Chris Daughtry opened up to Kelly Clarkson about the heartbreaking guilt he feels over the loss of his mother to cancer and his stepdaughter to suicide last year within a week of each other.
Daughtry told his fellow “American Idol” alum in a candid admission on Clarkson’s talk show Thursday that he “processed both losses very differently,” but found that “the common denominator in both is the guilt.”
Guilt over things like ”‘I wish I would have said this, I wish I would’ve done this, I wish I would’ve called more,’” the singer explained, adding that those “moments of the guilt” are “the hardest because you can’t do anything about it.”
“There’s always going to be reminders of what you could’ve done,” Daughtry said. “And I tend to beat myself up a lot over it.”
Daughtry and his wife Deanna Daughtry have twins Adalynn Rose and Noah James, and also two children from Deanna’s previous marriage: Griffin Price and Hannah Price, who died in November at age 25.
Deanna shared the news of Hannah’s death at the time in a heartbreaking message on Instagram, dedicated to her firstborn.
“I love you endlessly Hannah,” she wrote, alongside photos of her daughter. “Our family would like to thank you all for the outpouring of love as we grieve the loss of our daughter Hannah. ... Our hearts are broken.”
The couple later released a joint statement that said Hannah died by suicide and had struggled with mental health throughout her life.
“As Hannah got older, she struggled to find her footing and began using drugs and often found herself in abusive relationships,” the couple told People magazine in January.
“Just months after losing her biological father to suicide, Hannah was the victim of a crime and was shot in the face,” they added. “We did everything we could to support her and get her the help she needed to recover from these tragedies and get her life back on track. We had just recently made plans with Hannah for her to seek further treatment and move closer to the family.”
If you or someone you know needs help, call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. You can also text HOME to 741-741 for free, 24-hour support from the Crisis Text Line. Outside of the U.S., please visit the International Association for Suicide Prevention for a database of resources.