How to Write a New Yorker Cartoon Caption: Jon Hamm Edition
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Cartoon Caption Contest | Season One | Episode 9
How to Write a New Yorker Cartoon Caption: Jon Hamm Edition
About
Credits
The actor, who stars in the movie “Bad Times at the El Royale,” tries his hand at our cartoon-caption contest.
Released on 10/11/2018
Transcript
I'm Jon Hamm and I'm here to caption
some New Yorker cartoons.
The fun thing about New Yorker captions
is they don't have to make sense or even be funny.
They just have to kind of exist
in their own, weird world,
and it's really about the pictures, I find.
I don't even wanna see.
I know the captions just gonna be,
Harold, you son of a bitch.
See?
Kinda works.
This is a bunch of birds.
They look like parrots.
They are clearly sitting on a table
discussing something.
That's Harold and this guy's made at him.
Harold, you sonovabitch.
(drums clashing)
Ooh, okay, two things are happening here
at a very high rate of speed.
This is a planet.
I'm not gonna assume that's earth.
Not for me the judge.
These guys are skydiving
and they're going down 'cause these are down lines
and these guys are like, wow, they're dancers.
I think that these are a little more prepared
for what's about to happen,
which is, they're descending rapidly.
They have parachutes on.
These guys have danced their way
into a whole lot of trouble.
(lively piano music)
Modern dance is very dangerous.
(drum crashing)
Classic situation.
At the airport.
When is his flight taking off?
Here's the issue.
What's up with Wright Brothers guys?
And only two seats (laughs).
This gentleman is trying to explain to him
that the flight has been oversold.
So the guy is saying,
The good news
You've been upgraded.
The bad news?
It's 1912.
(drum crashing)
We have an empaneled group of
could be senators, could be judges.
This is looking very judge-y.
I'm seeing robes, so he was just asked a question
and I think he's responding.
He looks like he knows what's up.
He's just been asked by this other onlooker
what the score is and he's like,
The score?
Row 12, Wade 14.
It's Row versus Wade.
It's timely.
(lively piano music)
(drum crashing)
All right now, this is a classic New Yorker move.
Couple in bed.
Pillow talk, they used to call it.
Homeboy can't let it go.
Seems to be some sort of work or public speaking
situation and it doesn't seem like
his lady friend is so into that.
I just think she went really real with this guy
and she's just like, I fucking hate you.
Don't bring your podium into the marital bed.
(drum crashing)
Who among us
doesn't recognize this scenario?
Doc's giving him a look-see.
HR was like, Clark, you gotta get your
physical or you're not gonna qualify for the HMO.
You gotta do it.
And then he's like, I'm Superman,
I don't need this stuff.
I have a fortress of solitude.
It's made out of crystal and glass
and it's in the North Pole.
Anything bad happens, I can fly around the Earth
and spin it backwards and go back in time.
I don't care.
Also, I'm Superman, my heart's fine.
I think what he's probably saying, though,
'cause he doesn't seem concerned,
so it's clearly just a little check up.
She's just straight forward with him
and he's like, you know what, Clark,
your heart is super, man.
(drum crashing)
Okay so we're in a board room.
The window guys are kinda peeping in on this board meeting.
I think the boss is speaking
'cause he's sitting at the head of the table
and everybody seems to be paying attention to this guy
and the window washer saw it.
This is my go-to every time
'cause it almost always works for everything.
(light piano music)
Who farted?
(drum crashing)
These are harder than they seem!
(laughs)
I mean, I'm gonna guess we're in a tropical location
but it could be, I don't know,
this could be St. Louis, my home town.
I don't know, it's just a nice pool.
Bunch of pool goers, homeboy, girl in a bikini.
Guess what?
What's buffalo doing?
Cannonball.
Classic buffalo move.
It's never easy to end on a good one
so this is the caption is that
things got weird when they filled the pool with ranch
because he's a buffalo and he's dipping himself
in ranch.
(drum crashing)
I found it a lot harder than I thought it would be
so think about that next time you
make fun of
the erudite New Yorker cartoons.
A lot of work goes into it.
Be kind.
(light piano music)
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