How to Write a New Yorker Cartoon Caption: “Queer Eye” Edition
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Cartoon Caption Contest | Season One | Episode 12
How to Write a New Yorker Cartoon Caption: “Queer Eye” Edition
About
Credits
“Queer Eye” cast members Karamo Brown, Antoni Porowski, and Bobby Berk try their hands at our cartoon-caption contest.
Released on 04/04/2019
Transcript
[bell ringing]
Hey, I'm Karamo.
Hey I'm Bobby Berk.
And we're entering
the New Yorker cartoon caption contest.
We're gonna fail.
No Karamo if anybody you should be building us up
that's what you do.
We're gonna do great.
Failure is not the opposite of success,
it's part of it.
You are funny,
you are beautiful.
Youse are smart.
Can we start.
♪ He's looking at that knight in the mirror. ♪
♪ Knight in the mirror. ♪
Or it's his one knight stand.
There we go see.
See.
Bobby's funny.
So there is a gentleman
that looks like Tan in 10 to 15 years.
See you're funny.
That's called shade.
No but he doesn't look like Tan.
He's looking at his one night stand in the mirror going,
that was a mistake.
I love it,
I think it's great.
Yeah.
It looks like an episode of Queer Eye.
Can we get Antoni over here?
This is,
we miscast this. No no no.
I knew we miscast this,
that is excellent.
Ah we're always rolling.
If this was,
if this was Karamo,
he would say something like,
something about like taking your armor down.
You know I actually think
this is a tailor from Bomon
and he's like Antoni we found your next Emmy look.
Nailed it.
That was a really weird fist bump situation
but it worked.
Yeah.
Never said I had good handwriting either.
Nice. The period goes
inside the quote
Antoni I believe we just found your next Emmy look.
Yeah.
[drum roll booming]
So we have a lady or a man.
What if it's man,
well I don't know. So we have
a person sitting
in a chair who is bewildered at best.
This is actually a historical depiction
of the barbershop
that Jonathan used to go to as a child.
And he was so rambunctious that he just popped
right out of the ceiling.
He's kind o like,
he looks a little angry because he's frowning.
Instead of like Dennis the Menace
instead of Dennis,
it's Johnny.
I told you not to go too high.
Wait what's the expression
about the higher the hair,
the closer to God?
Frank that's not what I meant by the higher the hair,
the closer to God?
I think that works,
I think that works I just got excited by it.
It's cute.
Okay. It's cute.
We can go with that.
My Dad would laugh at that.
I think my handwriting is getting better
for this one.
The higher the hair.
Frank when I said
the higher the hair
the closer to Jesus I did not mean it literally.
Ha now that's comedy.
[drum roll booming]
So we have like an old New York bar
with like the brass details.
Oh. Yeah, yeah.
Someone's been watching too much Queer Eye?
I can't put my finger on it
but there's something about Jonathan
that just feels really relatable.
Yeah um. That's cute.
Oh that's your caption?
Yeah. Oh.
'Cause he's speaking to her.
I can't quite put my finger on it.
I can't quite put my finger on it.
but there's just something about that Jonathan
Van Ness I find extremely relatable.
Yeah.
Do these actually go in the New Yorker when we're done?
Probably not.
[Man] No.
♪ Sorry I write so slowly ♪
Henny.
I can't quite put my finger on it Henny
but there's just something about
that Jonathan Van Ness that I find sups relatable.
And it's funny 'cause he's wearing
what are traditionally ladies shoes
but he doesn't even realize it.
Stupid.
[drum roll booming]
Tan Francis ideal definition of a boundary
in a marriage.
Oh but should we go Trumpian
with a wall.
You voted for him,
here's your wall.
Hunny I've spent the day watching Fox News
and I've got a brilliant idea.
Something like that.
It's cute.
All they talk about is the fucking wall
so they're like oh I'll just build
a wall in the house too.
Look at her she's wearing heels,
she's coming maybe from work.
She's got the groceries.
And then you have this idiotic toxic masculinity
going on here it's watching garbage television.
Hunny I discovered Fox News today.
Boom I think that's it,
it's succinct, it's tight it's not
a lot to write.
You write like someone I know.
You know me.
Yeah.
Hunny I discovered Fox News today
and I got so many good ideas.
[drum roll booming]
I don't know what it is about that Jonathan Van Ness
but there's something about him I just find so relatable.
Okay so we have a gentleman
who is also on the slide
and he's assumingly giving a Ted Talk
but it is also the 90s 'cause this is
the first Macintosh computer I ever used
with the turtle program.
Do you remember the turtle program.
Yep. Okay so we have
what I assume to be a Ted Talk going on.
And his name might be Ted,
we don't know and he's pointing
to himself and he's saying something.
What is he saying?
He is giving an example of a power pose
that you can do at work before giving a presentation.
Something about body positivity.
And frankly I've never looked better.
Just that dot dot dot
and frankly I've never looked better.
Perfect. Oh my gosh
and we're using Frank again.
Frankly my dear. Read it Bobbys.
Frankly I've never looked so good.
Or better.
Same.
And frankly I've never looked better.
[drum roll booming]
Um this isn't what I meant by role-playing but okay
let's proceed dot dot dot.
Yeah when I recommended role-playing
this isn't what I had in mind.
We have a couple
who is presumably at a marriage counselors office.
They've been having some little problems.
So he's giving advice
and he's speaking to a couple
and he's got a little comment to make.
Yeah, yeah. And we're gonna write it
down right now.
Is role play a compound word or is it two words?
It's role and play,
so you put a hyphen.
On certain porno websites and certain sections
that you can go to there is a role play section
and there is a hyphen
and I just remembered it.
The one time I ever looked at porn.
That one time you went to Tumblr
before they changed it.
Tah dah.
When I suggested role-play
this is not what I had in mind.
This wasn't what I had in mind,
Bobby look at the line before you read it.
When I suggested role-play
this wasn't what I had in mind.
Yeah. [drum roll booming]
This was fun.
Bobby how did you feel about captioning cartoons?
Ah I think this was fun
but we think we should keep it to professionals.
I felt really intimidated because I've been reading
these captions since I was a kid
'cause we've always had the New Yorker.
And a lot of them are very clever and witty.
And do I feel like we were successful?
In a lot of them probably not,
but some of them are cute.
At the end of the day it's
about how hard you tried.
Yeah.
And you tried. We did,
we committed.
Commitment that's got to stand
for something right, commit.
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