Searching for My Long-Lost Grandmother

[projector whirring] [music chiming]

[bird chirping]

[Wendy] Oh my goodness.

They have upgraded.

I came here for grade one, two, three, I think.

[Tiffany] Wow.

This is surreal.

Well mind you, so much has changed.

I'm trying to look for the very essence of it

that reminds me of what it was like.

So, you haven't been back here in like a million years.

43.

I was gone for 43 years.

Woo. [laughing]

[Tiffany Voiceover] I sometimes forget

that my mom was once a child too

with dreams of living in a castle

and eating nothing but ice cream and cake for dinner.

Growing up, I didn't understand

why my mom rarely hugged or kissed me as a kid

and why I love you was not in her vocabulary.

As I got older,

I realized that there was a reason

for why I felt like a piece of her was missing.

My mom was born in Taiwan on March 4th, 1960.

She has very little memory of her childhood.

She couldn't tell me what her favorite bedtime stories were

or if her parents ever sang her lullaby.

All she remembers is that when she was five years old,

she was suddenly separated from her family,

never to see them again,

and she never understood why.

[piano music] [Wendy humming]

You know what?

For one reason,

when I have a dinner,

number one, I hate people don't have enough food to eat.

Number two, yes,

I would always love to have more people to be here.

And yes indeed, I would love...

[Tiffany] You want to make sure

everybody's taken care of,

that's all.

Ask my mom. Finish that thought.

[Tiffany] Ronnie?

Yes, I'd love to have my family here.

[Tiffany] Oh god!

Look what alcohol and bad conversation does.

[Female Speaker] Jesus Christ.

[Male Speaker] I hope this isn't recording the volume.

[Female Speaker] Tiffany, just stop it.

I haven't seen my mother or my father

in over 30 something years.

Ronnie.

It's okay.

When you have problem,

you can come and talk to me.

When I have trouble,

I have no one really to talk to.

[Female Speaker] That's true.

Do you know how much I have to bottle up inside me?

Tiff, stop it.

[Tiffany Voiceover] When my mom first told me

that my grandmother Popo was not her biological mother,

I finally got a glimpse

of what might have been missing from her life.

My mom never asked Popo about her birth family.

She couldn't bear the guilt of possibly offending

the only person who raised her all these years,

but how could my mom live without knowing the truth

about such an important part of her past?

I knew I needed to do something.

[speaking in foreign language]

[Tiffany] If we are so lucky to find either your mom,

your dad, even your sister,

what would be your number one like question

that you'd like to know?

I guess answering some questions that I always had.

Like what?

Like why didn't they keep us, you know?

Why was I sent away?

So, mom? Yes?

[Tiffany] Okay, I know you don't think I'm gonna find them

and stuff like that

because you're being pessimistic--

No, no, no, no, no, it's not that.

You, first of all, Tiff,

you're gonna have, first of all,

the far most difficulty,

which is a language barrier.

[Tiffany] But I'm trying, no?

I'm gonna start by going to city hall.

Mm-hmm.

Do you think they really care?

[Tiffany] Look, I'm determined to find them.

[Tiffany Voiceover] Minding your own business is a habit

of traditional Chinese families

that was always so frustrating to me.

It was stifling to watch my mom hold back

on saying what was really on her mind

and keep silent for the sake of not causing trouble.

This made me promise myself that I would never be like that.

It's totally overwhelming.

Like, this is a place like where my mom grew up

and I am here.

The next generation of her is riding a bus

to go and seek her parents and try to make this work.

So in case I do meet her parents,

which that's my goal,

it starts with that.

This is her when she first came into Canada

where it started.

And then this us a little bit older,

all three kids.

[Tiffany Voiceover] My mom was not optimistic

about my search.

No one was.

This was the furthest I've ever been away from home

and all I had with me were two names on a napkin

that I couldn't read

and a pocket translator that didn't work,

but I was stubborn and determined to prove everyone wrong.

Mom, it's Tiff.

I'm trying to call you.

It's like 7:00 in the morning in Taiwan.

I just want to tell you everything is okay

and that the city is nuts here.

It's completely like, I don't know.

I'm learning how to speak Chinese though.

You'd be so proud.

[people chattering]

[speaking in foreign language]

Hi there.

I just have their names and I know they're from Taipei.

I love how everyone knows now, eh?

[speaking in foreign language]

[phone ringing]

You have been so lucky.

[speaking in foreign language]

Really? Yeah.

[speaking in foreign language]

I found your mom and your dad's address.

I know where they live exactly, I know.

And I got the exact same address.

No, I'm not in the hospital.

Mom, I'm trying to, I got your.

No, I got your mom and your dad's address

and I'm gonna go see them tomorrow.

Yeah.

[rain pattering] [pensive piano music]

I can see that we're slowly coming to her place.

I can't breathe.

Just breathe, just breathe, just breathe.

[speaking in foreign language]

[elevator dinging]

Okay, okay, all right.

How do I look?

Do I look good?

Button up a little bit, yeah.

Should I take my piercing out?

This shit freaks people out.

No, I can't.

My hands are too.

[speaking in foreign language]

[grandmother crying]

[speaking in foreign language]

This is my family.

[speaking in foreign language]

[singing in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

[singing in foreign language]

[speaking in foreign language]

My mother's never seen a picture of herself as a baby

in her whole entire life.

This is her.

Never seen a picture of her as a child.

Here's her family photo.

[speaking in foreign language]

[Tiffany Voiceover] The moment

I found my mom's birth mother,

there was an instant familiarity.

Suddenly, I was no longer in a foreign place.

I'd found another home with this woman I just met.

One afternoon,

she tells me that it has been difficult

for her to sleep since meeting me

because she keeps thinking about the past.

I couldn't help but feel

like I had just opened up a Pandora's box.

[pensive orchestral music]

[people chattering]

[Tiffany] So mom, you're back in Taipei.

How does it feel?

Surreal.

I can't believe it.

[speaking in foreign language]

Oh my god, that's my sister.

Did you know that?

[Tiffany] Yes.

Ru-Yuen?

[speaking in foreign language]

Mom.

[sobbing] [faint chattering]

[speaking in foreign language]

[Tiffany] How is it seeing your mom for the first time?

I don't know.

Actually, it was funny when I finally held her,

like she was hugging me,

and she hugged me so hard,

and I hugged her right back.

The embrace was something

that I had been longing for for so many years.

Especially when I was,

whenever I was depressed,

whenever it was upset,

I would always wish my mother will be there,

someone who could be there to comfort me.

[piano music] [Wendy humming]

Stop.

[laughing]

[piano music] [Wendy humming]

[Tiffany Voiceover] As her mother

revealed the reason for their separation,

I watched my mom transform back

to her five-year-old self.

In 1965, my mom's parents were already divorced.

Her father was a gambler.

He had taken all the kids

and threatened to kill them

if their mother didn't give him money.

So she called the police,

which resulted in him being locked in a jail cell,

but my mom and her siblings were in there too.

Once they were released,

her father sold the kids one by one

to pay off his gambling debt.

For months,

my grandmother searched everywhere for her kids

and was able to buy all her children back except for one,

my mom.

[pensive orchestral music]

I didn't ask my mom

if it would've been better to not know this truth

because deep down inside, I knew the answer.

[pensive orchestral music]

[speaking in foreign language]

After reuniting my mom with her mother,

they had a few more visits,

always thinking that there'd be more time.

[speaking in foreign language]

Before my grandmother's stroke,

my mom finally asked her,

Why was I the only one you didn't buy back?

Because of martial law,

1960s Taiwan was not an easy time for women.

Fewer jobs were available,

especially for those who didn't have any education.

My grandmother borrowed

and sold whatever she had of value

to purchase her children back.

And after months of searching,

she did find my mom.

She watched my mom walk to school with Popo,

neatly dressed in a school uniform

with shiny black shoes on her feet.

She realized that Popo

could provide a better life for my mom.

For the next few years,

she would just silently watch my mom

grow up through the playground fence.

I can't imagine if I had to do that.

I'd just close my eyes

and try to imagine if I was to send any one of you away

and not being able to be with you, to see you,

or even have to go through what she had to do.

Like sneak up, you know,

somewhere hiding school yard

and peeking through fences.

It must be heartbreaking.

It's just like...

But whatever little comfort

she could get out of seeing me,

I guess it helped.

It's unfortunate whatever happened now.

[Tiffany Voiceover] My grandmother's sacrifice

was not in vain.

Popo was able to provide for my mom.

She was a widow with two grown children

that had already left home.

Popo and my mom didn't have a maternal relationship,

but they had each other.

And when my mom had children of her own,

we had a grandmother that fussed over trivial things

like us not wearing enough clothes in the winter

or eating enough at dinner,

the unspoken stuff that meant you matter to me.

[piano music] [Wendy humming]

[speaking in foreign language]

Happy new year. [speaking in foreign language]

Mom.

It's me Ru Wen.

[speaking in foreign language]

[laughing]

[speaking in foreign language]

From my sister.

[speaking in foreign language]

[singing in foreign language]

[grandmother murmuring] [speaking in foreign language]

[grandmother murmuring] [Wendy humming]

[singing in foreign language]

I know you guys always ask

how come I don't hug or kiss you guys as much.

How do you do that when you never experienced that yourself?

But you do know that I love you guys very much.

[singing in foreign language]

Okay, go on.

[gunfire blasting] [laughing]

[singing in foreign language]

[Tiffany Voiceover] I may have started out

looking for my grandmother,

but in the end, I also found my mom.

[singing in foreign language]

[pensive orchestral music]