Queen of the self-care scene, model Iskra Lawrence is the millennial poster girl for positivity. As the six million followers across her digital platforms will attest, she lives and breathes self-care advocacy; as a role model for body positivity clothing company Aerie, ambassador for L’Oreal’s Princes Trust and The National Eating Disorders Association, plus host of her new makeover series The Mirror Challenge.
The show, based on the method Lawrence uses to confront her own insecurities head-on, is just one of the ways she inspires her fans to become more self-aware and, in turn, “the best they can be”. Below, Lawrence explains the concept to Bazaar, and suggests more ways in which we can incorporate self-care into our worlds.
Try The Mirror Challenge
The Mirror Challenge is something I have used to help me with my own body image, body dysmorphia and eating disorders. Instead of looking at myself in the mirror and seeing insecurities and letting that be the focus on how I define myself or let it dictate my day, I decided to challenge myself to find things I love and things I could cherish and appreciate about myself.
Remind yourself that perfection doesn’t exist
I looked at my body and I wanted it to be ‘perfect’ and I compared myself to all different people. So I had to say, right, when I look at myself that’s not what I’m going to do. I know I deserve better. I am bullying myself and I am making my life more difficult and negative. I challenged myself to find loving words to describe myself and ways to appreciate the different parts of my body that maybe I didn’t like and wanted to change but actually I am grateful for.
Know that you don’t need ‘fixing’
I decided to get The Mirror Challenge out there to help combat the damage that a lot of makeover shows can do, where they put people down and say they are going to ‘fix’ you. People don’t need fixing. There is nothing wrong with them to begin with and you are just changing their outward appearance and making it a superficial change, but [self-care] can actually help people heal and help them fall in love with who they are.
Embrace the little joys in life
In this day and age where we’re meant to be working so hard and then also wanting to outwardly look like we are giving to others and doing so much, people think it’s selfish to spend time on yourself. Yet you can’t give to someone else unless you’re whole. You can’t fall in love with someone else unless you fall in love with yourself first. Externally we look happy and like we are doing well and are super busy and our career is taking off – but actually, are you ok? Ask yourself how you feel when you are alone; do you feel lonely, have you done something for you today that makes you feel happy? It can be something super simple like reading your book for 30 minutes or meditating or walking – even patting a dog. It sounds silly but it’s the little joys in life that are generally for free are the things we forget to do because we are so busy with the materialism, the career or the outward appearance on social media.
Learn to say ‘no’
I’ve learnt to say ‘no’ and that no is not a selfish thing. To be able to say no to your friends and say, ‘I wanted to come out with you for dinner, but actually I just want to be at home tonight and be in bed for 10pm’ – and that’s ok and that’s not selfish. You can feel bad about letting other people down but there is a way to do it where you aren’t, and people who love you and care about you will understand [that].
Make your health and happiness a priority
I incorporate self-care into my lifestyle by stepping away from things and knowing that my health and happiness is a priority. [For example,] thinking I am going to make sure I go to the gym today because I know that’s going to give me energy if I feel lethargic. Decisions [like that] prioritise you and your wellness. That’s how I keep self-aware of how I am feeling; I listen to my body and mind and try to figure out what it needs. You almost need to have a little emergency SOS pack of things that you know will make you feel better, like if you take yourself out of a certain situation, or know if you need to be off your phone for the next 24 hours – little self-care go-tos that you can whip out when you’re feeling anxious, stressed, fatigued or angry.
Nourish your body with rest and food
To feel healthy, energised and focused is a lot to do with how you are nourishing yourself. I used to be strict and calorie count and abuse my body with exercise purely for the desire to be slimmer, but now my focus has shifted and I am the weight that I should be in my body, and the way that I consume food – my energy – has become something so positive and it’s all about nourishment. That is, nourishing your body with rest and food that’s vibrant and colourful, but it’s also food that I do enjoy eating.
Remove the guilt from food and fitness
I don’t feel guilt around foods and I don’t feel guilt if I don’t work out. But I know that I will just feel great if I do eat that amazing home cooked meal with fresh veggies, that does make me feel good and it makes my body feel good – I can feel it inside me. The same with exercise. I have never ever regretted working out, so even if there are days where I say I don’t fancy it, then that’s ok, but also thinking about how good I’ll feel gets me excited for it.
Repeat: ‘I’m enough’
As a brand ambassador for the National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA), I would love for people to know that you can find harmony within your life when you listen to your mind and you listen to your body. The NEDA motto is ‘I’m enough’ and that concept is so important. It really is the core of everything that I believe and want to promote, as when you realise that you are enough as who you are right now it enables you to not question yourself or have self-doubt, and to be free from the binds of insecurity and questions of your worth. That then enables you to just be the best you can be and go into every scenario – whether it’s a relationship, work or feeling deserving to eat – that might be challenging for you. Have that motto in mind and have it as an affirmation. It might sound like a simple concept but it definitely isn’t as it takes time. Most people can say it [‘I’m enough’], but do they really believe it deep down? Working with NEDA, I am trying to enable people to know that they are enough just the way they are.
Celebrate your uniqueness
When looking in the mirror, I’d tell people to work out what makes them unique and how they can celebrate themselves for being them. Quite often people will look in the mirror and say what they feel they are expected to say about themselves, but when you do it for a while you start finding new interesting things. Like, ‘I actually like that mole on my stomach!’ Or you see new things about yourself – like you are always there for your friends or that you are the one who can organise events and make things happen and you should be proud of that. It’s little things that you shouldn’t think are silly to say about yourself and to celebrate. You find those things out as you grow and develop that journey of self-reflection.
Don’t place so much value on likes and followers
I have over six million across all of my platforms – yet I don’t feel any more validation from the likes and follows. I can remember clear as day when I had 70,000 because it was my birthday and I felt more validation back then, because I placed more value in my likes and I would get excited when my follower count would go up, but I don’t feel that now because I can’t let it dictate how I feel as real life is what’s more important. I do get worried when I hear stories of these young girls on social media, like a 14-year-old girl recently who blocked every one of her friends and everyone at her school because on her social media profile she heavily retouches her photos, so she would rather have her social media as this unrealistic illusion and everyone online would think that’s what she actually looks like but then hide that from the real world. For me that’s terrifying because she is placing more value in the social interactions she’s having with complete strangers than with her friends.
Use your beauty routine to make you feel good, not bad
I think for a while I was scared to say how much I love beauty and make-up and skincare and even treatments. I love trying out new beauty treatments, but I don’t see it as a vanity thing anymore – I include it in self-care. It is something that relaxes me and makes me feel great, so I am a big fan of beauty but I also love my no make-up days as well.
Make skincare a relaxing ritual
It can be a really relaxing ritual at night to treat your skin. Your skin is an organ, so looking after it is part of wellness and skin health. I have made my bedroom and bathroom super tranquil, with my favourite flowers and candles. I’ve made the lighting lower so it’s not as intrusive and I use the whole thing as something that’s relaxing and pampering. So if you enjoy that then it’s definitely self-care.
Embrace ageing, don’t fear it
I know that I’m educated enough to know there is nothing wrong with ageing, so if ‘anti-ageing’ is the description a brand uses on a label to explain what a product does, then I don’t get offended. But in an ideal world there would be no labels on anything and I wouldn’t be labelled by my size, but it is what it is and they are descriptives to help people understand and organise their routines. You have a brand like L’Oreal now using women who are of an age – like Helen Mirren and Jane Fonda who’s in her 80s – and clearly, they are beautifully aged older ladies and they still feel empowered and beautiful. So there is nothing we should feel embarrassed about or scared about when it comes to ageing. I know that I am going to age and that’s fine; I am beautiful in every phase of my life.
Iskra Lawrence is represented by Models 1
