How To Write A New Yorker Cartoon Caption: Zach Galifianakis & Zoe Saldana Edition
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Cartoon Caption Contest | Season One | Episode 13
How To Write A New Yorker Cartoon Caption: Zach Galifianakis & Zoe Saldana Edition
About
Credits
The “Missing Link” stars Zoe Saldana and Zach Galifianakis team up to tackle our cartoon-caption contest.
Released on 04/17/2019
Transcript
Hi, I'm Zoe Saldana.
I'm Zach Galifianakis.
And today we're gonna write captions
for The New Yorker cartoons.
[Zach] What is that, a sea creature?
It's an eel.
It's an anaconda.
[Zach] My anaconda don't want none
unless you got buns hun.
[laughing]
[Both] My anaconda don't.
My anaconda don't.
Want none unless you got buns--
Got some buns.
Buns hun.
Oh, I don't rap. It's Sir Mix-a-Lot.
I'm so sorry guys.
Can we skip this one?
Zoe what do you think?
It's a man or a mannequin, cut in three parts,
going to see his doctor.
And the doctor is writing a prescription.
You're half the man you used to be.
No.
That doesn't quite work.
But if it's a mannequin though,
because you make a good point.
If it's a mannequin that it would be--
You don't really see decapitation like that.
[Zoe] Nothing.
A lot of mannequins are bald,
that's where I think it might be a real person.
[Zoe] Okay.
I see a check up, and I see the doctor saying
everything came back negative, you're good to go.
[Zoe laughing]
That's what I see.
My penmanship is weak.
[Zoe] So.
You're free to go.
You're free to go.
[Zach] Do we win anything?
So the test came back negative, you're free to go.
[drums]
[Zoe laughs]
I should buy an alarm clock.
I don't know why this is tough.
This one is a, so you made the band?
It looks like its her daughter though.
[Zach] Oh that's his daughter?
[Zoe] Yeah I think so.
Oh right, yeah there's a teddy bear.
Oh I thought it was...
Dad, do you have six arms?
[Zoe laughing]
So is the air con broken?
'Cause he's like fanning, no?
Ah! Ah!
Yeah.
Or um, dad, this is weird.
[laughing]
Dad, this is weird.
This one says, Dad, this is weird.
[drums]
[Zoe] Whoa.
Okay that's my grandmother,
this is me before I shave in the morning.
[Zoe laughing]
I love that you watch TV with your grandmother
before you shave in the morning, that's super awesome.
They're probably watching an infomercial.
I don't think it's the morning,
I think it's in the middle of the night.
Is that grass or is that weeds growing out, or hay?
Is this hair?
[Zoe] I think so.
So maybe they're watching a hair growing
commercial for baldness.
And she's saying...
I'm trying to...
Yeah.
No no I like the Propecia thing, and it's um...
Is Propecia a hair thing?
I like there's that Propecia product
you asked me to get you.
[Zach] Or we could go the opposite way--
How'd it go?
How'd it go?
Yes! There we go.
We landed on it.
Right? Yeah, good.
How do you spell Propecia?
[blows raspberries]
I wouldn't know, trust me.
[Zoe laughs]
P-R-O.
[Female] P-E-C-I-A.
Yeah just like it's spelled.
[laughing]
Okay.
Oh look honey, there's that Propecia product
you asked me to get you.
Did it work?
[drums]
Ooh.
[Zach] Ready?
[Zoe] I have one. Yes.
I'm gonna show it to you Zoe, to see if you like it.
[Zoe] Okay.
Not bad, right?
It's amazing.
This one might actually win.
This one may win, for the week.
[Zoe] It's really good.
You laugh but I breezed by in the TSA line.
[drums]
[Zoe] First time auditioning for The Apprentice.
[blows raspberries]
Whatever happened to the host of that show?
[Zoe laughing]
[Zoe] We're seeing two guys having a drink post labor.
I did it on purpose, I said it on purpose.
Post labor. [laughing]
Post labor day.
Post having a child.
And one of them has a tail.
Wait.
Or does he?
Or does he?
What's if it's excuse me, did I just sit on a leopard?
[laughing]
Right?
Did I just sit on your pussycat?
[Zach] Mmm, you're gonna add cat, right?
[laughing]
And it doesn't have to be a leopard.
But 'cause the leopard has spots, so let's choose another.
[Zoe] Yeah.
What kinda tail does that look like?
Let's say jaguar.
Right?
Yeah.
Okay Zach, do you wanna do the honors?
Excuse me, did I happen to sit on a jaguar?
[drums]
Ooooh.
Oh my god, I can't believe this is the cartoon.
So James, King James.
James tells me you're...
Like if King James set up one of his knights
on a blind date.
[Zoe] Yeah.
Are you excited for the kings, Jane?
[laughing]
[Zach] Okay, do you think they have a straw?
[laughing]
Do you think they have a straw?
Yeah.
Do you think they have a straw?
I like that.
Do you think they have a straw?
[drums]
Crap, I feel like I let Zach down.
I'm gonna stop reading The New Yorker.
[laughing]
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