Satire from the Borowitz Report
Not the news.
Biden Torments Trump by Seeing His Ex
“It’s like Ben and J. Lo. But show a little class,” a Trump associate said. By Andy Borowitz 9:43 A.M.
Trump Explodes After Biden Asks Him to Dog-Sit During G-7
The President said he had “no idea” why Trump had reacted so negatively to the idea of dog-sitting Major, whose obedience training “has been going really well.” By Andy Borowitz June 10, 2021
Susan Collins Sad That Joe Manchin Has Replaced Her as Most Annoying Senator
“It’s only fitting that the baton be passed to an obscure senator from West Virginia,” she said. By Andy Borowitz June 9, 2021
Putin Says He Has No Intention of Reinstating Trump
“I think if I were planning to put Trump back in power, I would know about it,” the visibly annoyed Putin said. By Andy Borowitz June 7, 2021
Trump to Be Reinstated in August as President of Trump University
A supporter, Harland Dorrinson, said that skeptics who protest that Trump University ceased to exist in 2010 “don’t know what they’re talking about.” By Andy Borowitz June 2, 2021
Greg Abbott Tries to Lure Back Democratic Lawmakers by Offering NPR Tote Bags
Displaying one of the canvas bags on offer, Abbott said it was “perfect for carrying around all your liberal needs.” By Andy Borowitz June 1, 2021
As Grand Jury Convenes, Trump Changes Name of His Company to Eric Trump Organization
“Eric is responsible for everything it has ever done.” By Andy Borowitz May 26, 2021
Republicans Claim January 6th Rioters Were Middle Schoolers on Field Trip
“I’ve had teen-agers, and I know what kind of horseplay and tomfoolery they can get up to,” Senator Ron Johnson said. “I didn’t set up a commission every time they raised a little heck.” By Andy Borowitz May 24, 2021
Trump Orders Kevin McCarthy to Go to Prison in His Place
“I can think of no greater honor than going to prison for this wonderful man,” McCarthy said. By Andy Borowitz May 20, 2021
Kevin McCarthy Proposes Removing January 6th from Month of January
“The American people want us to move on,” the House Minority Leader said. By Andy Borowitz May 19, 2021 Sections News & Politics Culture Business, Science & Tech Humor Cartoons Books & Fiction Magazine Photography Video Podcasts More Newsletters About Careers Contact FAQ Media Kit Press Accessibility Help
© 2021 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of and/or registration on any portion of this site constitutes acceptance of our
(updated as of 1/1/21) and
(updated as of 1/1/21).
Your California Privacy Rights
. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast.
The New Yorker
may earn a portion of sales from products and services that are purchased through links on our site as part of our affiliate partnerships with retailers.
Ad Choices Our sites Allure Ars Technica Backchannel Bon Appétit Condé Nast Traveler Epicurious Glamour GQ GQ Style Pitchfork Self Style Teen Vogue The New Yorker The Scene Vanity Fair Vogue Wired