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I’ve been trying to go on a boozy weekend to France with my best friend for years. The plans we constantly make read like a political manifesto, full of cans, wills, shalls and musts. But life always has a funny way of throwing a curveball.
Our trip to Montpellier’s Worldwide Festival, where we were to eat oysters and drink champagne as we listened to Gilles Peterson in the Sète summer sunshine, fell through because I forgot, and booked flights to Canada instead.
We then failed on a New Year’s skiing trip to Les Menuiers after spending months gathering troops and organising to stay in a friend’s chalet – where we dreamed of open fires and wine-fuelled dinners after daring days out on the slopes. I still went, but personal reasons meant my friend couldn’t.
My favourite fail was probably when we spent the best part of a few months researching flights, hotels and an itinerary for a foodie getaway to Lyon. But a health-kick plan inspired by the rugby player James Haskell got in the way.
Just when we gave in to our hopelessness, a last-minute work opportunity meant we could jump on the Eurostar to Paris for the weekend. We almost didn’t make it – it was when the strikes and gilets jaunes protests meant cancelled trains and huge delays. But this also meant we had Paris to ourselves, so we hired a couple of electric scooters and buzzed around the main sights.
Later, we met up with a couple of friends who took us out for the evening, and we partied along the main drag like it was 2008. One of them was opening a restaurant in Marseilles and invited us to the launch. “We must go!” we said. Finally, this could be the weekend we had long dreamt of – but without any hiccups this time.
The Airbnb was sorted – a lofty apartment in the city centre – the flights were booked, and the friends would be our tour guides. What could go wrong?
We couldn’t have known that, because of the pandemic, borders would shut the very weekend we had planned to go. Or that they would still be closed the two attempts later.
Alors, one day we will go to Marseilles, and we shall enjoy it so much more.
Five things to do in Marseilles when we can travel there again
Anthony Peregrine
1. On Vieux Port’s north side, the Musée des Civilisations de l’Europe et de la Méditerranée (MuCEM) dedicated to Mediterranean culture, was the outstanding success of the city’s year as a European Capital of Culture. The museum is world-class, with some cracking exhibitions – spanning paintings, video installations, graffiti, photos by the likes of Ai Weiwei and Joan Miró – already under its belt. mucem.org
2. The most famous of islands near Marseilles is the prison island of If. Despite what they tell you on the island, the Count of Monte Cristo was not imprisoned here – he was a fictional character. However, visiting the fortifications is a bracing experience and well worthwhile.
3. The other two islands, Pomègues and Ratonneau (collectively known as “Frioul”), are joined by a dyke. They afford fine walking along wild limestone cliffs and bathing from creeks in summer. frioul-if-express.com
4. The “13 Coins” has a reputation for embodying the typical Marseilles bar, and has featured as such in several films. It also served as the model for the bar in France’s favourite TV soap opera, the Marseilles-based Plus Belle La Vie. It was once the haunt of the poet and crime writer Jean-Claude Izzo, who wrote better about Marseilles than anyone. Above and beyond that, it’s a super-friendly spot on whose terrace locals and tourists all meet up. (45 Rue Sainte-Françoise)
5. Chez Madie Les Galinettes is a point of reference for Provençal specialities – both fish and meat (including a rare chance in France to eat lambs’ testicles). There’s contemporary art on the walls, a terrace out front and the best of Marseilles on your plate. The daube beef in wine may be the finest in town, and the bouillabaisse isn’t at all bad, either. madielesgalinettes.com
For more ideas on what to do and where to stay, see our expert's city guide and pick of the best hotels in Marseille.
We've failed repeatedly to get to France - yet all I want is a boozy weekend with my best friend
We've put up with a comically long list of travel fails to France – but I'm determined that Covid-19 will not claim our trip to Marseilles