on shelves; and played a lead role in the just-released comedy Employee of the Month—and her sense of humor remains intact. (When the subject of plastic surgery comes up, she jokes, "I've wanted a boob reduction!") But the ditz is nowhere to be found. Read on for the real deal from Simpson about loneliness, the "emotional roller-coaster" ride of the past year and what she really wants in a man now.
GLAMOUR: Your divorce became final in June. What's the hardest thing about being single?
JESSICA SIMPSON: There are moments when I would love to fall asleep with my head on somebody's shoulder, just because I was so used to that for so long. I miss that. That's why I got Daisy [her dog, a maltipoo mix]. She falls asleep on my shoulder.
GLAMOUR: What has the last year been like for you?
JS: It's been chaos, but a blessing. I just celebrated my birthday and it's amazing to think of how much I went through as a 25-year-old girl. But I've stepped into a place of a lot of strength. I spent the Fourth of July right here, alone on the rooftop next to this one. I lay on the ground and was taking pictures of the sky. I was celebrating my independence as well.
GLAMOUR: With all you have going on in your life, it seems unlikely you have much time to be alone, though.
JS: You know, I used to be the kind of person who needed to have a lot of people around. That's where I found my serenity. I needed to have everyone around so I could have my hands and my mind in different places because that's what would calm me down. But right now, I just want to be by myself. It's a good but scary place to be.
GLAMOUR: So can you even go on a date with someone?
JS: Not unless I'm in complete disguise! I'd have to have a very dedicated date. [Laughs.]
GLAMOUR: How do you deal with the fact that the one thing so many people want to know all about—your divorce from Nick—is undoubtedly pretty painful for you to talk about?
JS: It's not something I want to talk about [in the media]. People might not understand why, but it's a sacred thing to me. I talk to my friends, family, God.
GLAMOUR: But your ex gave a long interview to Rolling Stone where he talked in detail about what happened at the end of your relationship. Did you read the story?
JS: No, people kept that away from me.
GLAMOUR: He talked quite openly about how he cries all the time. A lot of people felt like he came across as this sympathetic, good guy who tried to make it work.
JS: He is a good guy. And neither of us wanted to let anyone down, including ourselves. I don't have anything bad to say about him at all. I don't. And I do have something to lose by talking about it.
GLAMOUR: What's that?
JS: Integrity.
GLAMOUR: Would you ever allow a relationship to be so public again?
JS: No. I would never invite cameras into my life again.
GLAMOUR: Would you look for something different in a relationship now?
JS: I haven't thought about it. I'm trying to create a relationship with myself. I feel good being married to myself right now!
GLAMOUR: What about the future? What do you imagine your perfect man would be like?
JS: There is no perfect man! I think I'm meant to have many soulmates.
GLAMOUR: Why do you say that?
JS: Because I'm a good lover.
GLAMOUR: Oh, really!
JS: I don't mean that sexually! [Laughs.] I surround myself with love and look forward to being in love.
GLAMOUR: Someone you work with tells me you were pretty stoked the other night because a club was playing your new song, A Public Affair.
JS: Music heals me! We were out celebrating the fact that the album was done. It was so cool to hear my song. A Jessica Simpson song is never played in a club; it's played in drugstores and on the radio. So it was great to watch people dance around, completely enjoy themselves and get lost in the moment. Nobody was looking at me or anything. They were enjoying the music. That's what I need from everybody right now—enjoy life with me.
GLAMOUR: What about the rumor mill? Does it drive you crazy that every time you're photographed with a guy, the assumption is you're hooking up?
JS: No, I'm used to it. It can be Willie Nelson, for crying out loud—if I'm standing next to him, somehow I'm marrying him next week. Luckily, I'm in a business where people understand it. Everyone goes through the same thing. I mean, on Employee of the Month I was linked to every single guy in the damn movie—from the producer, to the director, to Dane [Cook] and other actors. It was so funny.
GLAMOUR: Speaking of Employee of the Month, what was the experience of shooting that film like?
JS: I was going through a really emotional time when I shot Employee of the Month, so it was good to have all those stand-up comedians around. If they looked over and could tell I was feeling a little sad, they'd come over and shoot out a joke. I wouldn't always get it, but it was still funny.
GLAMOUR: Some tabloids have speculated that you plumped up your lips with collagen. True?
JS: I had that Restylane stuff. But it fades—it went away in like four months. My lips are back to what they were. Thank God! It looked fake to me. I didn't like that.
GLAMOUR: What about other cosmetic surgery?
JS: The only thing I've ever wanted is a boob reduction! I have to wear two sport bras when I jog. I create a "uniboob." [Laughs.]
GLAMOUR: So what's next for you?
JS: There's one project I love: It's not a remake, but a take on Working Girl. It'll probably be shot in New York City. I want to be the lead, and I think I'm ready to do that. My dad read the script and said it's really great. I trust him.
GLAMOUR: And what do you think is the most dramatic difference in your life today, compared with a year ago?
JS: Thinking for myself. I never want to hurt anyone's feelings, so I used to let people walk all over me. But now, especially in my career, I'm definitely more confident in my ideas. Even though I have so many things to figure out, I'm very much at peace. I don't feel like I'm closing the chapter on this phase of life—I feel like I'm closing the book and starting a new one.
Degen Pener is a writer in Los Angeles.
